Since we’ve touched on cereal, the nutritional value thereof, and the hilarity of some fictional varieties, here are my favorite made-up cereals featured in cartoons, sitcoms, TV shows, or comic strips:
- Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs (Calvin & Hobbes)
- Cap’n Sucrose (Peter Fox)
- Little Chocolate Donuts (SNL)
- Colon Blow (SNL)
- Nothin’ But Sugar (Married With Children) “Now With Ritalin!”
- Branimaniacs (Animaniacs), the jingle of which went:
- Logs (Ren & Stimpy) “The all-natural, splinter-free, high fiber cereal!”
- Chocolate-Frosted Frosty Krusty Flakes (The Simpsons) “Only sugar has more sugar!”
- Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets Cereal (PowerPuff Girls)
- Kellogg’s Live Angry Hornets (Letterman Show)
- Cheap Plastic Toy (Ziggy) “Free Breakfast Cereal Inside!”
- Puffy Nuts (Get Fuzzy!)
“Eat Branimaniacs,
Nutritionally it lacks!
This cereal attacks
all of your digestive tracts.
Eat Branimani- (my stomach’s in painy!)
Branimaniacs!”
Did I leave out any good ones?
Don’t forget the Star Wars cereals.
Lucky Death Stars – “That’s no yellow moon, orange star, or green clover. It’s a space station.”
Han Sol-Os – “Hokey weapons and ancient religions are no match for a good breakfast, kid.”
Han Sol-Os, Special Edition – Same thing, but the cereal bites first, forcing Han to eat it.
Obi-Wan Ken Oat Bran – “Obi-Wan Ken Oat Bran. Obi-Wan. Now that’s a cereal I ‘ve not had in a long time. A long time.”
Chris Range suggests Death Startal – “It takes a hundred star destroyers to equal the awesome destructive power of just one bowl of Death Startal.”
Luke’s High Fiber Colon Blasters – “You’re all clear kid. Now let’s blow this thing and go home!”
Jedi Mind Trix – “You want to buy this cereal. It has bright colors and a rabbit on the box. There’s a toy prize inside. You want the toy prize.”
I liked the “Admiral Crunch” and “Archduke Chocula” from Futurama.
Plus, “Karma Tornado Tick Flakes” from The Tick.
Many more here: http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-fictional.html
Nietzsche Pops … an evil series of parody video commercials that appeared on Liquid Television, along with Captain Sarcastic!.
Oops … the cerial with Captain Sarcastic was Mighty-Os … same Liquid TV …..
“Quarry” (SNL) Every bowl is chock-full of minerals!
“Free jagged metal Krusty-O in every box!”
“…it’s poison!”
Wild Rebels Cereal (MST3K):
“Crow: Hey! There’s a cheap surprise inside!
Joel: I got a gun!
Tom: I got a sawed off pool cue with a leather strap!
Crow: I got a chunk of hose filled with lead shot! “
Dunno if it meets the standard of “good,” but Seinfeld had Double Crunch.
Yeah with the funny, but have any of you buggers ever had a bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch Cap’n Crunch?
And if so, d’you know a brother who could hook me up with a bowl? I mean, I’ll pay. And if they don’t want pay, I’ll, you know. You know. Do stuff. Stuff> For the peanut crunch, yeah?
*hugs knees, shivering and looking about with haunted eyes*
Just a bowl, man. Just a bowl.
Try this for your Peanut Butter Capt’n Crunch fix.
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10312525
From “Kill Bill Vol. I”: Vernita Green takes down a box of cereal from a shelf- and inside is concealed what seemed to be a sawed-off shotgun- and she tries to shoot “The Bride” and misses.
The cereal’s name?
Kaboom!
Apparantly, it really exists…
http://www.inthe80s.com/food/kaboomcereal0.shtml
I thought Kaboom was a snack like Bugles or Funyums or something similar.
I don’t know if this was supposed to be a cereal, but once in the Peanuts strip Linus was eating something out of a cereal bowl, Lucy asked him what he was eating, and he replied “Sugar lumps with honey”, causing her to run away holding her mouth.
There were “sugar bombs” in Fallout 3, probably a wink towards C&H though.
Not a cereal, but Powdered Toast Man should be considered…
Dennis Leary suggested “Horkin’ Fiber Chunks”…
Does Futurama‘s “Bachelor Chow (Now with flavor!)” count?
Sugaroos, the first pre-sweetened cereal that’s post-sweetened too! It’s just sugar-frosted sugar.
I think I first saw this in a novel, but I don’t recall what it was. Possibly in the Demu Trilogy by F.M. Busby, along with Mushie-Tushies, which were the ultimate convenience food: pre-mixed, pre-cooked, pre-chewed, pre-swallowed, pre-digested, and pre-excreted. Just heat and flush.