monday search term safari XXXVI.

differently colored eyes

That’s called heterochromia, and it’s relatively rare in humans.  I’ve seen many dogs with two differently colored eyes, but never a person (if you don’t count watching Christopher Walken movies.)

advice for aspiring writers

I’m not really qualified to dispense any advice in that area just yet, but the advice I found most helpful was to write a lot, read a lot, put your writing on the market, and learn to like Ramen noodles and PB&Js.

can you sell a kidney

Sure you can, as long as it’s not a human one.  For some reason, our lords and masters have decreed that we don’t fully own our bodies.  They have no problem with people ruining their health by working 80-hour weeks for a corporate employer, so renting yourself out is OK, but selling that same body is a big no-no for whatever reason. 

snow plow for van

Up here in Upper Cryogenica, there are plenty of vehicles with front-mounted plows driving around.  They’re almost universally pickup trucks with 4×4 drives, or heavy trucks.  Minivans have a low stance, and generally lack 4WD systems, because those would necessitate a drive shaft hump in the passenger cabin.  A front-wheel drive car makes a crummy snow plow.

computer for basic word processing

The nice thing about writing from a  technical standpoint is that it doesn’t require much in the way of computing power.  You can write a novel on a Windows 3.1 PC from 1994, and the end result won’t be any less in quality as if you had written the same novel on a state-of-the-art quad core computer.  The only thing that really limits you is the need for the ability to get data off the thing, but anything that writes to 3.5″ floppies (or speaks Ethernet) should be fine.

“hooker brunch”

I don’t know what they have for brunch, but I know that a “Hamburg Hooker Breakfast” is a cup of strong black coffee, and a filterless cigarette.

wrangler computer 1989

In 1989, I had an Amstrad CPC464, with 64kb of memory, and a tape drive for loading and storing data.  We had games, but there was no Internet, and if you wanted to look at porn, you were limited to ASCII art.

cocaine, horseradish

One goes up your nose, and the other goes on a sandwich.  Try not to confuse them, because the results would be unpleasant.

manufacture 22lr k frame silencer

You can’t suppress a revolver very well because of the barrel/cylinder gap.  Also, if you cut the barrel of a perfectly good K-frame just to try and put a can on it, you commit an unpardonable sin.

stop the government from spending my money

Good luck with that quest.  They’re not spending your money, they’re spending your children’s and grandchildren’s money.  Your money was already spent decades ago, probably around the time LBJ or Nixon were in office.  See, the government can borrow cash just by promising that someone else’s kids are going to pay it back out of their paychecks, which doesn’t exactly encourage fiscal responsibility.


That’s the meager take for this week.  Tell your friends and neighbors to feed more wacky search terms into the Google, so I have something to work with here.  (And, seriously–stop looking for underage porn, Comcast user in Minneapolis.)


14 thoughts on “monday search term safari XXXVI.

  1. MarkHB says:

    I suppose David Bowie’s eyes are functionally different colours – one pupil’s locked open which makes the left iris look a different colour to the right due to the bunching or the iris.

    Pedant, pedant.

  2. perlhaqr says:

    Chrysler offers an AWD version of the Grand Caravan. There’s also the Pontiac Montana, Toyota Sienna, Buick Terraza, and Saturn Relay.

  3. mtsonline says:

    I grew up a few houses from a girl who had a light green right eye, and a really blue left eye. And, for added strangeness, the pupil in her blue eye was not centered, but off to the lower right (as you were looking at her). She didn’t need glasses, and swore that her vision was just fine. I only knew her from 5-10 years old, and my parents and hers didn’t get along after a while, so that was the end of that. But I wonder whatever became of strange-eyed Kathy.

  4. BobG says:

    An old friend of mine has one blue eye, and one hazel. Bad vision, though.

    “hooker brunch”
    Tube steak?

  5. Hank says:

    I knew a gal in high school with a brown eye and a light brown eye. Given the opportunity, I may very well have married her for that trait alone. (But then again, I would have married damn near any female for any reason at that point in my life. G-d bless (or curse) hormones.)

  6. Cardinal says:

    Actually Jane Seymour has two different color eyes.

  7. MarkHB says:

    She could have four different eye colours and still be very, very delightful to behold Cardinal 🙂

  8. Tim says:

    The cocaine, horseradish search makes me think they were looking for a scene from Jekyll and Hyde… Together Again.

  9. ibex says:

    I also grew up living next door to a kid with one brown and one green eye.

  10. dpatten says:

    I knew a girl that had two different colors in ONE eye. One half was hazel and the other half was a startling green. I suspect she had some sort of genetic mosaicism.

  11. Joanna says:

    I had a frighteningly perky sorority advisor named Barbie (I’m not kidding) who I never knew had two different colored eyes, until I arrived late to a meeting early one morning. She began to holler at me for being late-and as it was early in the morning I guess she didn’t have her contacts in-and I was so startled by her eyes that I had no idea what she was saying. The experience still haunts me to this day!

  12. pax says:

    One of my sons has sectoral heterochromia. Never knew there was a medical term for it. He’s got beautiful hazel eyes with one dark brown “pie piece” in his right eye.

  13. […] – Your Money Edition In response to “stop the government from spending my money” Marko has this to say: Good luck with that quest.  They’re not spending your money, they’re spending your […]

  14. Nick (The Other White Nick) says:

    By the way, there are other vans than minivans.
    Chevy’s full-size Express vans come in AWD forms.
    The non-AWD are RWD.

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