How you probably didn’t spend your morning:
You probably didn’t let the dogs out at 5AM to have them encounter a raccoon in the enclosed porch. Your dogs probably didn’t proceed to go into full Mortal Kombat mode, and they probably didn’t engage in an all-out fight that took them from the porch out into the yard. You probably didn’t try to pry four dachshunds off a screaming raccoon while trying not to get bitten in the process. You probably didn’t finally pry the dogs off the poor raccoon long enough to end the fight with two rounds of .38 Special*, and you didn’t spend a half hour afterward with the patching up of puncture wounds and claw scratches.
Of course, that also means you won’t have to go out to the vet this morning with four dogs in tow, for emergency rabies booster shots.
If dachshunds could talk, they’d talk of this day for the next few years as “that time when we cornered that raccoon and totally brought it down like the bitch it was.” We adult human members of the household will remember it in a slightly less glowing light, considering the inconvenience of having to pay an unexpected vet tab for four dogs, and having to call Fish & Wildlife.
Ah, rural life. Should have remembered to check the enclosed porch for raccoons. Still, could have been worse—could have been a skunk, or a fisher cat…or a black bear.
*(To pre-empt the “Why’d you have to shoot the poor little thing?” comments: it was badly injured, killing it was the only way to get the dogs to stop tearing into it, and if it had scampered off in its state, it would have most likely died anyway. Also, an absent raccoon can’t be checked for rabies. Trust me, I didn’t enjoy shooting the little bugger, and I would have just as soon let him be on his way.)
UPDATE: Autopsy pics after the cut. Not particularly gruesome, but do not click if you don’t like the sight of dead animals.
For those who have asked: two .38 Special +P LSWCHP, from a three-inch Smith. One center mass, one behind the ear. Mr Raccoon expired on the spot.