You forgot the umlaut: it’s Yöghund, the designer yogurt for dogs. (Never mind the fact that the umlaut alters the sound of the letter–umlauts look cool, right?)
It always amuses me when people come up with special designer food for dogs. This is a species that will eat random vomit found on the street. Our dogs will occasionally snack on each other’s poop. Trust me, they have very low culinary standards.
yorkshire terrier stupid
Well, just look at the poor little thing. Its eggshell-thin cranium has the capacity of an inverted contact lens. The teensy brain that fits into a Yorkie’s noggin is just big enough to allow for two modes: sleep and paranoid psychosis.
day care why so expensive
What would you consider fair compensation for taking care of someone else’s kid eight hours a day, feeding them, keeping a facility up to regulations, constantly being prepared for unannounced inspections, and paying for the liability insurance necessary to cover your ass against litigious parents who will take you to the cleaners if one hair on their precious snowflake’s head is bent while he’s in your care?
novelists who use fountain pens
A few novelists who are confirmed fountain pen users: Neil Gaiman, Neal Stephenson, Joe Haldeman, Paul Auster, and Stephen King (who wrote at least Hearts in Atlantis with a Waterman). J.K. Rowling wrote all seven Harry Potter books in longhand, but she used a ballpoint pen.
parker 51 + weight
Fully inked, my aerometric “51” weighs 0.777 ounces, or 22.02 grams. (Digital jewelry scales are useful for reloading, and giving very precise answers to obscure weight questions.)
puggle shuts hearing off?
The little shit is just being stubborn. Our dachshunds have the same ability–it’s called “selective deafness”.
cracked snowblower auger shaft
Whoops. I hope you bought the extended warranty when you got that snowblower, because that’s an expensive repair. Ours snapped a few months ago, and the extra $99 for the warranty turned out money well spent, because the repair would have been more than twice as much out of pocket.
Semi-amusing anecdote regarding snowblowers: when we moved to the Northeast, and someone suggested that we’d need a snowblower for our property, Robin envisioned something akin to those hand-held leaf blowers.
German for “armored car”. The pre-1945 term for “tank” was Panzerkampfwagen, which means “armored fighting vehicle”. In German, it’s permissible to string together any number of nouns to form a compound noun, which can make for some hilariously long and complex words at times.
writers and bourbon
This is where I’m supposed to say something like “A writer is a device for converting booze into prose”, but the truth is that I can’t write anything worth a damn when I’ve had something to drink. Writing requires mental acuity, and even one drink will start making your brain all fuzzy. I’ve had to shift my writing time to the evenings once more because the kids now get out of bed before 7am, and as a side effect of that change in schedules, I haven’t had a drink in two months.
Those are done with a special non-coercive vaccine. It politely asks the body whether it would consent to forming antibodies, rather than forcing it to do so.
how long do you charge an alphasmart?
Until it’s fully charged. But seriously–why do you bother using rechargeable batteries in a device that gets a year of battery life out of three AA cells?
That concludes this week’s super-informative edition of the MSTS. Tune in again next week, when I try to find snarkworthy material among the hundreds of searches for Navy SEALs/pirates, New Jersey hookers, jacking off, and Summer Glau’s boobs. (Oh, crap. I just provoked a bunch more of those, didn’t I?)