left 4 flat.

In Episode #482 of The Things You Find On Wikipedia When Doing Research (Thereby Hosing Your Writing Time), I present to you…my vehicle of choice for the Zombocalypse: the Liebherr T 282B mining truck.

Liebherr_t282_1

This fine example of German engineering, the world’s largest earth-hauling dump truck, has an empty weight of 203 metric tons, a load capacity of 365 tons, and a wheelbase of 22 feet.  It’s powered by a 90-liter diesel engine that puts out 3,650hp.  The air-conditioned cabin sits eighteen feet above the ground.

Mount some miniguns on those guard rails, retract those ladders, and you have an impregnable rolling fortress that can drive over the hordes of shambling undead on twelve-foot diameter tires at forty miles an hour.  The zombie apocalypse will be a mere inconvenience as you sit in your air-conditioned cabin, with three hundred sixty tons of supplies stored safely in the open-box bed behind several inches of German steel, to keep you and your guns fed for years to come.

The Liebherr T 282B: “Because They Can’t Kill What They Can’t Reach!”

(MSRP  $3,500,000.  Tax, tag, and title fees not included.)

19 thoughts on “left 4 flat.

  1. John Gall says:

    A good chassis on which to build the vehicle to which use you envision.

  2. MarkHB says:

    Oh now I know where they got the vehicles for the opening segments of Gears of War 2.

    Good choice, that.

  3. Peter says:

    One problem – what’s its fuel consumption? You might find that a huge proportion of that payload capacity has to be used to carry enough fuel to get you only a hundred miles or so!

    That aside, it looks perfect for the purpose. You could even carry a decent-size travel trailer in the rear, set up for a good night’s sleep for the crew!

  4. williamthecoroner says:

    You’re one sick puppy, Marko.

  5. theflatwhite says:

    Want!

  6. Reuben says:

    whoa whoa whoa……

    Is that a Left 4 Dead reference?

  7. Alan says:

    I’m pretty sure this is what some guy at work is parking at the very end of the row in the parking ramp.

  8. OrangeNeckInNY says:

    Did you ever see the movie “Soldier” with Kurt Russell and Jason Scott Lee? The “crawler” they used is pretty awesome.

  9. Bunnyman says:

    My inner five-year-old is jumping up and down and grinning right about now.

  10. BobG says:

    Fuel is no problem; just render down all the zombies you run over.

  11. RevolverRob says:

    In regards to fuel consumption. I’m unsure as to what it is here for the Liebherr, but I understand that it is reasonably good for other trucks in this class. I.E. Most of these trucks are built to be run non-stop, 24-hours a day. They often have large enough gas tanks to run for 6-7 days straight without refueling and with a full load.

    Now, how big are the tanks? Most of them appear to be 1600-2000 gallons. Ouch, that’s a hefty amount of diesel.

    -Rob

  12. Dave says:

    Wow – that’s impressive.

    What isn’t as impressive is the relative size of the fire extinguisher on the front.

    While I’m sure it’s better than nothing, if this thing springs an oil or fuel leak and it catches fire (granted, it’d be less likely with diesel) does anyone think that fire extinguisher would do any more good than peeing on a bonfire – even IF you could get the extinguisher to the source of the fire?

    I’d want one of those airport fire dept sized foam trucks spraying on me if my 365 dumptruck catches fire!
    🙂

  13. Dave says:

    uhm, that should be “if my 365 _ton_ dumptruck catches fire!”

  14. Vaarok says:

    I’ve always said the first stop on a zombie-uprising should be to the town highway garage to secure a plow truck. Smaller scale, but the same idea and the plow makes up for the size differential.

  15. T.Stahl says:

    “left 4 flat”

    Hä?

    Die vier linken sind platt?
    Nummer vier auf der linken Seite ist platt?
    Weggegangen, zur Wohnung?

    Nee, schon klar.
    Ich sag Dir besser nicht, wo ich am nächsten ersten anfange.😉

  16. Marko says:

    Als ob ich dass jetzt nicht wissen will…also raus mit der Sprache!

  17. Jumblerant says:

    Do you think we’ll get a good discount if I get one too?

  18. Larry says:

    Dave,

    That fire extinguisher on the front is just a manual backup. On such big, expensive vehicles, engine fire suppression systems are built-in and automatic (though can be manually activated by the driver).

  19. wolfwalker says:

    wait a minute, is that thing a Transformer? Sure-as-hell looks like a pair of eyes at center photo, above the “T 282 B”.

    On a more serious note, you can find trucks almost as big right here in the US of A. They use ’em all the time in big pit mines like the Bingham Canyon copper mine.

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