There’s been a fun string of Tweets under the hashtag #failedchildrensbooktitles, and I thought I’d share some of the ones that made me laugh. Humor is definitely my favorite human quality, and I’m impressed with the amount of comedic talent out there on the Intertubes.
#failedchildrensbooktitles
Curious George and Daddy’s Browser History
Guess How Much I Love Your Much More Talented Sister
Cha-lee and the Sweatshop Factory
Pop! Goes The Hamster…And Other Great Microwave Games
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
The Way We Were–A guide to saving your parents’ marriage once you’ve ruined it with your birth.
The Bi-Polar Express
Where the Sidewalk Ends in a Chalk Outline and Police Tape
Exploring the Vans of Strangers: The Ride of Your Life.
Charlie and the Chocolate Starfish
Why You Shouldn’t Talk To Strangers: A Picture Book
The Very Horny Caterpillar
Mother Grey Goose Rhymes
The Little Engine That Drinks Like Your Mommy
Little Red Ridin’ The Whole Hood
Green Eggs and Salmonella
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
The Indian In The Casino
Patty Went Splat (Don’t YOU Forget To Wear Your Seatbelt)
Everybody Poops Blood
Rebecca of Auctioned Farms
Heather Has Two Uzis (my contribution)
The Berenstain Bears, The School Bully, And Grandpa’s Old Tommy Gun (mine as well)
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Useless Degree
Charlotte’s XXX Website
Bi-Curious George
Oh, the Places You’ll Die!
Daddy Hits Mommy Because You Won’t Shut Up
The Selfish Tree
LOL! Are You My Stalker?
The Scat In The Hat
Mommy Hides The Best Candy Above The Bathroom Sink
I’m Not Learning To Read, And You Can’t Make Me, Elmo
The Big Book of Incest
See Spot Fight, by Michael Vick
A Roofie For Caroline
On The Night You Were Conceived
The Lion, the Witch and the British Word For Closet
Horton Hears A Jew
If You Give A Mouse A Condom
Mechanically Separated Chicken Little
Off-White and the Seven Vertically Challenged But Valued Members of Society
The Day Suzy Was So Bad Her Mother Stopped Loving Her
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hangover
Chitty Chitty Gang Bang
The Tragic School Bus Visits North Korea
“Daddy Drinks Because You Cry”
“The Fortune Cookie the Condom Wasn’t”
“Where You Never Point on the Dolly”
“how twitter chatter replaced pitter patter in the hearts of moms and dads”
twitter; the c.b. radio of the new millenium…10-4 good buddy.
jtc
Dora, the Destroyer of Worlds.
*gigglesnort* Thank you for sharing. These made my day.
Thanks for sharing, Marko! Those were great!
Heh.
THere’s actually a song called “Bi-Curious George” on the album “Hello Kinky!” by The Wet Spots.
The Little Engine that Pulled a Train
=( I’m still banned on Twitter. And I don’t know why. *sniff* It makes me sad.
Somethingawful did a Fotoshop Friday of these as covers a couple of years ago, truly hilarious.
Looks like a stolen meme from 2002 ….
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/childrens-books.php
Yep … stolen meme.
[...] Wrong It’s Good Filed under: Japery — williamthecoroner @ 17:01 Marko’s string of failed children’s book titles. Between the Bi-Polar Express and Where the Sidewalk Ends in a Chalk Outline. It just appeals [...]
Goodnight Moonshine
The Little Vicisectionist Who Could
There is a real book, Caldecott award winner and everything….”The Matchlock Gun” where a boy uses his father’s outdated matchlock gun to kill Indians and save his mother and sister. Dad was out performing militia service….
Still available after all these years. Perhaps the most politically incorrect book you can imagine these days. Of course I loved it!
Harry Pooper and the Sorcerer’s Bone
Don Meaker’s post reminds me that I must dig out the sketches of a piezoelectrically trigger cold-dye laser. I will – I must – make the Flintlock Raygun a reality.
Not Chitty-Chitty Gang Bang
It’s Nitty Gritty Gang Bang.
First saw that on the side of an old DC Transit Bus.