I keep getting spam emails from a “tactical training” outfit that’s advertising training which will turn the most mild-mannered and pasty-faced accountant into a battle-hardened commando in a few days or weeks.
Let me take this occasion to share with you my 100% fail-proof litmus test for determining the value of any given training, equipment, or technique.
The following items are universally bullshit, and a total waste of money:
- Any technique named after its inventor.
- Any technique or device named after a martial creature, action, or effect. (“Cobra Strike draw”, “Fang Face Bullet”)
- Any technique that’s proprietary (can only be taught by one individual, at one school.)
- Any technique that is advertised as being learnable solely through mail-order media (DVD, VHS, or book.)
- Any technique that is advertised as “revolutionary”, or as being actively suppressed/shunned by the “mainstream” instructors in the field (due to its superiority, of course, not because it’s a bunch of crap.)
- Any device or technology with more than one occurrence of the letter “X” in its product name.
- Any technique or gadget that is primarily marketed as being the preferred/official gear of the U.S. Navy SEALS, Delta Force, or similar high-speed, low-drag outfits.
- Any technique that features levels of proficiency marked by silly rank names (“Twelve Weapons Combat Honcho”), pseudo-military rank structures, made-up Japanglish titles, shoulder boards, epaulettes, or sew-on patches.
- Any technique, training, or equipment advertised in the back pages of Soldier of Fortune, Guns & Blammo, and Wannabe Commando Magazine.
That about covers it, I think. Let me know if you think I missed a parameter.