Sometimes, you find a gem among all the really boring generic “Loved this post!” spam caught in the filter. The following piece of clickbait has a surreal stream-of-consciousness quality that reminded me of the Cylon hybrids running the baseships:
“There began the handbag with their main black replica about vuitton else – finger workboat loved scarred on its blueblack. He began about the tiffany, replica as marking you. Walkie had his talkie. Highly he continued glasses purse – now, was the replica. The coach quality replica so. Esq oily. Twice. The chopard began forgotten. John, unknowing a special player watches. You turned you little to continue his he’d swiss, no numerous army above watches above. Me had of coach nodded of handbag, and i focus should’ve to be this replica – scar hand in the. I closed being i’d. A zenith was the adjoining replica – to the distant rolex in suspect watches the most surprising din from the features into delgado – and he must impatiently fold and sleep, relatively focus columns. Also him looked to stonehenge and finally to replica zealand, how them had unexpectedly of two on the executive, lowering, for a lips – still as of way, and fully in after a new night. He could clear become the watches for we removed known the women never to line, and they could throw mocked talking the safety with the atomic eye at the nose and telling his arrival. Rolex said his watches. He don’t tooted. We was he to him nowhere, perhaps very in i went it, into her bangs his that rolx. I began gliding the quality.”
(I took out the clickable links.)
That is so full of meme gold I don’t even know where to start. Walkie had his talkie! He must impatiently fold and sleep! I began gliding the quality.
man, i see these things on some other sites’ comments section, and they can be funniest thing i see all day.
sometimes i remember them and use them in conversation.
He don’t tooted, indeed.
You’re damn tootin’ he don’t tooted.
Typewriters not Mumbai said.
AT
Anybody else thinking “Finnegans Wake”?
Oh, man, I’m dyin’ here.
Did anyone else read this in the voice of Malcolm McDowell AKA “Little Alex”?
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe
Ea! EA! Shub Niggurath, Cthulhu Ftang!
My first guess would be that somebody ran two or three concatenated blog or message board posts through Dissociated Press a few times.
(Lo! Emacs is good for something besides carpal tunnel syndrome!)
Looks like someone ate a dictionary and a strong laxative, and then pieced together what came out.
I deliberately did not read past the first coupla sentences of that, because I need to go to bed and get some some sleep soon, and that seems like the kind of thing which is likely to inspire bad dreams.
G . . . g . . . g . . . .
Gunkid?
Is that you?
Your 9mm as effective as a beaver with Norplant.
Tam, the Norplant does not go in the beaver…… I’m just sayin……
Dementia than people who I do not recall have lower rates of of yellowish orange spice chemical explanation followed which curry houses. A whole because of turmeric that cannot type quite that which I do not spicy food have lower because that podcast whole lot of chemical people who eat large a podcast. And I of dementia than people little or none. This orange spice you see with it, whole lot of chemical.
Punctuation edited slightly for clarity.
I love this. I see it in my head laid out in broken lines, a la e e cummings. Also, I would love to see Matt Kish do an illustration of it. Now that he’s illustrated every page of Moby Dick, he could move on to illuminating evocative spam.