an exercise in shameless corpse-whoring.

In a brazen attempt to get a few more miles out of their dead steed, Jacko’s concert promoter and his family are in negotiations for a three-city tour of Michael Jackson memorabilia.

They’re not just milking the poor guy’s corpse, they’re juicing the hell out of it.  Why not go all the way and cart around his dead body? Maybe put some hair and fingernail clippings up on eBay, like some 21st Century version of holy relics?

The really sad part, of course, is the fact that there are enough people out there willing to shell out fifty or a hundred bucks to go see a dead guy’s things.  Yeah, the Presley estate has been raking it in at Graceland for the last thirty-odd years, but at least in that case you get to tour the King’s house, the place where he enjoyed fried PB&B sammiches and shot at televisions with his .44.  In Jacko’s case, they’re looking to throw some of his junk onto a truck, and drive his empty clothes out to a stadium somewhere, so the suckers can fork over all the sweet, sweet ticket money they would have shelled out for the comeback tour. 

Prediction: it won’t be another six months before there’s a fire sale of Michael Jackson memorabilia by his estate.  And once the fedoras and glittery gloves are gone, watch for the “Last roll of T.P. that was in the King of Pop’s bathroom when he died!!  Certified genuine!”…

…and some sucker will buy it, too.


18 thoughts on “an exercise in shameless corpse-whoring.

  1. John says:

    “…drive his empty clothes out to a stadium somewhere, so the suckers can fork over all the sweet, sweet ticket money they would have shelled out for the comeback tour.”

    Joe Jackson saw the ‘Elvis Coat Show’ Saturday Night Live skit and thought “Why not?”

  2. MarkHB says:

    Adventures on Planet Stupid will continue after these messages from our sponsors.


  3. Rey B says:

    Bring out your dead!

  4. perlhaqr says:

    No way! They’ll hire an MJ sing-alike to wear the clothes and give a tour, first.

  5. Kristopher says:

    If they really wanted to make money, they would start a church/cult.

  6. scotaku says:

    Interestingly enough, I have an image of MJ in an Oreo – I’m not saying which part – and I will forward this cookie on to the tour if it will help raise money for… um… the something something charities.

  7. John Stephens says:

    King Tut…

  8. Shootin' Buddy says:

    A stadium tour would be a more acceptable alternative to a trip to Gary, Indiana.

    I can hear the radio ads now:

    “Come to downtown Gary. See the world’s largest rat. See the garbage and medical waste on our beaches. See the Houses of Squalor and Broken Glass Gardens.

    But wait, that’s not all . . . come see some poor dead guy’s clothing and house where he used to live 40 some years ago.”

  9. Jay says:

    Hate to break it to you Marko but it appears you’ve been Squirrelized…

  10. Dennis says:

    What’s so funny? How can this be humorous? When we live in a country, a society where our leaders get their positions of power as a result of a democratic voting process, where every citizen has the right to vote, and thanks to the “dumbing of America” the majority of the people are now certifiable idiots, crazy loons who elect crappmasters to office; and crave as their celebrities… a bonafide pervert, child molester, freak of nature. This is an endightment on the American Society, and it makes me sad. How far, we have fallen!!

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