the teenage girl chewtoy of the year.


The time-honored Teenage Girl Fan reaction to a live sighting of one’s idol is to scream at the top of one’s lungs, in a frequency and volume traditionally reserved for dog whistles and jet engines at full thrust, respectively.

With the premiere of “Twilight”, the movie adaptation of a teenage-girl-falls-for-vampire novel by Stephenie Meyer, the baton of Most Screamworthy Teen Obsession seems to have been passed to one Robert Pattinson, a young actor previously best-known for playing Cedric Diggory in yet another novel adapted for the screen, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Here’s a fun thought experiment:  Would you want that sort of fame, and the associated monetary benefits, in exchange for drawing mobs of hysterically screaming teenage girls everywhere you go?

Me, I certainly would (mainly for the monetary aspect; I’d feel decidedly weird about teenage girls lapsing into hysterics at my sighting), but the number on the check would have to be pretty damn high.  In fact, it would have to have more zeros than a History Channel special on Pearl Harbor.


7 thoughts on “the teenage girl chewtoy of the year.

  1. MarkHB says:

    There aren’t many things I won’t do for the right price.

    This isn’t on the list.

  2. Jay G. says:

    I’d rather be the heartthrob of teenaged girls’ moms, but that’s just me…

  3. mtsonline says:

    Teenage girls have the attention span of a Golden Retriever, so if you’re today’s hot stuff, you’re tomorrow’s episode of “where are they now?”

    I’d rather have the undying affection of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Their sugar daddies give them more money to spend on me than real daddies give their teens.

  4. MarkHB says:

    mtsonline, that’s part of the draw for me. You get a fat paycheck, have to wear ear-plugs for eight months after which you’re old news, no longer have to have random underthings slung at you and get to go back to whatever it is you were doing before. Fame fades fast, but you get to keep the money. Doesn’t sound like a bad deal to me at all.

  5. Breda says:

    Yes. Send money, pls. kthxbai.

  6. farmist says:

    Is it me, or does he look like a younger version of Quentin Tarantino?

  7. Joe says:

    “…more zeros than a History Channel special on Pearl Harbor.”

    My first laugh of the day! Awesome!

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