my inbox, she is full.

A public service request:

Will you please, please, pretty please stop sending me political agitprop via email?

Seriously…I’ve seen every bit of e-mail evidence out there now–multiple times–and I am deeply convinced that:

a.) your preferred candidate is the country’s last hope for freedom, decency, unmolested Golden Retriever puppies, and the American Way of Life,

b.) the other candidate stands for everything we don’t stand for, enjoys deep-fried kitten sandwiches for lunch, hates God/black people/white people/Christians/Muslims/women/children/America/apple pie, and wipes his ass with original copies of the Bill of Rights,

c.) the fate of the country hinges on my decision at the polls on November 4th. 

(Also, if I don’t vote for your guy, I’m an unfeeling/un-American naive moron who will then be solely held responsible if we starve at the hands of our Wall Street overlords/end up in U.N concentration camps.)

Yes, thank you, the message has been received.  You may cease filling my inbox with propaganda now.  Thank you kindly.

16 thoughts on “my inbox, she is full.

  1. Breda says:

    By now you’d think people would know that you’re a smart guy, completely capable of doing your own political homework.

  2. Tam says:

    Also, they told me you look like dorks.

  3. JD says:

    What kind of wine do you serve with deep fried kitten anyway???

    Just had to ask. . . . .

  4. Marko says:

    Wine and deep-fried foods don’t go well together. Deep-fried kittens should be served with a cold beer.

  5. crankylitprof says:

    You’d pair a smoky chablis with kitten meat — they’re like chicken.

    Can I send you poop jokes and disgusting photoshops?

  6. Marko says:

    I’d be most offended if you left me out of the poop-jokes-and-disgusting-Photoshops email loop.

  7. Paul Simer says:

    Try this: http://www.stopforwarding.us/

    It not only benefits you, but is likely to shame the person into stopping altogether, since they don’t know who sent them the complaint. It worked great for me when people were sending the “OBAMA IS A MOSLUM OMG” emails.

  8. Paul Simer says:

    Of course, now I have to worry about that person searching for my name and that website, finding this page, and realizing it was me.

    Screw you, buddy! I’m sick of your crap and you wouldn’t take the hint! Wanna fight about it?

  9. theflatwhite says:

    But, if you don’t vote for my guy, you are an unfeeling/un-American naive moron who will then be solely held responsible if we starve at the hands of our Wall Street overlords/end up in U.N concentration camps.😉

  10. ilcylic says:

    My candidate enjoys deep-fried kitten sandwiches for lunch, hates God/black people/white people/Christians/Muslims/women/children/America/apple pie, and wipes his ass with original copies of the Bill of Rights, AND I’M GODDAMN PROUD OF IT.

  11. Phil says:

    Has anybody else noticed that this election, like the last few, is “the most important election in recent memory?”

    I swear, the more they trot that line out (even if I agree with the causes those folks support), the less I really care. This nation has survived some incredibly incompetent people at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., and no matter who wins this election or any other, we’ll eventually have to survive another fool in office at some point.

  12. MarkHB says:

    But but but but but but the wrong lizard might get in!!!!!!11!!111!!!!eleventy!!!

  13. BryanP says:

    I just tell them “Already voted. Leave me alone.”

    If they get pushy I tell them I voted for the one they don’t like, even if I didn’t, just because I love to see the steam rise.

  14. prophet says:

    Is there anything actually illegal about eating cat? I’d be willing to try a deep-fried kitten sandwich. Should be pretty tender.

  15. Tam says:

    I’m a little sore that Zombie Reagan isn’t on the ballot in the Hoosier State.

  16. shortbus1836 says:

    You could always write him in.

    I’m thinking a deep fried kitten sandwich would go good with a bock beer.

Comments are closed.