monday search term safari LV.

proper past tense when writing first person

I don’t know about “proper”. Done properly, present tense first person works well, too, because it’s engaging and immediate, and draws the reader right into the action.  (Neal Stephenson’s “Snow Crash”, Chuck Palahniuk’s “Fight Club”, and Nick Hornsby’s “High Fidelity” are all written in First Person Present Tense, and they’re all highly-regarded books.) It is, however, dreadfully easy to bungle.

(The novel I just completed two days ago is written in First Person Present Tense, by the way.)

gun for hunting werewolf

After all the debates on the subject in this spot, and after having watched “No Country For Old Men” for the first time recently, I have to revise my opinion on the best gun for werewolf.  I think a semi-auto shotgun loaded with silver buckshot would be just the ticket for the job.  Lots of short-range ouchies, plenty of stopping power, and casting silver buckshot eliminates the biggest problem with using silver for ammo, which is the sizing of the bullets.

cluttered desk sign of genius

Part of my plans for today is the dumbification of my desk.  Apparently, I’m so damn smart, I can’t find anything in this mess anymore without disturbing elaborately balanced structures made of paper, RAM chips, firearms paraphernalia, memorabilia, trinkets, and medications.

what is the value of a smith and wesson

That’s like asking “What’s the value of a Ford?”

neo laptops battery limitation

The only battery-related limitation of the Neo is the inconvenience of having to change the three AAs after six to twelve months of constant use.

how to write a military novel

Same way you write any other novel: come up with interesting characters, and then confront them with some sort of problem.  The basic novel types and storylines have been the same since the days of quills and parchment, and everything else is just added local or cultural flavor. 

model m without numpads

Those are called “Model M Space Saver”, and like all other funky variants of the Model M, they’re hard to find.  Whenever one makes it onto fleaBay, it manages to command prices just a little less insane than those fetched by the black M13 variants.

nenas hairy armpits

If I ever start an Eighties cover band, that will be the perfect name for it: “Nena’s Hairy Armpits.”

russian special forces belt holster

I don’t know what they use, but the Russians aren’t exactly known for slick gun gear.  Let’s put it this way: “Used By Russian SpecOps” is not exactly a seal of quality I look for when I shop for holsters.  It’s probably big, bulky, and made of black nylon.  (Also, it will be able to hold Western pistols, but our holsters won’t be able to hold their pistols.)

munchkin wrangler fountain pen

I have a whole drawer full at this point, but the main pens in my writing rotation are a Parker “51”, a Lamy 2000, a Pelikan M200, and a Conklin Metropolis, all with fine or extra-fine nibs.


That’s it for this Monday morning.  Tune in again next week when I strip-mine the Blog Stats page for blogging material.  (I’m rather disappointed at the lack of moped-related search terms this week, I have to admit.)

Now back to work, kulaks!  With everyone pitching in, we’ll only need a century or so to dig ourselves out of this trillion-hojilion-bazillion-dollar hole all those bailouts put us in.


15 thoughts on “monday search term safari LV.

  1. theAxe says:

    Sweet! My search made Monday Morning Safari. (fountain pen) Your Parker 51 entry came up first, then there were a number of other blogs that linked to yours. I’ve been looking to get a new one, I lost the Parker 51 my grandmother gave me.

  2. Robert says:

    Re: werewolf buckshot: no casting even necessary, you can buy silver beads in various sizes at most jewelry stores.

  3. Adam says:

    “That’s like asking, ‘What’s the value of a Ford?'”

    So… $15?

  4. Kristopher says:

    Stay away from the Parker Latitude. A waste of $80, to my regret. Poor design and poor feel. Takes forever to get ink to the nib when unused. Not made in the USA, despite the brand name.

    The Waterman I bought for half as much worked better and had a better feel. Bought a second to use at home.

    • Marko says:

      I’m not a big fan of the modern Parkers. The Latitude doesn’t seem to have the best reputation for trouble-free reliability and consistent quality.

      The Phileas is a better pen for half the money, as you’ve found out. The Lamy Safari costs even less, and works even better.

  5. guy says:

    Shooting a werewolf with a shotgun would require the werewolf to be uncomfortable close.

    It’d be major cash, but frag grenades with silver casings and a MK 19 grenade launcher would make me much happier.

  6. Assrot says:

    When can we expect to see your just finished novel on the shelf? I am looking forward to it.

    As a rule I never buy paperbacks but I am willing to make an exception in this case because I believe I might be getting in on the ground floor with a first edition of an author that may reach the level of fame as say Stephen King, Terry Brooks, or even Robert Heinlein.

    No, I’m not kissing your behind. I enjoy your writing and I believe you have great potential. I am by no means a literary expert but having a library that includes 2000+ books in my house all of which I have read (some several times) and collected during my lifetime, I’d venture to say I am a good audience.


  7. MarkHB says:

    Without wishing to be a dick, isn’t Snowcrash *third* person present tense?

  8. Tam says:

    Most people consider A Midnight Clear to be a pretty damned fine book, and it’s written in first-person present tense.

  9. OrangeNeckInNY says:

    Someone actually Googled “munchkin wrangler fountain pen??”

  10. MarkHB says:

    Maybe someone thought a rinky-dink, itty bitty water-cannon would help keep their kids in line, OrangeNeck?

  11. theAxe says:

    I’ve been reading Marko’s blog a while, I knew what I was looking for but I didn’t feel like digging through older posts for a half hour.

  12. Bill Johnson says:

    The russian special forces belt holster comes from watching that show pitting two different ‘warriors’ and their weapons in a showdown. The Spetznaz have a neat holster that you don’t draw from, but push the gun down through, which racks the slide and presents a ready-to-fire single-action weapon.

    I ca see why someone might want to have one, but I’m not sure enought of us have Makarovs…

    and get the kid a toy gun, fer gosh sakes. make it one of those replicas – then you can train him ‘from the cradle’ 🙂

  13. SgtStu says:

    “Nenas’ Hairy Armpits”….priceless. I was in Korea in ’83 when the song came out and liked it; then, in @ 1997, while in the garage listening to an 80’s radio show, I heard the intro and thought, cool, Nena!, she started singing in English! What the hey!? I’d only ever heard it in German!

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