monday search term safari XXXI.

im glad to be an american where at least i know im free

Ugh.  That’s a horrible line from a  horrible song.  Read it out loud—it doesn’t even make sense, and it’s grammatically incorrect.  “American” is a nationality, not a location.  You can’t be from American.  Also, what the hell does the second part of the sentence mean?  Do you at least know that you’re free?  That would mean you don’t know much else.  Or do you know that at least you’re free?  It’s a gruesome song, and every time I hear it, it makes me cringe.

reliable 1911

A plain GI model without kitchen table surgery, fed with ball ammunition from seven-round GI magazines, is one of the most reliable handguns around.  Start butchering it and adorning it with “improvements” like extended guide rods, funky slide geometries, cup holders, and similar flim-flam, and reliability starts to suffer.  If the 1911 needed that sort of enhancement for reliable function, John Moses Browning would have added it.

will a k frame fit an l frame holster

Generally, yes.  However, the L-frame is slightly bigger than the K-frame, and your K-frame will have a little slop in most L-frame holsters.

hanging kills instantly

Short-drop hangings break the neck and generally kill instantly.  Some countries, however, use different methods of hanging, and those are probably among the most drawn-out and painful ways to kill someone.  Iran, for example, hangs people by using a crane as a hoist.

socialized medicine + incentive for doctors

In socialized medicine, the doctors have a big incentive…to get the hell out of practicing medicine.  (Ask yourself why every single public health care system has a shortage of qualified medical professionals.  Just Google “Canada doctor shortage”, or “Britain NHS doctor shortage” for some examples.)  I mean, who wouldn’t want to take on a quarter million dollars in college debt to work in an environment where the state tells you exactly how much you can charge for your services, looks over your shoulder constantly, and nails you to the wall if you prescribe too much of one medication, or approve treatments that are deemed too expensive? 

(Yeah, yeah, HMOs do the same thing, but if you think HMO bureaucracy sucks, wait until the government takes over health care, and you get all the HMO red tape plus the full enforcement powers of the hanging over your head.)

felon rights to bear arms

A felony disqualifies you from buying or owning a gun, which is a little odd, considering we don’t strip felons of the right to free speech, or the right to free exercise of their religion.  It’s the only right enumerated in the Bill of Rights that is denied to felons, which must mean the gun control crowd has a good point when they claim the Second Amendment is more dangerous than all the others.  How else can you explain so many “pro-Constitution” gun owners supporting that particular restriction?

(Oh, and by the way, if you think felons shouldn’t legally own guns, you’re giving the gun control crowd a perfect tool to kill the Second Amendment without getting rid of it directly.  All they have to do is to make sure that lots of things are re-badged as “felonies”.  Jaywalking is a felony in some places now…how would you like to lose your right to vote, and your right to keep and bear arms, over a jaywalking charge?)

what hunts fisher cats

Mustelids don’t have too many natural predators in the wild.  That’s because all members of the weasel family are categorically insane, and ferocious all out of proportion to physical size.  It seems that even animals have the good sense to look at a wolverine or fisher, and go, “That guy is fucking nuts.  Don’t mess with him, or he’ll chew your face off.”

woman & guns don’t mix

Au contraire, my dyslexic friend.  Women and guns are a great combination, because you can’t beat an armed woman.  Most gun-owning women I know could probably outshoot you any day of the week, sport. 

Also, female novice shooters are generally much more quick to learn proper safety and gun handling skills, because they don’t have a testosterone-fueled ego in the way of accepting instruction.  Guys just “know how to shoot”, even if they’ve never used anything bigger than a Daisy Red Ryder before.

fired for private laptop use at work

I guess your employer figured that you were using your private laptop for, you know, private business.  Also, they can’t keep tabs on what you’re doing on company time when you’re using your own hardware.  So, good luck on your search, and remember to leave that laptop at home next time.

11yr webcam

If your webcam is eleven years old, you should probably think about replacing it with a newer and better model.

chair you put your knees on

Amazingly enough, they’re called “kneeling chairs”.

"tactical revolver"

I’ve so had it with the gratuitous overuse of the word “tactical”.  There’s no meaning left to the term, except perhaps “black and expensive”.  Tactical is not a device, but the way in which that device can be used, and when it comes to self-defense, almost any course of action is “tactical”, even if it’s a bad tactic.


That’s it for this week, Internets!  Be sure and come back next week for another Search Term Safari!


16 thoughts on “monday search term safari XXXI.

  1. perlhaqr says:

    *whips out the can of flat black spray paint and the price label printer*

    Time to go make some tactical dollars.

  2. Jay G. says:

    I’d wager the tactical revolver in question is the new S&W 327 TRR8.

    CAUTION: Link is not safe for those who love and cherish wheelguns for their timeless beauty and elegance…

  3. prophet says:

    I guess Obama got himself a tactical wife.

  4. Wild Deuce says:

    You are right on the mark regarding felons with guns. If they are so dangerous that they can’t be trusted with a gun, what on earth are they doing walking around amongst us? Either you paid your debt or you didn’t.

    There was a recent story of an ex-felon (unsure of the crime … robbery, drugs, assault?) that had cleaned up his life and moved on. Here he is maybe twenty years down the road. He is married with kids and running his own towing business. One day he is the victim of an assault and robbery attempt. He pulls out a gun and kills at least one of his attackers. He is not charged for murder since the shooting was ruled self-defense. He is going back to the big house though for being a felon in possession of a firearm. If I recall correctly, he received several years. The judge wanted to “send a message.”

    I wish I could find the story and get the details correct. I think this was in California somewhere.

  5. Vince says:

    @ Prophet…


  6. Tony says:

    Wait, what? Jaywalking is a felony? Where? Link?

  7. LabRat says:

    Short-drop neck-breaking hanging doesn’t kill instantly, it’s just much more aesthetic. What dangles at the end isn’t a dead man but a slowly suffocating quadraplegic.

  8. Robert says:

    I may be mistaken, but I think the term for the most efficient type of hanging is the long-drop technique, not short-drop. A short drop does not guarantee a broken neck, whereas a long drop does. Distances are relative, of course, and during the period when hangings were common, the length of the drop varied according to the expertise of the hangman.

    Conscientious hangmen (there were a few) were careful to factor in such things as weight of the condemned man and the muscularity of his neck. Too short a drop would result in slow death by strangulation, too long a drop could result in decapitation (the train and stagecoach robber Black Bart suffered this fate). Ropes were inspected and if possible pre-stretched; the knot was positioned behind the left ear to provide a torqued sideways snap that would hopefully break the neck.

    I’m sure that’s more information than you probably ever wanted on hanging.


  9. Robert says:

    Oops, I see that Black Bart didn’t die as I just reported, or so Wikipedia indicates, for what that’s worth. I remember some famous robber died by decapitation while being hanged, however. Now I’ll be trying to discover who it was the rest of the day.


  10. El Capitan says:

    I’m reminded of the words of G. Gordon Liddy regarding firearms & felons.

    “As a convicted felon, I can’t own firearms. However, my wife has a sizeable collection…”

    Local rules may vary, check before sending your spouse to the gun shop!

  11. MarkHB says:

    Mmmph. Referencing LabRat, it’ll still take A While (there’s very little data, but from the blinking it’s at least a minute away from instantaneous) for Short Drop hanging to kill. The blood present in the brain has to deoxygenate first, and with no body-load on that, it’ll take Some Time. The severed spinal cord does not necessarily mean that the brain won’t be in hideous agony the neurally-connected side of the cord, for that matter.

    If you want to kill someone humanely, put a heavy calibre bullet through the back of the head, a heavy enough calibre, at a slight upslope, to turn the whole brain into a mushy fog. That’s one of the rare ways to ensure total death occours before suffering can happen.

    Also, a standard-pattern M1911A1 is the most comfortable gun I’ve ever shot, with the most consistant off-the-bat pattern. Until something better comes along, Old Slabsides will be my piece-of-choice.

  12. igli1969 says:

    I have my (late) father’s WWII M1911, and a more modern Kimber version. The latter is more accurate, and just as reliable (never a malfunction). Recently, though, I got the Springfield XDm in .40 S&W. It’s just as accurate (disclaimer: when I reference “accurate” I mean for my hand, skill level, and nearsightedness), and only had one malf during the first 100 rounds, none since (up to about 700). And the mag holds 16 rounds.

    And I also like my S&W Model 625 (.45 ACP) revolver. Six rounds and then pistol-whip any bad guy still standing. Is that tactical enough? 😉

  13. MarkHB says:


    I want to love the Springfield XD too much to take it on faith. It’s just too good to be true. A beautiful, Master-Chief styled M1911 with 13 in? That’s less money than a couple of terabyte drives? I dursn’t. Not until I’ve put a good few hundred through one.

    I want it to be all that, and a bag of chips – but I won’t commit to it until I’ve found that It Fits. If It Fits, It Hits. If it fits like the M1911… then I won’t stop buying them. I grok Marko’s comments on wheelgun reliability, but I’m just the most accurate I’ve ever been on 1911 pattern. I do want an XD though.

  14. Windy Wilson says:

    Other overused phrases that mainly mean, “we’re going after the mall ninja market” are “quantum” and “combat”.
    I’m looking for a source to sell some quantum tactical combat vests.

  15. Bunnyman says:

    Does anyone use the word ‘tactical’ in a manner pertaining to, y’know, tactics? Just asking.

  16. john b says:

    I think in ‘umble omage’ to the Obamanator, I’ll go out and get me a “Tactical Girlfriend” Y’Know, “Black and Expensive”

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