progressive, my ass.

When your home state hands out longer jail sentences for owning the wrong sort of sheet metal tube than for repeatedly molesting a young child, you have to start looking for a new name for your legal department, because “justice” it ain’t.

those wacky germans again.

When parking your vehicle without permission on the lot of a private company for five days in a row, blocking the spot for legitimate users, make sure the company in question isn’t one that specializes in building fences.

That’s a recent picture from Germany.  The company employees put a note on the car, asking the [...]

criminal masterminds, part XIV.

Two dumbasses from Iowa decided to burglarize a home. Their cunning disguise?
Painting their faces with black marker.
Personally, I think the cherry on the icing of that particular Stupid Cake is the fact that they used permanent black marker.

NOTAM.

Quick pointer for a certain pair of Delta pilots:
The long strip of asphalt fringed by white lights is called a runway.  It’s for landing, or taking off.
The long strip of asphalt fringed by blue lights that’s often found next to that “runway” is called a taxiway.  As the name implies, it’s for taxiing the plane [...]

you go, girl.

BBC brings us the heart-warming story of Rukhsana Kauser, a teenage girl living in Kashmir.  When militants came to her house to force her into marriage with their leader, and started beating her parents, Rukhsana and her brother basically uttered the local version of “Oh no, you di’nt”.  The girl disarmed one of the militants, [...]

i fail to be all torn up about this.

Dear news media: Susan Atkins was only technically speaking an “ex-Manson follower.”  That term makes her sound like a naughty groupie.  More accurately, she was a murdering sociopath who knifed a woman who was eight months pregnant, killing her and the child she was carrying, and then scrawling the word PIG in her blood on [...]

unbelievably tacky, yet unrefined.

Regardless of your political stance or beliefs, there are some things you simply Do Not Do, no matter how much you disagree with a political opponent:
You do not yell “YOU LIE” at the President of the United States in the middle of a speech to both houses of Congress.
That holds especially true when the man’s [...]

never swim in the ocean when you hear ominous music.

A locality out on Cape Cod is warning people that several large sharks have been sighted near the swimming beaches recently. 
Of course, it didn’t take very long for the comment thread on that article to devolve into a line-up of “Jaws” quotes…

slap my kid, pick up your teeth.

Here’s one for the parents among you:
You’re shopping at MalWart with your two-year-old kid.  Your child is a little fussy, and crying about something—not an unusual state of affairs for a kid that age.
Some stranger gets annoyed by your kid’s crying, tells you to ‘shut her up, or I’ll shut her up for you,” grabs [...]

of unintended consequences.

One of the side effects of Senator Kennedy’s death has been the metaphorical pee-pee dance in which the Massachusetts House Democrats have engaged.  With Kennedy’s Senate seat unfilled, they’re looking to pass a law that lets the governor pick an interim replacement for the job, so MA won’t have just half its Senate votes in [...]