navy seals and pirates
The natural enemy of the pirate is the ninja. Navy SEALs are the closest thing we have to ninjas. Like ninjas, SEALs are totally sweet, and possess Real Ultimate Power. (“This one time, a pirate dropped a spoon, and the Navy SEAL flipped out and killed the whole pirate town!”)
navy seals fuck up pirates
That about sums up yesterday’s events off the coast of Somalia. (I’d so love for the NYT, CNN, or MSNBC to have the balls and run that exact headline.)
want an injection which will make me slim
Looking for the magic weight loss bullet, huh? Nobody ever wants to hear that it doesn’t exist. Eat less, eat healthier, and work the fuck out, and you will lose weight. That’s your radical weight-loss secret from Dr. Munchkin Wrangler. (That’ll be $199.95. All major credit cards accepted.)
i have a degree in astrophysics. fuck me
That’s a slightly unusual pick-up line. I’ll grant you that it’s more original than “Don’t I know you?”, or “Come here often?”, so it may just work on grounds of originality and sheer daring.
commission a custom lightsaber case
Dude….from one geek to another, I suggest you take the money you have saved for that case, and use it to go on a date or something. Your lightsaber will be just fine in its regular case, the one the movie prop company shipped with it. Trust me on this: Luke didn’t have a custom case for his lightsaber, either. A Jedi frowns upon luxuries, and a Sith Lord is just too bad-ass to care about pretty wood and stuff.
summer glau bra
What’s “Things you’ll never touch or lay eyes on personally in this lifetime”?
do they make a hydra shock round in .22
The .22 is a teensy-weensy little bullet. It doesn’t have room for a big enough hollowpoint to accommodate the HydraShok post, and even if it did, the round wouldn’t expand very much. (Also, a 20-pack of .22 HydraShoks would likely cost fifty bucks.)
gadget write text days single charge battery
Try months on a single charge. (That would be the Alphasmart Neo). Or you could just use pen and paper, which have unlimited battery life. (Also, you’ll still be able to read your stuff fifty years hence, which is more than can be said for my wife’s college work saved in now-obsolete file formats to now-obsolete Jaz disks.)
color folder labels in xp
No version of Windows has this simple and convenient way of categorizing your files, not eve the latest Windows 7 Beta. Macs have had that feature since OS7, which came out in the early 1990s. Somehow, the “colored folders” feature was missed when Microsoft compiled their List of Features To Be Ripped Off MacOS before they put Windows 95 together.
energy drink, brain fuel
It’s called “single malt Scotch”. It’s the official energy drink and brain fuel of Scotland, land of fierce warriors and inventive engineers.
holster for k frame 3 in barrel
I’m very fond of the DeSantis Speed Scabbard for OWB use, and the Bianchi #3S “Pistol Pocket” for IWB.
thumbtack on door missionary
I don’t care what cosmology you’re peddling–if you put thumbtacks into my door for any reason, you’ll be wearing those thumbtacks on your posterior in short order.
only cops should be allowed to have guns
Think about that for a second. If that policy had any chance of working…why would cops need guns at all?
the gun is civilization wordpress
What you seek can be found right here.
airsoft m249 convert .22lr
No, you can’t convert your airsoft machine gun to fire real bullets, not even .22 rimfire. Be glad, because such a conversion would get you ten years in Club Fed for manufacturing an illegal machine gun. (In federal prison, they don’t have weekly airsoft matches, and you won’t be able to take your XBox360 with you, either.)
This concludes today’s Pirates and Ninjas and Bold Pickup Lines Edition of the MSTS! Tune in again next week, when we once again comb the blog stats for easy blogging material.