No matter how much your three-year-old kid loves Thomas the Tank Engine, you should never
a.) purchase a Thomas the Tank Engine musical toothbrush that regurgitates a cutesy song for exactly three minutes every time you push the button, and then
b.) give in to your toddler’s request to show him how to “play the music song again”.
The preservation of your sanity depends on the scrupulous adherence to this advice.
The people who design these kind of things have never had children or they would not do it.
I know i broke one of my nephews toys by putting the batters in backwards because i was so damn tired of hearing it make noise, after a few hours of it.
In time,
Said child will graduate to the “Magic Mountain” playset. Where the little “vehicles” will set off the music when they roll over the “triggers”. Soon, if they are like my kids, they will lose the toys but see how long they can play the music before the batter goes out.
It is a ghastly sound, a gift from my mother-in-law, I still hold it against her.
batter=battery, my mistake. Several years later and I still hate that little engine.
Kid needs a drum set.
The most infernal “toy” I have ever seen:
It came ina kid’s meal from BK….. a brown plastic disk about 3″ in diameter, flat on one side, and convex on the other with a single red button. Pushing the button caused it to emit a loud “beep.” every few seconds FOR HOURS. To make matters worse, it was damn near indestructable. It took a couple of dozen blows from a 5 lb. sledge to “kill” this thing. Drowning did not work……… even in paint thinner……..
A so-called friend got my son a “Karaoke” microphone when he was about four, so we retaliated with a drum set for their oldest daughter. They responded with a “Slime Factory” so we hit ‘em with finger paints and an “Easy-Bake Oven”. After that we negotiated a truce. FYI: Radio Shack stores tend to carry really obnoxious toys.
They used to make a Buzz Lightyear alarm clock. It was a nifty little thing. Emitted phrases like “Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Dum dah dah dah dah!” and “Buzz Lightyear calling all space rangers!” at the time of your choosing. Hypothetically, if one were to bring it to something like a sleepover or other such occasion, it could do wonders at waking everyone within hearing distance. *muahahaha*
I just repeated your advice to my wife. Her response was “He won’t ask, he’ll figure it out himself.” Our son is 2 1/2, and has figured out how to use screwdrivers and flashlights, among other things. He’s also figured out how to make the web page move by using the scroll button on Daddy’s mouse.
I’m in for fun.
I think the most annoying noisemaker in the house is a tossup between my niece’s “Hannah Montanna” guitar and my son’s “Fridge DJ”.
When I was a kid, I had this noisemaker box whose only function was to make six different noises – things like machine gun fire, drums, etc. Drove my parents crazy with it. I also had a ray gun that made noises and also lit up. Both of those toys ended up disappearing mysteriously. My parents blamed me, telling me I had lost them. Many, many years later (after I had graduated HS) I found them tucked into a junk box in a corner I rarely visited because it usually harbored black widows.
My son has a Thomas the Tank Engine caboose that, when triggered, plays the opening credits soundtrack. You my safely guess that neither I nor his mother purchased it for him.
Thanks, sister and bother in law!
Your son can expect a box of kazoos and caps any day now. GAH!
Turkish Prawn
http://foxandmaus.wordpress.com/
Very Funny,
Godfather (theslowbleed.com)