monday search term safari CIII.

ducks living in blow-up boat

See, that’s why we need Rick Santorum in the White House. He will put a stop to that sort of immorality.

letter envelope and pen

I don’t like to use them for production work, but fountain pens with italic nibs (“calligraphy pens”) make lovely lines with varying line width depending on stroke direction. There’s one you can buy at Staples or from my favorite pen pushers at JetPens. It’s called the Pilot Plumix. They’re about $8 and come with one ink cartridge. Just stay away from the Sheaffer calligraphy pens–those are junk.

happy dachshund

A happy dachshund is one who eats. Dachshunds live to eat, even more so than other breeds. When they’re not eating, their predominant moods are “belligerent” or “SLEEP MODE ACTIVATE”.

how to storyboard a novel

I don’t routinely storyboard my novels, but I did so for one of my current works-in-progress, an Urban Fantasy/paranormal mystery. Because the plot had to be airtight and planned out well in advance, I storyboarded that one using a method I borrowed from Jo Knowles. Find the freely available storyboard printable pages, and use one panel per chapter. Make a sketch inside the panel visualizing the main event or mood of the chapter, and write a one-or two-sentence chapter description underneath. Incredibly useful for keeping all your ducks in a row and seeing the flow of the story.

pretty girls in the street

See, that’s why we need Rick Santorum in the White House. He will put a stop to that sort of immorality.

olivetti lettera exclamation mark

They don’t have one. Omitting it let them save a key, because you can make the exclamation mark with the ‘ and . characters. Make a period, backspace one spot, and strike an apostrophe right above the period.

sarnafil pvs

Our Sarnafil roof is three years old, and we’ve had zero problems with it. It turned a leaky metal roof into a watertight slip-and-slide that clears its own snow load. They’re expensive, but well worth it.

can you carry an assisted opening knife in MI

Glib answer: you can carry anything almost anywhere as long as you’re willing to accept the consequences if you’re caught with the item. I don’t know MI knife laws, but I think it’s pretty sad that regular law-abiding people need to take to the Internet to find out if their home state allows them to carry a particular tool in their pocket. My own home state of New Hampshire did the smart thing a while back–they got rid of all the onerous knife restrictions that were put on the books because some legislators in the 1950s had their horn-rimmed glasses fog up in panic after they watched The Blackboard Jungle and Rebel Without A Cause. Plus, you know, switchblades. We know what kind of yutes like to carry those. (Hint: it rhymes with flop.)

hipster with powerbook

The hipsters carry MacBooks now, ever since they retired the PowerBook name in 2006. On the other hand, you could probably score hipster points again by sitting at your local indie coffee shop with an original Sony-built Powerbook 100 running Mac OS 6 and WordPerfect.

what makes marko kloos so damn sexy?

I know I’m being set up here, but that’s my favorite search term ever. I suspect it’s just a natural property, or maybe it’s that German accent combined with my unbridled masculinity. STOP LAUGHING.

far horizon traders review

My dear wife bought me a FHT leather satchel for my birthday almost two years ago, and it has worn in very nicely. It was very reasonably priced, very well made, and arrived quickly and well-packaged without any hinky business, so I’m giving FHT two thumbs up.

it’s not rape if she’s a tease

I don’t know why people need to keep pointing this out because it seems rather simple to understand as far as social yardsticks go:

If the other person said or indicated “no” at any point during the whole thing–if he or she didn’t freely consent and participate without any threat or use of force or coercion–then it’s motherfucking rape. I don’t care if she walked down the street stark naked except for a pair of six-inch heels–if you forced or coerced her in any way, it’s rape. It’s not that hard.

things you don’t want to hear at a gunshop

“Can I still buy a gun if I have a murder conviction?”

“I’ll take this one. According to prophecy.”

“Say, do you know when the bank across the street opens?”

“Uh, can I buy, like, just one bullet?”

“The Voices say I want that AR-15 carbine over there.”

“Don’t even try to rip me off. I know all about guns. I play Call of Duty every day.”

“I want that Taurus Judge. It’s a hand-held shotgun. You don’t even have to aim the thing.”

“This one is just like I used to carry in the teams. Why, this one time in Fallujah…”

“I need a clip for my gat.”

“Whaddaya mean, ‘background check’?”

“What kind of rifle would you use for a lying, cheating deer who ran off with your best friend?”

“Will this go through a cop’s vest?”

how to write a military novel

I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll recap because it’s really easy to write a military novel. Just write whatever novel you want, and then make an editing pass and insert ranks in front of every character name. Presto!

“Corporal Bella woke to find Lieutenant Edward watching her from the foot of her bed…”

And that’s the take for this week, friends and neighbors. Tune in again next week for a new round of Search! Term! Safari!

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8 thoughts on “monday search term safari CIII.

  1. Robert says:

    Lamy makes their Safari in a medium italic nib, I see it regularly in various colors in the Fahrney’s catalog. I think I’ve seen Pelikan pens with an italic nib, also, but might be wrong about that.

  2. Dan says:

    I work at a gun store and I hear the one about the Taurus Judge all the time. Occasionally people also come in looking for such-and-such gun from CoD or Battlefield or whatever, too. “The Things You Overhear at a Gun Store” would make a good post, hell, with weekly installments if you still worked at one.

  3. jbrock says:

    Plus, you know, switchblades. We know what kind of yutes like to carry those. (Hint: it rhymes withflop.)

    Cop? Yeah, those guys can carry switchblades just about anywhere. Outside of TSA jurisdiction, anyway. ;)

    Seriously, there’s a book by David Wong called Knife Laws of the Fifty States currently in stock at Amazon. If there’s a problem with it, it’s the publication year of 2006. There’s been a real push in the past few years to repeal knife laws in as many states as possible, and prevent new ones from getting passed. That’s mostly the doing of the Knife Rights organization, who are to knives (roughly) as GOA are to guns. If anything, knife laws have loosened in most places that aren’t, say, New York or Chicago. Your reader might want to ask a lawyer who keeps up with that field, or a Knife Rights representative if s/he can find one. (Asking a LEO or a salesman may be problematic. The former tend–understandably–to overstate the strictness of knife laws in their jurisdictions, while the latter tend to understate it.)

    The American Knife and Tool Institute, who are to knives (very approximately) as the NRA are to guns, have a pretty informative essay on the general matter at their site.

    “I’ll take this one. According to prophecy.”

    Somebody’s been reading Skippy. :D

    It’s a neat trick, though. “In accordance with the Scriptures” might work, too. Actually, dropping random snippets of RC liturgy into unrelated conversations might be a fun little social experiment. I might have to try that.

    “I need a clip for my gat.”

    Related, and personally witnessed: “I need fifteen bullets for my gat.” (Whereupon the fellow behind the counter refused–wisely, in all likelihood–to sell the dude anything.)

  4. Nomen Nescio says:

    note: IANAL, i just live in MI.

    that said, as i understand it, you can carry assisted openers in this state. MI’s definition of switchblades follows the federal one, assisted openers are for sale in decent hunting and camping stores freely, and nobody pays any mind to a knife clip in your pocket.

    get arrested for something the cops disapprove of and there’s all sorts of “we’ll slap you with this because we don’t like the look on your face” charges on the books, some of them to do with knives. (blades over three inches long, for instance.) but if they’re looking for such nuisance charges to slap you with, they’ll always find something no matter what you’re carrying (or not).

  5. julie says:

    :( can’t locate those pilot plumix pens here …

  6. I. Can’t. Stop. Laughing….:D

  7. [...] Marko, riffing on a search-engine query — apparently some people actually curate these things … Just write whatever novel you want, and then make an editing pass and insert ranks in front of every character name. Presto! [...]

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