these are not the pirates you are looking for.

Here’s the What The Fuck? story of the month for you.

On March 11, the German Navy frigate FGS Rheinland-Pfalz caught eight Somali pirates in the act of trying to hijack a freighter well out in international waters in the Gulf of Aden.  The pirates were arrested by the Germans, and put in detention on the frigate for transport to Kenya.

While they were on the Rheinland-Pfalz, they were dressed by the German navy, they received special food in line with their Muslim dietary restrictions, they had a private head that was regularly cleaned for them by the German sailors, and they were afforded regular prayer times, in which the frigate’s 1MC announcement system was not used.  The Germans delivered the pirates to Kenya, and turned them over to local authorities for prosecution.

Now one of the pirates is suing the German government for damages.  Apparently, he’s not happy about having been put in a Kenyan jail, where there’s no halal food, and where they have to piss in buckets on the floor.  His Frankfurt-based lawyer is claiming $10,000 in damages caused by the actions of the German navy.  The pirate claims through his lawyer that the Germans stopped two identical boats after the incident–one that was full of pirates (which the Germans let go), and another one with the claimant on board, which had been on the way to Yemen on totally non-piracy related business.

That takes chutzpah to a whole new level, doesn’t it?

7 thoughts on “these are not the pirates you are looking for.

  1. Kristopher says:

    Sevre the Germans right for not applying the proper punishment.

    A captain’s mast hearing, followed by a hanging at sea.

  2. Avenger29 says:

    I was thinking more of chaining some weights to them and letting them take a complimentary tour of Davy Jone’s locker.

  3. Holly says:

    Gosh, there’s got to be something in Islam about “though shalt not steal”–you’d think if they were so observant, really…

  4. mts says:

    they were dressed by the German navy, they received special food in line with their Muslim dietary restrictions, they had a private head that was regularly cleaned for them by the German sailors

    Heck, when I was stationed in Germany, at the end of my tour, I would’ve gotten a rowboat into the Main with an eye patch and sword and growled “arr” at a passing barge, so I could get picked up for piracy and given the Royal Treatment.

    Instead, I have memories of having to talk drunk Bundesvehr dudes out of ass-kicking me and my drunk G.I. buds at whatever volksfest we made a spectacle of ourselves at. If we only knew the “pirate = free pass” angle, we could’ve owned the country.

    p.s.: I’m not busting on your people, I’m busting on the overboard p.c. thing. Having to scrub a prisoner’s toilet – that’s not duty, that’s punishment. How that sailor stood for that, I don’t know.

  5. T.Stahl says:

    First they were afraid of taking the (suspected) pirates to Germany, because they might claim asylum.
    But now they’re getting sued by that scum.
    Damn, next time hoist a red flag and act as was proposed back in 1977, when the Landshut was hijacked.
    Q: “What shall we do in case we take prisoners?”
    A: “You. Are. Taking. Prisoners?”

  6. ChrisB says:

    I wonder when the Germans are going to rediscover their balls. All pirates should be shot and then dumped overboard, seafood futures would become a good investment.

  7. Anonymoose says:

    What should have happened:
    “Damn, all the pirates fell overboard. After shooting themselves. Sorry, we weren’t looking. Too busy preparing their halal food. Gosh we’re sorry about that.”

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