monday search term safari XLVII.

navy seals and pirates

The natural enemy of the pirate is the ninja.  Navy SEALs are the closest thing we have to ninjas.  Like ninjas, SEALs are totally sweet, and possess Real Ultimate Power.  (“This one time, a pirate dropped a spoon, and the Navy SEAL flipped out and killed the whole pirate town!”)

navy seals fuck up pirates

That about sums up yesterday’s events off the coast of Somalia.  (I’d so love for the NYT, CNN, or MSNBC to have the balls and run that exact headline.)

want an injection which will make me slim

Looking for the magic weight loss bullet, huh?  Nobody ever wants to hear that it doesn’t exist.  Eat less, eat healthier, and work the fuck out, and you will lose weight.  That’s your radical weight-loss secret from Dr. Munchkin Wrangler.  (That’ll be $199.95.  All major credit cards accepted.)

i have a degree in astrophysics. fuck me

That’s a slightly unusual pick-up line.  I’ll grant you that it’s more original than “Don’t I know you?”, or “Come here often?”, so it may just work on grounds of originality and sheer daring.

commission a custom lightsaber case

Dude….from one geek to another, I suggest you take the money you have saved for that case, and use it to go on a date or something.  Your lightsaber will be just fine in its regular case, the one the movie prop company shipped with it.  Trust me on this: Luke didn’t have a custom case for his lightsaber, either.  A Jedi frowns upon luxuries, and a Sith Lord is just too bad-ass to care about pretty wood and stuff.

summer glau bra

What’s “Things you’ll never touch or lay eyes on personally in this lifetime”?

do they make a hydra shock round in .22

The .22 is a teensy-weensy little bullet.  It doesn’t have room for a big enough hollowpoint to accommodate the HydraShok post, and even if it did, the round wouldn’t expand very much.  (Also, a 20-pack of .22 HydraShoks would likely cost fifty bucks.)

gadget write text days single charge battery

Try months on a single charge.  (That would be the Alphasmart Neo).  Or you could just use pen and paper, which have unlimited battery life.  (Also, you’ll still be able to read your stuff fifty years hence, which is more than can be said for my wife’s college work saved in now-obsolete file formats to now-obsolete Jaz disks.)

color folder labels in xp

No version of Windows has this simple and convenient way of categorizing your files, not eve the latest Windows 7 Beta.  Macs have had that feature since OS7, which came out in the early 1990s.  Somehow, the “colored folders” feature was missed when Microsoft compiled their List of Features To Be Ripped Off MacOS before they put Windows 95 together.

energy drink, brain fuel

It’s called “single malt Scotch”.  It’s the official energy drink and brain fuel of Scotland, land of fierce warriors and inventive engineers.

holster for k frame 3 in barrel

I’m very fond of the DeSantis Speed Scabbard for OWB use, and the Bianchi #3S “Pistol Pocket” for IWB.

thumbtack on door missionary

I don’t care what cosmology you’re peddling–if you put thumbtacks into my door for any reason, you’ll be wearing those thumbtacks on your posterior in short order.

only cops should be allowed to have guns

Think about that for a second.  If that policy had any chance of working…why would cops need guns at all?

the gun is civilization wordpress

What you seek can be found right here.

airsoft m249 convert .22lr

No, you can’t convert your airsoft machine gun to fire real bullets, not even .22 rimfire.  Be glad, because such a conversion would get you ten years in Club Fed for manufacturing an illegal machine gun.  (In federal prison, they don’t have weekly airsoft matches, and you won’t be able to take your XBox360 with you, either.)


This concludes today’s Pirates and Ninjas and Bold Pickup Lines Edition of the MSTS!  Tune in again next week, when we once again comb the blog stats for easy blogging material.


11 thoughts on “monday search term safari XLVII.

  1. Tony says:

    Single malt scotch as an energy drink? Hnn… They might frown upon that at work. Even though I probably would mellow out some if I switched from ED to Ardbeg. 🙂

  2. Farm.Dad says:

    On the .22 lr Hydra Shocks i respectfully point you to a ” home brew ” which is complete with a link to his site where he sells the little tool. Aint the intertubes wonderful?

  3. MarkHB says:

    The .22 MG thing always makes me think of this little beauty:

  4. Tam says:

    summer glau bra

    What’s “Things you’ll never touch or lay eyes on personally in this lifetime”?

    OMG am I glad I hadn’t yet tried swallowing that mouthful of Diet Dew…

  5. perlhaqr says:

    If that policy had any chance of working…why would cops need guns at all?

    Because we’re PC now, and police departments are required to hire officers who would be better suited to being used as models for the “Extremely Petite” line of clothing at Saks.

    And we can’t send a strapping 4’8″ lass of 85 pounds out to handle Bruno without a piece. Of course, if she wasn’t a cop, it’d be totally fair to make her fend off Bruno’s advances without one.

  6. Kristopher says:

    Jaz drive … tristate camera sells the scsi drives for $308 … how badly does she want the data back?

    Thumbtacks: Black tack in the sill means this house is occupied by biker gang/druggies/Texas chain saw murderers. You might want to all consider putting a black thumbtack in the sill yourself.

  7. MarkHB says:

    Syquest drive, *now* you’re hosed.

  8. Mike says:

    Hah. I believe that search for the wordpress version of “The Gun is Civilization” was me. I had to include wordpress or I got your old Blogger site.

  9. Wild Deuce says:

    I have to second Farm.Dad’s recommendation. I have not had a chance to try out the performance of those modified rounds on live game or anything else (gelatin, water, clay, etc.). However, I will say that the accuracy (group size) has improved significantly out of both my .22’s.

  10. I think I have at least one Jaz kicking around here. Free if you want to pay shipping. I’ll dig it out and test it if you are interested.

  11. Andrew says:

    I think I have a Jaz drive, too. How times change!

Comments are closed.