monday search term safari XLV.

i want to jack off with other people

Get yourself elected to Congress, and you can participate in weekly group circle jerks that will be broadcast nationally via C-SPAN.

neo alpha smart limitations

Its main limitation is that it can’t do anything except for text.  If that’s all you want to do, then the Neo is the berries.  If you need to also go on the Intertubes, or waste your writing time with Solitaire or Left 4 Dead, then the Neo is not for you.  Think of it as an electronic, paperless typewriter.

“roger waters” us citizen?

Roger Waters is a citizen of the United Kingdom, which is why I found it more than a little annoying when he was exhorting American concertgoers to vote for a particular candidate for President of the United States.  Can you imagine the uproar if an American musician were to play a gig in the UK, and put up giant balloons in front of the stage that told people to vote for the Tories?  The outrage!  Those arrogant Americans, thinking they can tell people in other countries how to vote!

“price fixing” marx

Karl Marx was a spoiled kid from a well-to-do family.  He lived on inherited money and regularly mooched off his pal Friedrich Engels.  Marx had no experience with factory labor (or labor of any kind), and no clue about economics.  In modern times, he would be one of those annoying upper middle class campus commies running around with a Che Guevara t-shirt, and annoying people with half-baked (but strongly held) opinions on the plutocratic capitalist exploiters of the working class.  The fact that someone thought Marx’s theories to be a solid foundation for a society is simply mind-boggling.  Marx is the last source I’d consult for opinions on “price fixing”.

737 eyebrow

The Boeing 737 has little windows in the upper part of the cockpit that are called “eyebrow windows”.  They’re for improving visibility in turns.  Some pilots find them annoying because they let in sun glare, so they sometimes get covered up with maps or newspapers.

irish penance and military

It’s called an Irish Pennant, and it refers to the little stubs of thread sticking out from clothing.  Irish Pennanting a garment means plucking/cutting off all the loose thread ends.

jacking off no porn

Dude.  Dude.  You’re typing this search term into a web browser.  On a computer.  That’s connected to the Internet.  You know, the largest and most effective delivery mechanism for porn in human history.  Figure it out, or return that computer to the WalMarts, and use the money for a subscription or two of legacy porn, the kind that comes on paper.

what countries have grudges on france

On Earth, nobody cares enough about the French to work themselves up in a lather about the cheese-eating surrender monkeys, as long as they keep their snail grease-coated fingers to themselves, and stay in their wine-soaked reservation between Belgium and Spain.  The sentient amphibians on Capella Ac, however, are going to have a strong word with the French once our civilizations make contact.

potty training word list

That would be “poop”, “pee”, “potty”, and “I’ll break your little fingers if you pee into your new underwear one more time, capisce?”

(I kid, I kid.  We don’t break fingers for such minor offenses around here.  We reserve the finger-breaking for back-talking and failing to line up for morning inspection before grub.)

philadelphia live girls sex booths 2009

Those are far more successful than the dead girls sex booths they had installed in 2008. 

(On a side note, I have no idea what some guys find arousing about strip clubs.  It’s like going to a restaurant where they charge $10 for a bottle of beer and $200 for a meal, and you’re only allowed to look at the food on your plate.)

mel gibson safari adventure 3

I think I know that game.  Is that the one where you start out behind the wheel of a BMW with a .020 BAC, and you have to dodge DUI patrols while shouting increasingly complex antisemitic slurs?

 

Well, that’s it for today, folks!  Tune in again next week, and don’t forget to keep feeding those search terms into The Google, so I have stuff to mine next week.

9 thoughts on “monday search term safari XLV.

  1. TheRock says:

    “I think I know that game. Is that the one where you start out behind the wheel of a BMW with a .020 BAC, and you have to dodge DUI patrols while shouting increasingly complex antisemitic slurs?”

    People looked into my office to see if I was okay after I snorked some cranberry juice…

    TR

  2. Laughingdog says:

    “i want to jack off with other people”

    I’m not sure which is more disturbing: that someone typed that search term, or that it brought them to your blog.

  3. John Gall says:

    HA(superscript 23)!
    (:>)

  4. sigboy40 says:

    On a side note, I have no idea what some guys find arousing about strip clubs. It’s like going to a restaurant where they charge $10 for a bottle of beer and $200 for a meal, and you’re only allowed to look at the food on your plate.)

    I’m no the only one that feels that way? Wow. I have always said that. I can spend that same money in a bar and not go home alone. Although, in a strip club, you might not go home empty handed.

  5. mts says:

    I’ve read your posts, and see no earthly reason that not just one, but two search terms involving “jacking off” landed them to your blog.

    By the way, “jack off with other people” is nothing more than what people now call “hooking up.” If you get your freak on with some stranger for a quickie, what else is it but that? And “jack off no porn” means “a proper finish to a wet dream.” Or what happens after watching some cutie in a bikini bra and denim cutoffs washing her car.

  6. OrangeNeckInNY says:

    ““roger waters” us citizen?”

    Roger Waters moved out of England when they started banning fox hunting over there. Apparently, he was a big participant of that sport. So he packed up his shotguns and moved over here.

    He now lives out on the east end of Long Island in an area locally called “The North Woods.” I can’t confirm that he lives there, but I have it on good authority that he does.

  7. Kristopher says:

    No one has a grudge against France … because every nation on Earth will defeat France at least once.

    Including Trans-Dneister and Nauru.

  8. Windy Wilson says:

    And Nauru will do it with the last two remaining Higgins boats left there in 1945.

    “(On a side note, I have no idea what some guys find arousing about strip clubs. It’s like going to a restaurant where they charge $10 for a bottle of beer and $200 for a meal, and you’re only allowed to look at the food on your plate.)”
    What’s worse, the waiters will taunt you because you can only look at the food.

  9. John says:

    And Marx managed to have children die of malnutrition because he refused to work…

Comments are closed.