Now that Chrysler is worker-owned and government-run, we can look forward to curbing capitalist profiteering and consumerist excess by building the cars Americans need (whether they know it or not.)
Maybe after 40 years of central planning and public ownership, Chrysler will be able come up with something comparable to the crown jewel of socialist automotive engineering: a true People’s Car, unencumbered by concessions to profitability, consumer interest, ecological impact, or ease of manufacture.*
I am now taking orders for t-shirts reading “The Government Gave Chrysler $5 Billion Of My Tax Money, And All I Got Was This Stinking Trabant”.
*The Trabant was hideously labor-intensive to manufacture, which was one of the reasons why they kept it around unchanged for over thirty years. You see, it gave more people more work to do for a longer period of time than any two cars made by the capitalist Klassenfeind put together. A labor union’s wet dream, really.