married man minivan radio show
Well, I could try my hand at Podcasting, but there are maybe four people in the country who’d listen to The Married Man Minivan Show, and three of them are living in the same house with me.
how do fisher cats defend itself
Fisher cats are black belts in the art of Mustelid-Fu, also called “weasel karate”. It involves just going absolutely batshit insane on someone. (Ever seen a weasel fight? It’s like watching a razor-studded Slinky in the spin cycle of a washing machine.)
protecting your dog from fisher cats
Try one of these:
jet li gun disassemble
That’s a particularly pervasive and annoying bit of gun shop urban legend. “Don’t buy a Beretta 92! The bad guy can just rip the slide right off!”
Bullshit, bullshit, utter bullshit. Taking the slide off a Beretta 92 requires the consent of the person holding the gun. If you Google screen shots from Lethal Weapon 4, you’ll see that Mel Gibson’s Beretta already had the takedown lever conveniently rotated into the “down” position when Jet Li pulled the slide off. To rotate that lever, you have to press a teensy button on the right side of the frame, and simultaneously press down on a teensy ledge on the lever itself (which is on the left side of the frame.) If you can do all those things in less time than it takes for the owner to pull the trigger, then you’re either superhuman, or the person holding the gun is fast asleep.
Oh, and don’t even try to tell me that you or one of your buddies can do that stunt. (Ask yourself why even super-duper martial arts wizard Jet Li needed the takedown lever pre-staged.) I hereby challenge anyone who makes such a claim to come up here to Castle Frostbite with $1,000 to put up against my $1,000. If you can pull the slide off a stock, unmodified, un-fucked-with Beretta 92 before I pull the trigger, you get a free grand. If you can’t, you get a Simunitions round between the running lights, and I get to buy myself some shiny stuff.
Don’t take your gun knowledge from Hollywood movies, kids. And yes, the adults in the room will know when you’re talking BS.
marx gas station
If Marx ran a gas station, it would be owned by everyone. There’d never be any gas available, but at least it would be free. Also, the c-store would only carry Bulgarian shoes, those little Babushka dolls, cheap-ass Russian vodka, gray Duroplast buckets, and Klavkalash meat snacks. (“No bowl! Stick! Stick!”)
what does “naturalized born” mean
You’re confusing two terms: “natural born”, and “naturalized”. The former means you were born an American citizen (either on U.S. soil, or to at least one citizen parent while on foreign soil), the latter means you’ve acquired citizenship through naturalization (becoming a citizen by legal decree from a federal court.)
astra closed slide stuck handgun
You either have a bulged case in your pistol’s chamber that’s keeping the slide shut via friction, or you have an Astra 400, which has a hojilion-pound recoil spring that requires two men and a mule to cycle the slide.
how to write with pen and paper instead
If you put the pen on the paper with the pointy end down, you’ll notice that it transfers a liquid onto the paper. That liquid is called “ink”. Holding the pen in your hand, you…ah, you know what? Fuck it. If you need to Google how to write with pen and paper, please turn off the computer, and report to the nearest Soylent Green factory.
can sex offenders ligally bare arms
Yes, I’m pretty sure it’s legal for them to roll up their sleeves and show off their prison tats.
Ugh. The last two search terms make me weep with abject despair at the state of pooblick edjukayshun. LOLspeak isn’t funny when it’s the only way you can spell.
And that’s this week’s edition, friends and neighbors! Tune in again next week for another round!