monday search term safari LIX.

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hunter shoots werewolf

Did that happen in your area recently?  If so, I have a suggestion: Move the fuck away from there.  Werewolves don’t make good neighbors, and replacing all the livestock every month can get expensive.

hk 91 oversized magazine release button

The HK91 is a semi-automatic G3, but it lacks one of the more convenient features of the G3, which is the paddle-type magazine release in front of the trigger guard.  That leaves only the button on the side of the magazine well, which is located about fifteen feet in front of your index finger.  A bigger button won’t make it easier to reach.

does a 45 long colt kick harder than a 357

That depends entirely on the heat rating of the ammunition you’re using.  The powder-puff Cowboy Action loads are just enough to drive the pill out of the barrel, and usually aren’t enough to make the gun move.  On the opposite end of the power spectrum, the hardcast hunting loads loaded up past .44 Magnum ballistics kick like mules, and should not be used in Grampa’s old Peacemaker.  In fact, if it has the words “hardcast” or “hunting” on the side of the box, you should only fire it in a gun that says “Ruger” on the side.

parker 51 for sale

Mine isn’t for sale, but you can find lots of them on eBay any given day.  Parker made millions of ‘em, so they’re not terribly hard to find.  Seek out the later Aerometric models instead of the earlier Vacumatics—the filler mechanism is much more robust, and a “51” Aero is more likely to work without needing a restore.  Vac fillers often need new membranes, which will add $30-50 to the price of the pen.

pallet equivalent to cord

Our pellet stove guy says that one pallet of wood pellets is equivalent to one and a half cords of split wood. 

dresden 1945

That would be “Places in Time You Want To Avoid Once You Get That Time Machine Running”.

does twice the ram mean twice the speed

Not generally.  Performance increase from adding RAM depends on many factors, but you’ll notice the biggest improvement when you upgrade from barely adequate to sufficient, and your system’s swap file doesn’t have to thrash the hard drive anymore.  Going from 512MB to 2GB on a Vista box will make a huge difference in boot and program loading times, but the difference between 2GB and 4GB is unnoticeable for most applications.

naming your kids after states

Skipping past the obvious joke of avoiding “Idaho”, it all depends on the chosen state name.  “Georgia” is OK, but you should only name your kid “Indiana” if you want to force him into a career as a combo archaeologist/adventurer. (Teach him the bullwhip early.)  Avoid state names like “Mississippi”, “Massachusetts”, and any other Indian-derived names that look like a forklift crashed into the Consonants section at the Scrabble factory.

what the fuck was wrong with adolf hitler

That’s a good question, and one that has prompted many authors to write many books on the subject.  I think that “What the fuck was wrong with the Germans in the 1930s?” is an equally fascinating question, but one that gets a little less airtime on the Hitler History Channel.  We like to distill bad events down to one single source of blame, because the more complex answers can only be found by asking inconvenient questions.  It’s always easier to point the finger and say “The devil/Hitler/Saddam/Bush/Elmo made me do it”, and we as a species naturally seem to gravitate to a single-antagonist feindbild.

a knife never runs out of ammo

And a gun never needs to be sharpened.  Your point?

Ammo independence is an overrated quality in defensive arms.  (Ask yourself why cops carry Glocks instead of Bowie knives on their belts, despite the undisputed ammo independence and effectiveness of the latter.)

how to sell your ideas for royalties

Ideas are cheap.  (Mine are a dime a dozen.)  Coming up with the idea is not even close to being the hardest part of writing a novel.  Sitting down and actually writing the damn thing is the hardest part. 

Never tell a writer “I have an awesome idea for a novel.  You can write it, and we can split the royalties!”  It will not get you the desired response.

what kind of a rifle would a .600 nitro be

Rifles chambered in .600 Nitro Express are very large and heavy things designed to kill the most dangerous four-legged game on the planet—things that can shred you or stomp you flat in a few seconds.  Whatever the hardware, a .600NE generates so much recoil that the saying goes, “Kills on one end, and maims on the other.”

how to get rid of a fisher cat

You could try shooting it.  If you’re opposed to killing even dangerous pest animals, you can try the Chicago method: post a whole bunch of signs around your property that say USE OF TEETH AND CLAWS ILLEGAL.

arkansas jokes involving cows, beer cans

I don’t know any, but I’m sure there’s no shortage of cow/beer can jokes in Arkansas.  Check with Jeff Foxworthy, a renowned expert on Regional Jokes of Rural Appalachia And Mudflap Country.

 

That’s it for this week’s edition.  Come on, people—feed me some more wacky moped searches, will you?

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