“dachshund” is german for “roomba”.

I call this composition “Hope Springs Eternal”. (Alternately: “Gravity, Do Your Thing!”)

a high-octane present.

The first birthday present of the weekend, courtesy of loyal minion reader John.  He suggested the purchase of a bottle of Templeton Rye, but they don’t sell that stuff anywhere in NH, so I took the opportunity to try a single malt Scotch that I’ve been meaning to sample for a while now.
So, thanks [...]

a culinary abomination.

It’s Friday!  For all you newcomers, that’s the day I load up the Battlestar with kids, and head over to the fahm, to get some wicked tasty milk.  After that, we’re going into town for some beans and flour, and maybe some hooch, all added to the tab at Old Man Smithers’ country store.
There’ll be [...]

humanity’s culinary achievements.

I’d love to take two months off, and work down this list one by one:
The 50 best foods in the world.
Just reading through the line-up makes my mouth water.

your german culture lesson for the day.

Much of German cooking is based on the need to make crap ingredients palatable.  There’s your Sauerbraten, for example, which originated as a way to make a big, stringy, tough chunk of meat edible by marinating it for a week in a vinegar & spice bath before cooking it.  Since the Middle Ages, Germans have [...]

open letter to the intertubes.

Dear Interwebs,
I recently lost a wager with a friend, and now I owe him a bottle of local wine.
I have procured the wine, but UPS and USPS refuse to ship bottled alcohol.  I fear there’s no way to get this delicious Piscassic Pond Halfsaett Honey Mead to my thirsty friend in Chicago, and I may [...]

and if they can’t solve it, they go hungry.

The kids are having hot dogs, tater tots, and a math lesson for lunch.

Yeah, this is a geek household.
(Props to the first reader who identifies the tater tot arrangement pictured above.)

favorite fictional cereals.

Since we’ve touched on cereal, the nutritional value thereof, and the hilarity of some fictional varieties, here are my favorite made-up cereals featured in cartoons, sitcoms, TV shows, or comic strips:

Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs (Calvin & Hobbes)
Cap’n Sucrose (Peter Fox)
Little Chocolate Donuts (SNL)
Colon Blow (SNL)
Nothin’ But Sugar (Married With Children) “Now With Ritalin!”
Branimaniacs (Animaniacs), the [...]

and somewhere, a PETA member cries.

Can you identify the tasty treat these kids are consuming eagerly?

That’s right–it’s crispy, yummy bacon, the highest and most noble of the breakfast foods, and the reason for the evolution of the pig.
If I ever get around to designing one of those pretentious medieval-style family crests, ours will have bacon featured prominently in [...]

i just took delivery of 10,000 calories.

The FedUp guy just trudged all the way up to the portcullis of Castle Frostbite to deliver a package. 
Turns out LabRat and Stingray over at Atomic Nerds have spared no effort or expense to provide us with caloric treats for the holiday season.  Said package included a gargantuan Ziploc bag full of homemade peanut [...]