I am not Presidential material. Not that I could become President even if I wanted, since I’m not a natural-born citizen, but even if the pesky eligibility question were resolved via the Schwarzenegger Amendment of 2012, I’d not run if nominated, and refuse to serve if elected.
How do I know I don’t have what it takes? Well, on days like today, I’m cranky enough to nuke a bitch if given access to the Red Button.
Seriously: if I were President at this very moment, and Mahmoud Acnefacejihad called up and gave me some lip about the Jooz and the Great Satan and what-the-fuck-ever, I’d probably just snap like a stale pretzel and be all like, “Tell you what, Mahmoud, old buddy. Since you want those nukes so badly, I’ll let you have a few. In fact, I just sent twenty megatons your way. You should receive them shortly.”
I’m just a little off the rails today. Maybe it’s the polarization of viewpoints online that has crept into every damn corner of my virtual hang-outs, or the continued mental strain that comes from having friends both in the conservative, gun-owning community, and the liberal publishing industry.
Here’s the thing: some of my friends are gun-owning small-government types. Some of my friends are liberal writers or publishers. The kicker is that none of them—of either political leaning—are idiots, or bad people, or heartless pricks, or racists, or out to destroy America. They’re all generous, friendly, intelligent folks, regardless of political persuasion, and I wouldn’t consider them my friends if they weren’t. I have my disagreements with my liberal friends and my conservative friends alike, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be my friends.
I have much common ground with both, try to reconcile and mitigate the “all or nothing” arguments coming from both sides, and end up feeling like I don’t belong anywhere. I find that I have to censor myself based on the venue, just so I’m not written off as a liberal/conservative kook, when in reality I am neither liberal nor conservative. I end up having to watch my mouth all the time, regardless of where I mingle, and it feels like I’m not being true to myself.
Maybe I should just get off this Intertubes thingie for a few days, and take a bunch of long walks, or something. Right now, I don’t want to be bombarded with fifteen ZOMG TEH WURLD IZ ENDING political video clips and polls just because I want to check some friends’ statuses on Facebook, or have to wade through a dozen forwarded “We’re so right/They’re so wrong!!!1!ELEVENTY!!” emails when I check my messages.
So, yeah. I’m a bit fed up with it all at the moment, and when the fed-up-ness spills over into my offline life, it’s high time to turn off the computer and go pet a puppy. I think I’ll cut back on the political commentary for a while, and focus on stuff that’s a bit less dangerous to the ol’ blood pressure.