what’s wrong with a damn yorkshire terrier, you stupid bint?

Here’s the full transcript of the 911 call made by the owner of the chimp who went apeshit on a family friend in Connecticut the other day.

For those of you who think that 911 will magically summon a swift response, consider how much time the dispatcher spends going through the protocol with a woman who’s clearly frightened out of her mind and under high stress.  Now imagine the call taking place with a human intruder in the house who’s determined to do her harm before she can finish her call.  A five-minute response is a lightning-fast police dispatch in most communities (out here, we’re twenty minutes from our village police station, and unless a cruiser happens to drive by at the right moment, it’s a long wait for a cop), and five minutes are pretty much an eternity when someone is trying to chew off your face, or shank you for the credit cards and the thirty-eight dollars in your wallet.  Once again, when seconds counted, the cops were only minutes away. 

This woman kept a 200-pound primate in her residence, and she didn’t keep any weapons at hand to protect herself or others in case this semi-domesticated wild animal became a hazard to anyone.  Instead, she is taken by complete surprise that her darling pet can behave like the wild animal he is, and she has to  plead with the dispatcher to send someone and “bring the guns” to shoot her chimp. 

This, friends and neighbors, is terminal stupidity all around.  Unfortunately, the brunt of the fallout in this case was shouldered by the family friend who had her face chewed off, and the chimp who got a brisket full of .40-caliber rounds.  Stupidity should hurt, but all too often it hurts all the wrong people.  The owner of that chimp is fully responsible for everything that happened, and I hope she loses her hide in the lawsuits that are sure to follow.

Ugh.  God must love idiots…he made so freaking many of them.

6 thoughts on “what’s wrong with a damn yorkshire terrier, you stupid bint?

  1. You might be interested in this blog post by someone who appears to have some local knowledge of the people and the chimp involved.

  2. crankylitprof says:

    Sad in so many ways.

    What bothers me is that she had a wild freaking animal, but no tranq guns in case of emergency. She;’s not seeming very remorseful or concerned about her chew-toy friend, either.

  3. mts says:

    Of course they’ll make a series of cover-all laws to where you can’t even have a pet cockatoo anymore. They should be able to regulate whether a wild animal has a proper habitat (the cage the chimp had looked like a bird cage, for Pete’s sake), and is secured to protect the lives and property rights of the neighbors, same as dog leash laws. If your dog is a threat, they’ll remove it.

    If this was the first problem with this chimp, I’d say, “Put this in the ‘stuff happens’ file.” But this chimp had been a problem.

  4. LittleRed1 says:

    A local out here with federal permits for primates and some other animals had a smaller monkey (species has left my mind at the moment, but I want to say macaque) that attacked the owner’s son. The owner shot the animal as soon as his son was clear. That is responsible ownership. Not what this monosynaptic idiot did.

  5. Jumblerant says:

    I agree – gross irresponsibility.

    We have an aquarium with 20 fresh water fish. But we have a bottle of bleach and a car battery to hand in case things get ‘a tad nasty’.

    According to The Book of General Ignorance – where do most tigers live? THE USA!!! ‘The American Zoo and Aquarium Association estimates that up to 12,000 tigers are being kept as private pets in the USA.’ Now that’s just asking for ‘issues’.

  6. Kristopher says:

    Jumblerant: — But we have a bottle of bleach and a car battery to hand in case things get ‘a tad nasty’.

    You can never tell when those guppies might leap from the tank and swarm you.

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