back at the castle frostbite.

A new day dawns at the Castle Frostbite, nestled in the upper reaches of the Frozen Wastes, in the land of Cryogenica.

The lord of the manor steps out to take the castle’s weekly refuse down to the road, for disposal by the industrious Publick Workes elves that live in the village below.

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That’s the view from the front portcullis, looking towards the long and dangerous path that leads down to the road.  This path has been laboriously carved out of the frozen mess so that the intrepid adventurers who inhabit this castle can get down to the road and fetch their mail and UPS packages.

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And down through the Forbidden Forest…

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…to the Magic Mailbox.  It’s called that because no matter how much snow the lord of the manor clears in front of it, there’s a new wall of snow in front of it as if by magic the next morning.  The lord suspects mischief on the part of the Publick Workes elves.

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On the way back up to the Castle, the lord stops to admire Caravan Hill.  Legend has it there’s a magical horse-less carriage from an ancient time buried underneath.

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Here’s where the lord of the manor has to brave the Forbidden Forest once more.  Note the lantern, which turns on when strangers approach, as if by magic.

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If the wolves don’t get you, the Ents may detain you for a while to see if you’re some variety of orc.  Actual orcs don’t dare walk this path, for good reason.

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Finally, the Castle is in sight once more!  Back to the warm hearth, for a mug of mulled wine and a slab of warm mutton.


13 thoughts on “back at the castle frostbite.

  1. Jay G. says:

    Holy cow, Marko, I nearly hurt myself I was laughing so hard…

    It’s made all the more funny because we have the same Public Work elves down here in South Town. They delight in knocking over the magic bill receptacle in front of stately G. Manor. Time and time again, their brobdinagian engine of white removal knocks the magic bill receptacle over; time and time again the valiant jester who lives in stately G. Manor puts it back up.

    Until one time, the jester lost all his marbles and went after the engine of white removal with a shovel.

    But that’s a story for another time; the jester’s only saving grace is that he knows the constables with the wands of ballistic projection who keep South Town safe from passing ruffians…

  2. crankylitprof says:

    This is NOT encouraging me to pack up my get and move north to such a fairyland castle.

    Does this evil white enchantment ever end?

  3. Kristopher says:

    Mutton Chops? So, you are between 15 and 25th lvl?

  4. perlhaqr says:

    Y’know, if you can just find Jadis and break her magic staff, it’ll get warmer.

  5. dang it man…having a whiteout Christmas was more than i bargained for when i offered to trade places with my sultry fla place; besides temps plunged to the frigid 60’s here today, but it’s back to 80 for Christmas day…yuck.

    do avoid someone’s advice to go the flamethrower route, though:


  6. MarkHB says:

    Better to light a flamethrower than to curse the whiteness. That’s what my gramma said.

    It was such a lovely funeral we had for her. Wickerman and everything.

  7. Angus Lincoln says:

    …and it’s only December ! An hour or so north of you , in the Mt Washington Valley, the total snowfall for the month exceeds 56″ already! Looks like mid February in a normal winter. If I operated a ski area, I’d be sending the snowmakers home early.

  8. Earl says:

    Nice to walk along with you, your snow is so clean and high, ours already dirty and melting slowly……..

  9. Oana says:

    But Marko, it’s so *pretty*!
    (dodges snowballs)

    In truth, the lord of the castle has but one problem: he has no servants to do the menial labor for him! But if he is patient and waits ten years, he will find himself sitting before a warm fireplace in Castle Frostbite, as his servants toil in the cold for something called an “allowance”.

  10. You, sir, are truly a wordsmith. That was funny.

    And Jay? “Wands of Ballistic Projection”? Oh, I know someone with just a touch of D&D Geek in ’em…;)


  11. MarkHB says:


    If I knew where he lived, and had the lead time, this would have been Jay’s giftmas pressie:

    Oh yes. Oh, yes it would.

  12. mike w. says:

    Jesus! That looks nice and all but it must be a huge PITA.

  13. Jay G says:

    LMAO @ MarkHB!!! Oh, that is TOO funny…

Comments are closed.