canada day.

Happy Canada Day to our neighbors to the north!  (And they are quite literally our neighbors up here—NH shares a border with Quebec , and you can get poutine in a lot of places here in the Live Free Or Die State.) 

What, I ask you, is the proper protocol to observe for Canada Day?  Is one expected to throw a beaver on the grill? Ride a zamboni to work?  Run around with only a strategically placed maple leaf for clothing?  Drink a case of Molson Ice while listening to Anne Murray?  I don’t want to be culturally ignorant, so enlighten me, dear current or former Canadians.

(In exchange, I offer the proper ritual for observing our Fourth of July, which involves charring tasty animals on the grill while trying to balance the fine beer-consumption level where you’re comfortably sloshed, yet not so drunk that you blow off a limb with the obligatory fireworks.)

18 thoughts on “canada day.

  1. Matt says:

    We set off fireworks, drink Labatt’s or Molson and wave flags. Proper protocol is “Happy Canada Day!” followed by a barbecue. Flag waving is permitted but not as insane as it is here on the 4th. Drunkeness is a national pastime on this. We don’t really have any Canada-specific orchestral pieces to play with our controlled explosion displays so the usual standbys work well.

    It’s pretty laid back in fitting with our culture. Understand that we just had Victoria Day a little over a month ago (a.k.a the May Two-Four weekend, Canada’s opening of summer and the first exodus to the beach or cottage country) so we’re just getting over from the hangover from that. Also the other holiday in Canada where fireworks are set off.

    Never tried the Beaver-on-the-Barbie. Don’t know if grilled beaver goes with A1.

  2. Justin Buist says:

    I’ll never understand why poutine hasn’t caught on across the whole US. That’s some good stuff.

  3. I thought Canada Day was when the Avro Arrow (which is sort of like the Twelfth Imam, but with better time-to-altitude performance) was screwed to a cross with robertson screws. And someday it will return from its tropical vacation in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where it has never yet parked legally or used its f*****g turn signal.

    • Tam says:

      I just had to say that this comment was the funniest goddam thing I’ve read on the intertubes in the last 48 hours. Thank you.

  4. KC says:

    Run the Red Ensign up the flag pole and play “The Maple Leaf Forever” because it’s still Dominion Day to me.

  5. Kristopher says:

    Drink Canada Club out of sports bottles, while shooting across the border at Canukistanis with a potato gun.

    If the NH cops show up, offer them free booze and shots with the spudgun.

    • Louise Townsend says:

      Love it! and the idea of using a spud gun!
      haven’t shot one of thoses since leaving my last job which included some crazy ass engineers.
      Thanks for the memories……

  6. Sigivald says:

    Maple shots.

  7. Jim Sullivan says:

    “We don’t really have any Canada-specific orchestral pieces to play with our controlled explosion displays so the usual standbys work well.”

    Neither does the United States. We stole Russia’s specific (if the 4th of July were to matter to them) orchestral piece.

  8. og says:

    Sing the royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen song.

  9. Cardinal says:

    Here in Detroit, we have a Freedom Festival and kind of share the common holidays that are 2 days apart. Fireworks along the river for both sides to see (and pay for).

  10. Anthony L. says:

    With all this rain, the Molson Ice / Anne Murray option as a suicide solution seems the way to go…

  11. Blackwing1 says:

    You did know that there are only three letters used when spelling “Canada”, right?

    “C”, eh?
    “N”, eh?
    “D”, eh?

  12. Assrot says:

    I’d venture that the proper way to celebrate “Canada Day” would be to surrender all your guns and all your rights to the government and go club a baby harp seal and skin it alive.

    You could make a winter coat and a meal. That’s being self sufficient right?

    But then I guess that would be stereotyping everyone for the actions of a few. My question is, how few does it take to pass the laws to take your guns thereby forcing you to beat an animal senseless and skin it alive (no gun for a clean kill right?) and then making you surrender your civil rights?

    They do have that free healthcare going for them thought. I guess that’s a plus.

    Let the spittle fly and the hand waving begin.

    Joe

    • Marko says:

      I’m pretty sure gun ownership is kinda-sorta legal in Canada, Joe. It’s just a lot more of a pain in the ass to get one.

      • freeca says:

        And our ‘free’ healthcare costs about twice as much as your does, and we pay for it now, and we get to use it in a couple of years if we’re lucky.

        Ian

  13. fezzigbell says:

    Wow, bitter.
    Obviously Assrot neglected to purchase traveler’s health insurance the last time he/she went to his/her closest cdn border town and ended up getting shafted in the emergency room after he/she tried open a can of Canada Dry with his/her handgun.
    We don’t have the whole ‘right to bear arms’ up here, we don’t need feel the need to protect ourselves with firearms when we leave the house.

Comments are closed.