tuesday search term safari I.

robin hood bedtime stories

I’d like to riff on the whole Libertarian bedtime story them some more and tell you that our version has the filthy little brigand caught and executed, and Maid Marian presented with his head after he’s been drawn and quartered as an example to the people of Nottingham…but the truth is that we here at Castle Frostbite have a soft spot for the Disney version, so Robin Hood remains unaltered at bedtime.

what was col jeff cooper’s personal sidearm

I don’t know the precise variant, but I am reasonably sure that the late Colonel Cooper carried a 1911, ‘cause that’s what God carries.

summer glau getting fucked

That would be number three on the list of “Events You Won’t Ever Attend Personally”, right after “Receiving a Ph.D.”, and “Scoring a job that doesn’t require a polyester uniform and name tag”.

mandatory sterilization of retards

The people who actually favor eugenics should be at the front of the line for mandatory sterilization, because it’s a completely retarded idea, and immoral to boot.

youtube carl orff’s carmina burana conan

Inasmuch as Basil Poledouris’ soundtrack for Conan is heavily influenced by Carmina Burana, I’d say that half the trailers for action movies would have no music in them if it wasn’t for Carl Orff.

canned haggis

In the U.S., you can get canned haggis from Caledonian Kitchen, and it’s delicious.  We’re getting ready to order a case of their new lamb haggis.

will gin hurt my kidneys

Any alcohol will put your kidneys to work, and any alcohol consumed to excess will hurt them.  The key here is moderation.

Ah, gin.  Robin says it’s “like licking a fucking pine tree”.  CrankyProf calls it “liquid Christmas”.  It’s not my favorite liquor in the world, but a nice and proper Martini is a good thing on occasion…for example, while changing diapers, or doing the monthly bulk shopping at BJ’s.

private motorcar porn

My crystal ball tells me that “private motorcar porn” will be the third most popular fetish in the brave new world of 2020, when the Dear Leader, President for Life  and Chairman of the Revolutionary Struggle has outlawed the private possession of combustion engines and personal transportation devices that aren’t muscle-powered.  People will clandestinely download pictures of fully-clothed individuals behind the wheel of a Porsche or Corvette, and the ecologically sensitive, properly educated part of the population will regard that fetish as more despicable than child porn.

how to conceal a sword

Don’t.  Just don’t.  Even if you could, and even if you used it in a  case of legitimate self-defense, you’d give an overzealous prosecutor the chance to score an easy one by making you look like a complete nutcase.


That’s the emergency Tuesday issue of the MSTS.  No wonder Tuesday feels like Monday today.  On the plus side, the weekend is a day closer.


39 thoughts on “tuesday search term safari I.

  1. BobG says:

    “Ah, gin. Robin says it’s “like licking a fucking pine tree”. ”

    I agree; the only time I can imagine drinking it is when I have some kerosene handy as a chaser to get rid of the aftertaste.

  2. Rusty P Bucket says:

    Retards that can’t be responsible guardians or care for a child properly should be sterilized.

    Unless you are going to care for their children on your dime perhaps?

    • Tam says:

      Retards that can’t be responsible guardians or care for a child properly should be sterilized.

      Judging by the available evidence, we’ll put you down as in favor of sterilizing three quarters of the population of North America, then?

      • Marko Kloos says:

        Also interesting–the same government that can’t be trusted to regulate guns should be in charge of determining who makes the cut-off for getting their tubes tied or wires clipped.

        ‘Cause, you know, that policy would be enforced fairly and even-handedly by the Rusty P. Buckets of the world.

        • Kristopher says:

          Ermm … Marko … your statement about mandatory sterilization of people who favor mandatory sterilization might put you in that line as well.

    • T.Stahl says:

      On this day, seventy years ago, the Nazis started their euthanasia program. Apparently the womb is still fertile…

  3. Eric says:

    According to Michael Bane, Jeff Cooper’s personal 1911 was “a lightweight Commander (in, duh, .45 ACP!) with S&W revolver sights.” The quote is taken from Michael’s blog entry on 10/25/2005.

    I do recall an episode of Shooting Gallery in which MB shot that 1911 and I remember the sights were not your typical 1911 sights.

  4. Blackwing1 says:

    Well, drinking gin might be…“like licking a fucking pine tree”, but it’s the aftereffect that counts. Because, after all, everyone knows:

    “The wages of gin are breath.”

  5. MarkHB says:

    That, Blackwing1, is freaking apalling. My head throbbily hurts having ingested that pun, with my eyes.

    I will therefore be plagiarising you at the earliest opportunity.

    Regarding mandatory sterilisation… ick. Just… ick.

  6. scotaku says:

    I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Summer Glau get (ahem) intercoursed twice… once when they canceled Firefly, and the second time when they canceled Sarah Connor Chronicles.

    Or was it me who got it those two times? I swear, I read the dosage requirements.

  7. Holly says:

    What happened to just searching for celebrities naked? Now they’re getting greedy.

  8. Gregg says:

    How to conceal a sword:


    Once upon a time they had videos of a nekkid woman wearing one of these and it was well concealed, and not just in the standard guys being unable to see anything other than the nekkid woman way.

  9. ravenshrike says:

    I don’t see why libertarians would particularly care about Robin Hood, as he merely ripped off a bunch of monarchists, and usurping ones at that.

    • perlhaqr says:

      This. You just have to say it right.

      “Stealing from the rich to give to the poor” == “Karl Marx”.

      “Stealing from tax collectors to return to tax payers” == “totally fucking awesome”.

  10. Isaiah Kellogg says:

    Heck, I’m 8 months from getting my PhD, and I don’t have to wear a polyester uniform to teach or to make holsters. I’ve got hope yet.

  11. Isaiah Kellogg says:

    Oh, also, what’s wrong with a rugged individualist stealing money from an illegitimate government and giving it back to the people who earned it, and from whom it was originally stolen by said illegitimate government?

  12. RevolverRob says:

    I love Gin. Broker’s Gin, with good tonic, and a whole lime squeezed in. Mix it straight up half and half for the important things in life you want to forget, or mix it 2/3rds tonic, 1/3 gin, for the things in life you only want to temporarily forget.

    Ah yes, the ban on personal automobiles. When they ban V8s, I’ll really be an outlaw, because chances are they’ll have banned firearms first. I’ll still be driving around in my ancient Mercury and carrying my gun. It’ll be Rebel with a Cause?

    That was bad…


  13. perlhaqr says:

    The people who actually favor eugenics should be at the front of the line for mandatory sterilization, because it’s a completely retarded idea, and immoral to boot.

    Wait, you mean I get to advocate for stupid people not breeding, and a free vasectomy?!? SWEET!

  14. Rusty P Bucket says:

    That’s the problem staying at home with kids and doing women’s work Munchkin. You begin to think like one.

    And act like one, when that libertarian hogwash doesn’t work anymore.

    I know, I know…go bug the librarian right? I’ll tell her you sent me…

    • Marko Kloos says:

      The problem with you, Rusty, is that you don’t think at all.

      You’re just as driven by emotion as the Liberals you despise. It’s just a different set of emotions, and a different way to rationalize them.

    • Tam says:

      Let me see if I have this straight: The flaccid tool who talks smack behind a pseudonym on the intertubes is lecturing the former paratrooper on virility?

      Wow. Irony, thy (screen)name is Rusty.

      • Weer'd Beard says:

        Not to mention a scary-good shot with everything I’ve seen him line the sights up on.

        I’m here at work (odd, most of my coworkers are women….who said bitches could be scientists!!??!! *snark*) and I’m a big bearded man, and I’ll say I ain’t got nothing on Marko.

  15. TCK says:

    Would an openly carried sword count? What if you live in a state with virtually no regulation of openly carried non-firearm weapons?

  16. Dan says:

    Gin, try “licking a fucking JUNIPER tree.” Not pine. Also, delicious.

  17. Rusty P Bucket says:

    You missed by a mile Tam.

    They got viagri for guys like me now! Maybe you and I can get together once I load up? When that doesn’t work we go to homes with straight jackets and the nice fellas dressed in white uniforms help wrestle us into our cells at night Ha ha!

    I am a former father lecturing a stay at home dad (from the sounds of it) – about responsible parenting – something you obviously know little about! Being able to feed and fend for your kids is kind of a requirement for parenting. I woulda thunk this was ‘intuitively obvious’. Are you saying it isn’t, Munchkin?

    This is why I have no respect for libertarians. Out in the real world emotion is part of the decision making process. It has to be. The last Germans I saw that removed all emotion from their decision making and relied on illogical ideologies had to be run out of town on a rail – and they set europe on fire before they left.

    I may be slow, Marko, but I do indeed think. Were I you, I would picture your little ones – with a retard for a parent instead of you and the missus. Personalize it, and empathise…how would the munchkins make out if they had retards for parents? Let’s remove the emotion as you suggest: with retards for parents the kids probably wouldn’t eat right or be clean. They would have nobody to relate to for problems at school except the unionized pooch screwers that pass for teachers these days – and they don’t give a chit about kids. they probably wouldn’t be dressed right in the winter neither.

    Marko – what possible good can come from any of that? Does anyone benefit?

    Sometimes those liberal a-holes are right I guess.

    • Caleb says:

      Generally, if a parent is adjudicated mentally retarded, the state takes their kids. Your hypothetical situation is lacking.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      There are lots of mentally handicapped people who can clothe and feed their kids, and many non-retarded people who can’t.

      Who decides who gets sterilized, and what standard gets applied?

      • Kristopher says:

        I get to make that decision.

        This is intuitively obvious, after all.

        As libertarian dictator, I think all of Rusty’s and Obama’s ilk should be sterilized, then converted into biodiesel to feed libertarian SUVs.

        After all … someone has to make the sterilize/not-sterilized decision, and I find no one better suited to make such a decision than myself.

        I’ve got my instruments ready Rusty … please report to me for mandatory sterilization, so that your past mistakes cannot be repeated.

        It’s for the children.

    • LabRat says:

      So, we should entirely remove the question of what the existing state of law and care for people who are judged incompetent is, which does not leave children in their care… let our lower lips wobble as we picture our hapless offspring in the hands of SOME RETARD… and let that knee jerk merrily to the righteous conclusion that we should have the state sterilize everyone deemed somehow insufficient.

      I kind of like having Rusty around in a perverse way, just because it’s kind of funny having someone around who believes the twentieth century was a mistake and should be repealed.

    • Tam says:

      I’d argue back, Rusty, but you continue doing the heavy lifting for me.

      By all means, carry on. I only wish that the Obama administration had spokesmen as deft as you…

  18. Rusty P. Bucket says:

    If I thought you were capable of heavy lifting Tam, I would happily leave you to it! And in case yo u haven’t noticed, gals like you have done far more for the Buckwheat Administration than I.

    Marko, tell me how you define a ‘retard’? If you call PMSing spinsters, cranky constipated old geezers or libertarians ‘retards’ I would agree with you.

    If we are talking about institutionalized retards that need care themselves, I am right.

    • Kristopher says:

      Gee … I didn’t know the Obambi admin was full of intelligent tall blond female libertarian competition shooters.

      You learn something new every day on the internets.

  19. Montag says:

    The Greek wine Retsina is licking a pine tree.
    Gin is Juniper berries.

    Juniper is nastier any day.

  20. TCK says:

    “Get a sword that conceals itself as a walking stick or cane.”

    I would, but in Oregon I’m pretty sure sword-canes are considered illegally concealed bladed weapons (since it’s a sword “concealed” by being made to look like something that isn’t a sword). If anyone knows of a an AG or court ruling that says otherwise, I’d love to hear it.

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