what does irish penance mean in the navy
“Irish pennants” are the loose pieces of thread on clothing. When you’re Irish pennanting, you’re plucking off the thread to make your clothing look neat again.
why do military tuck in boot laces
Because it looks neat. Also, because falling over your loose boot laces can be inconvenient when you’re doing military stuff, like charging an enemy position.
This one takes the cake for “weird fetish of the week.” Considering the number of odd fetish searches I get every week, that one should be a permanent category. I mean, Supercuts? Is it the smell of the hair tonic, or the buzz of the electric clippers that gets your mojo going?
how do i blouse my boots?
You don’t blouse your boots, dummy. You blouse the trousers, which means using a blousing band to bunch the pant legs up over the shafts of the boots. It’s much neater than tucking the ends of the pant legs into the boots.
how many marines guard the president
Actually, the Secret Service guards the President. The Marines guard Camp David when the President is in residence there, but he still has his Secret Service guys close to him…lots of Secret Service guys.
That’s just nasty. Why would you ruin a perfectly good crumpet (English muffin, for the American English speakers) with something as horrible as Vegemite? Might as well just butter it and drag it through your cat’s litterbox.
property in tehran
The answer is “women”. Women are property in Teheran, and in the rest of Iran. Not even Iranian livestock has to walk around dressed like a black cloth replica of Cousin Itt.
how to draw s.w.a.t team
Stick a kitchen timer into a block of Play-Doh, go over to the mall, wave the Play-Doh about, and yell gibberish in a Middle Eastern accent.
is there such an animal as a jackass?
Yes, there is. Coincidentally, it’s also the mascot of the Democrats. (The Republicans have adopted the slow-witted, ponderous elephant.)
That’s the take for this week. Make sure you set your calendars for next week’s edition!