In Episode #482 of The Things You Find On Wikipedia When Doing Research (Thereby Hosing Your Writing Time), I present to you…my vehicle of choice for the Zombocalypse: the Liebherr T 282B mining truck.
This fine example of German engineering, the world’s largest earth-hauling dump truck, has an empty weight of 203 metric tons, a load capacity of 365 tons, and a wheelbase of 22 feet. It’s powered by a 90-liter diesel engine that puts out 3,650hp. The air-conditioned cabin sits eighteen feet above the ground.
Mount some miniguns on those guard rails, retract those ladders, and you have an impregnable rolling fortress that can drive over the hordes of shambling undead on twelve-foot diameter tires at forty miles an hour. The zombie apocalypse will be a mere inconvenience as you sit in your air-conditioned cabin, with three hundred sixty tons of supplies stored safely in the open-box bed behind several inches of German steel, to keep you and your guns fed for years to come.
The Liebherr T 282B: “Because They Can’t Kill What They Can’t Reach!”
(MSRP $3,500,000. Tax, tag, and title fees not included.)