monday search term safari LXXVII.

parker 51 for sale

If you want a Parker “51” (and good on you if you do, for it is a fine and excellent pen), you have several options. You can buy a “51” from one of the respected pen restorers/nibmeisters like Richard Binder, troll the “For Sale” section at the Fountain Pen Network (yes, there really is a forum for every special interest under the sun), or roll your dice on eBay. If you go the fleaBay route, look for an Aerometric “51” (the newer models with the squeeze-bladder filler) instead of the older Vacumatic model (the older models with the little plunger under a blind cap at the back of the pen.) You have a better chance of scoring a functional Aero off the ‘bay, since their “Pli-Glass” sacs are incredibly durable. The Vacs have rubber diaphragms that are less durable, and many of the Vacs you find in the wild will need restoration after 50+ years.

canned haggis pictures

There’s one place in the U.S. that sells canned haggis, and that’s Caledonian Kitchen. They also have pictures of their product, so head on over for some Haggis porn. (Oh, God…I wonder what kind of spam I’ll attract with that term.)

piccadilly primo medium 288 pages price

Our local Borders sells the small, medium, and large Primos for $5.99, $6.99, and $7.99, respectively. I have a few, but I think I prefer the black Piccadillys with the oilcloth cover. The paper in the Primos is better, but my local Borders only stocks the lined variety, and I’ve come to prefer unlined paper.

use alphasmart as computer keyboard

Just plug in your Alphie via USB, and the PC/Mac will see it as a standard USB keyboard. The screen of your Alphasmart will read “Emulating PC Keyboard.” Works just fine, and you can still shuttle files on or off the Alphie any time you want…just fire up the Alphasmart Manager software.

spike strips for my lawn

Do you have a problem in your neighborhood with kids racing their ride-on lawnmowers across people’s yards at high speed?

deter rodents raccoon

Raccoons can’t be deterred easily, because they seem to be rather daft. I mean, we had one wander into a place that has the scent of death (in dachshund form) all over it, and the little bandit was undeterred. He was the raccoon version of the dumb little college kid who goes off by himself in a dark and spooky house to “check out that weird noise.” His fate was predictable.

iwb holster from akj concealco

I have one of those for my Steyr, and I like it a lot. It’s well-made, comfortable, and durable. For less than $50 shipped, it was quite the bargain.

writing on walls performance art

Ooooh…then my kids are performance artists. Maybe I should remove the entire mural-bearing drywall section in the playroom and take it to a gallery, to sell on consignment and pad their college fund.

top plausible porn movies

They’re all plausible, aren’t they? I mean, the world is positively littered with silicone-enhanced peroxide blondes who just get uncontrollably horny at the sight of a plumber’s crack, right?

44 mag lever gun utility

If you don’t try to pull off 300-yard shots, a .44 Magnum lever gun has as much utility as one chambered in .30-30 or .35 Remington. They’re both in the same ballpark in terms of muzzle energy, but the .44 launches a heavier bullet with higher sectional density. If you keep it under a hundred yards, it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other. (For plinking and home defense, I’d say that the .44 has more utility than the .30-30, because it holds more rounds.)

357 sig or 40 sw caliber whats better

One shoots slightly smaller bullets a bit faster, the other shoots heavier bullets of slightly larger diameter. Both have roughly the same muzzle energy in the top loads. The .40 is a bit cheaper, and a lot more available, since 175% of police departments these days issue pistols in .40S&W.

is spray cheese fake

It’s made of perfectly natural (read: carbon-based) polymer chains.

best defensive ammo for 44 mag s & w

Don’t load up your .44 Magnum with bear killers because you simply must have the most foot-pounds you can get out of your cannon. The heavy loads in .44 Magnum have lots of flash and recoil, make quick follow-up shots difficult, and tend to over-penetrate. (Ideally, you want the lead to stay confined to the Bad Guy, and not zip right through him, two sheetrock walls, a magazine rack, and three innocent bystanders.) Pick one of the “.44 Magnum Lite” loads with moderate bullet weights and velocities…or just load up with .44 Specials instead. (Their Silvertips in particular are a fine defensive choice.) Trivia: Dirty Harry loaded his .44 Magnum with Specials, too, by his own admission.

fountain pen parker sonnet

The Sonnet is Parker’s entry in the $100-ish fountain pen bracket. I know some people who absolutely love theirs, and others who can’t get theirs to write properly. It looks nice and fits my hand well, but for $100, I don’t like rolling the Quality Control dice. For the same cash, you can get a Pelikan M2xx-series pen, or a Lamy 2000, both of which are superb writing instruments.

There you go: the bloated post-Thanksgiving edition of the MSTS! Now back to the oars with you, ~~Propulsion Specialists~~ galley slaves!

Nov 25 2009

happy thanksgiving.

The Thanksgiving weekend is upon us, so I’m going to try and use this here computer for nothing but mindless web browsing and World of Warcrafting for the next few days. (Our Thanksgiving dinner will be Cornish Game Hens, as per recently established tradition. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get leg ruffles for Cornish hens?)

I do have a movie recommendation to pass on, just in case you haven’t seen the flick yet. It’s the film adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Stardust. I watched it last night, and liked it a lot. It has a very Princess Bride-y feel to it—very much a fairytale for adults, just like the novel. If you haven’t gotten around to watching that one, it’s well worth a few bucks for the rental.

Here’s wishing all of you imaginary Internets pals out there a Happy Thanksgiving. Hit that liquor cabinet, stuff yourselves with flightless birds, and spend some time with your friends and families. I’ll certainly take the opportunity to do all of the above.

Nov 24 2009

typecast #5.

(Click to embiggenate.)

Nov 23 2009

monday search term safari LXXVI.

roman polanski current legal status

His current legal status is “Child-raping shitbag, breathing bar-filtered air in Switzerland.”

writing straight on unlined paper

Some people can write straight on unlined paper, others can’t keep a straight line to save their lives. If you’re in the latter group, you can print out guide sheets that you can put underneath the blank page.

germany seax knife

The Seax was a single-edged large knife used by the Saxons. They were so identified with it that the name of the knife became the basis for the name of the tribe.

"if it only saves one" fallacy

The problem with the “If it only saves one life” argument for passing laws is that it can be easily turned on itself by finding instances in which the implementation of the law would cost a life or three as well. For example, banning guns may save lives by making it harder for really dumb criminals to get one, but it may also cost lives by removing the ability of the law-abiding folk to defend themselves against the smarter criminals. When you point that out, however, those possible deaths are written off as acceptable collateral damage.

german movie critics

I should totally do movie reviews in a thick German accent, and filter American flicks through imagined German artsy sensibilities. It would be a cross between Roger Ebert, and Mike Myers’ Dieter from Saturday Night Live.

is 14 a good number

It’s a perfectly cromulent number. It’s also a very useful number with considerable utility. Without it, some states wouldn’t have an Age of Consent.

mouse infestation hazardous for toddler?

Well, the mice won’t gang up on Little Timmy to bring him down in the middle of the playroom like a swarm of furry white land speeders felling a binky-sucking AT/AT, but mice have other ways of being a hazard to kids with uncalibrated immune systems. Mouse poop isn’t among the healthiest substances on the planet, and toddlers like to stick stuff into their mouths.

novelists composing by paper or on computer

Some novelists write by hand, some use the computer, some swear by their typewriters. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say that 80% use the computer these days, with the rest split between longhand and typewriters. (A surprisingly high percentage of my favorite authors either write by hand, or with a typewriter.)

how the fuck do you disasemble the colt

Heh. This one just kicked over my giggle box this morning. From the level of frustration crammed into that search term, I’m going to guess he’s a 1911 noob trying to disassemble one.

porn discovered on company laptop

I was a corporate IT drone once upon a time. When we discovered porn on peoples’ laptops, their reaction would invariably be either a.) head-hanging shame, or b.) steadfast refusal to admit responsibility. Popular excuse: “It was TeH hAxXoRz!”

That’s the MSTS for today. I am pleased at the relative lack of disturbing/disgusting search terms this week. See what happens when you apply yourselves, Internets?

Nov 22 2009

a quick sunday poll.

Doing some research for Beeg Eemportant Theeng, and finding myself in need of material.

What’s your favorite movie set in the 1920s/1930s United States?

Nov 20 2009

pew pew. maaooowwwwnnn.

I know I’m months behind the Kool Kidz, but I finally had a chance to watch the new J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot. (Minor spoilers ahead, just in case you’re even less hip than I am, and haven’t seen the new Trek yet.)

Liked:

The visuals were amazing, as is to be expected of current-day CGI. The space battles were fantastic, exciting, fast-paced stuff. Favorite shot: the unlucky female crew member of the Kelvin getting sucked out into space through a hull breach, and careening off past the phaser battery that’s firing back at the Romulan ship.
The set design was also well executed. The bridge of the new Enterprise makes the Apple Stores look like they were put together by the Amish. The uniforms approximated the original series’ velvet pajamas without looking either cheesy or like a bad homage.
The actors mostly got the characters’ idiosyncrasies down, and created their own interpretations without just doing Kirk/Spock/McCoy/Scotty imitations. The only one that grated a little was the guy who played Scotty—he had a hard time keeping up a convincing Scottish accent.

Flinched at:

The science, particularly the “red matter” business. Ouch. The stuff is so volatile and powerful that it can generate a singularity, yet you can keep it contained in a Vulcan ship, siphon it off with a needle, and bottle it?
What was the point of Young Kirk trashing that ‘Vette, other than establishing that James T. Kirk a.) has a severe issue with authority, and b.) really likes hanging off precipices by his fingertips? (He ends up in that position three or four times in the movie.)
The Enterprise being put together in a dry dock in the middle of Iowa? How are you going to get the whole thing into space when it’s done? Every bit of technobabble related to Trek makes clear that the Enterprise needs her transporters because she can’t make planetary landings. It made for some awesome CGI shots, though.
The villain. I’ve liked Eric Bana since Blackhawk Down, but he doesn’t come off as very menacing or convincingly motivated in this one.
Academy cadets staffing a commissioned vessel (the flagship of the fleet, no less!), because the rest of the fleet is busy somewhere else? Does Starfleet have such an abundance of ships that they have to resort to filling them with trainees in an emergency?
Kirk being evicted from the Enterprise, shot down onto the desolate ice planet…and ending up literally on top of Old Spock?
Do a three-man HALO drop with Kirk, Sulu, and a Red Shirt…and give all the detonators to the Red Shirt? (Hands up, all of you who didn’t see Red Shirt’s fate coming from a mile away.)
Amazingly creative field promotions—putting cadets above Fleet officers into command positions.
Promoting a maverick Academy cadet straight to Captain, and giving him command of the flagship of Starfleet?

Overall, however, it was a fun ride, and a mostly well-executed (and much-needed) reboot of the franchise. I did like how they mostly pulled off the whole “alternate reality” thing, to wipe the slate clean regarding continuity. It’ll be interesting to see where they take the whole thing from here.

Nov 20 2009

when entitlement whiners attack.

That salty scent you can smell in the air this morning? That’s the smell of millions of hippie tears, wafting over from the Left Coast, where the students of UC Berkeley demonstrate that Economics isn’t much in demand at their institution.

Look, kids: your home state is broke as shit. It’s broke because you folks voted yourself free everything with crunchy gratis glaze and no-cost sprinkles on top, and even the super-sized tax rates your state collects aren’t enough to pay for everything. The money to run stuff has to come from somewhere, and when your state cuts education budgets (see “broke as shit” above), then the only way to keep the lights on is by raising user fees. But you go ahead and throw your hissy fits because you’re asked to pay for the services you’re receiving, and see how far the sympathy-o-meter gets pegged. To me, it’s just another conclusive demonstration that your idea of taxation is “Free Means Free To Me”, and “Don’t tax you, don’t tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree.”

(On a side note: even after the rate hike, the bill for a semester at UC Berkeley is $10k per semester. Compared to other universities in its weight class, that’s a screaming bargain. Get a scholarship, get a side job, put some elbow grease into it…but stop whining about having to contribute to your world-class education what are basically slightly inflated community college fees in other parts of the country.)

Nov 19 2009

no shit, einstein.

The American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology figures out what some of us have known all along: you can’t get rid of everything on airplanes that can possibly be used as a weapon.

(They stabbed a few dead pigs with various everyday items, such as pens and broken glasses. Shockingly, all of them can inflict lethal wounds.)

Your weapon is that squishy grey mass between your ears—everything else is just a tool. I know people who are more dangerous with a paperclip and a hand towel than your average soft suburbanite would be with a loaded machine gun. You can kill someone with a freakin’ paperback, if you have the attitude and the will. Trying to make society safe by taking away all the sharp, shooty, or pointy things is a fool’s errand.

(Via BoingBoing.)