Most of us know of the deep and lasting animosity between ninjas and pirates. In fact, the pirate is the natural enemy of the ninja, and without pirates, we’d be knee-deep in ninjas.
I had a really boring class today, and I had a brilliant idea for a theatre production. Modernized Shakespeare productions have been all the rage lately…but nobody’s ever done a Shakespeare adaptation featuring pirates and ninjas.
So without further ado, I present my concept of such a play…a Romeo & Juliet adaptation where the Montagues are pirates, and the Capulets are ninjas. You see, Romeo is the son of a pirate, and Juliet is the daughter of a ninja. Can you just see the potential for high drama here?
I’ve been writing scenes in my head all afternoon.
“In fair Sarasota, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where Ninja blood makes Pirate hands unclean.”
The big fight scene between the Capulets and Montagues? Throw in flintlock weapons and throwing stars, and you have gripping stage fireworks. Tybalt slays Mercutio with cunningly concealed shuriken from his sleeves, whereupon Romeo draws his two flintlock pistols from his sash and lets Tybalt have both barrels.
I even have a prototype playbill in mind: a simple sketch of a cutlass crossed with a katana. How cool would that be?
Shit, I’d pay good money to see that play. (Not that I ever need an excuse to watch Shakespeare, but who wouldn’t dig Shakespeare with frickin’ pirates and ninjas?)