what a waste of a perfectly good python.

Finally, someone comes up with a shoe that’s uglier than Crocs and Ugg boots put together.

It’s always been a mystery to me why do some women pay obscene amounts of money to walk around on the tips of their toes in cruel torture devices, but now there’s a pair that can add mental anguish to the physical pain—the gales of laughter coming from the rest of humanity.

Honestly: why not just stick dead armadillos on your feet instead?  It’ll be just as fugly, but more comfortable, and a lot easier on the wallet.

16 thoughts on “what a waste of a perfectly good python.

  1. perlhaqr says:

    Wow. I’m amazed. Looking at those shoes is making me quite literally ill to my stomach for some reason. Which is weird, because I can watch all those surgery shows on TV without problems.

    But yeah, holy fuck, those are some ugly ass shoes.

    I’m really amused at the thought of the armadillo version. Which would, of course, need to be called “The Texan”.

  2. W.Richards says:

    It reminds me of cow hoofs…..

  3. Lissa says:

    I think they’re supposed to look a bit like camel hooves.

    And yeah, I wear stilettos with the best of ’em and I can’t IMAGINE strapping those ugly-ass clodhoppers onto my feet.

  4. The designer of those shoes has to be a woman-hating retard.

  5. LabRat says:

    Ever seen the Metalocalypse episode “Dethfashion”? It opens with a runway walk of the most brutal (to the wearer) fashion. I think their idea of shoes was actually less punishing.

  6. joated says:

    “…and a lot easier on the wallet.”

    No. No it would not be easier on the wallet. As soon as dead armadillos came into vogue, the price would skyrocket, someone would make it illegal to kill your own armadillos, and women would still buy the ridiculously priced footwear just to be in fashion.

    Thank goodness I’m a guy. Two pair. One black. One brown. (And maybe some sneakers and moccasins, too.) Just don’t ask about boots! Hunting, fishing, work, hiking, etc.

  7. williamthecoroner says:

    These are one of a subset of shoes known in the kink community as “ballet shoes” or “ballet boots”. They (I think) originally came from the fertile (?) imagination of the British fetish artist John Willie, and someone actually made them.

    I don’t think the point is to actually walk in the damn things, but to take the high heel to it’s fetishized extreme. As here: http://www.extremeheels.co.uk/extremeballetboots.html

    But, bottom line, these aren’shoes, they’re costumes. It makes slightly more sense that way.

  8. Tam says:

    My current pair of 5.11 side-zip door-kickers are nearing the end of their life cycle.

    Time to buy another pair of 5.11 side-zip door-kickers.

  9. Sarah says:

    Please, would whoever’s in charge of telling the ignorant masses what to wear say, “Armadillo shoes are in right now”? I live out in the sticks here in Texas with a .22 rifle – I’m gonna be SO FREAKING RICH if half the free world suddenly wants armadillo carcasses.

  10. vinnie says:

    OK, A clear signal that any ‘uncomfortable or humiliating’ thing that i have in mind for later are going to be well received. Not my thing but good to know.

  11. Kristopher says:

    Now building a Colt Python into a stiletto heel might be cool … especially if it can be fired.

  12. Ben C says:

    For that kind of money, you would at least think they would have matched the patterns in the skin across the seams. Makes the ridiculous look cheap and tacky too.

  13. karrde says:

    What, they used the Python Language to make a pair of shoes?

    Oh, never mind. They used snakeskin to make something butt-ugly and call it footwear.

  14. Brian Dale says:

    Somebody mistook Steve Martin’s Cruel Shoes for a design manual.

  15. Louise Townsend says:

    ugly ass conspicuous consumption!
    maybe the designer gets a kickback from the Podiatry Association?
    Where is PETA on this python skin usage?
    That should be fun……….
    “Hippies………Please!”

  16. O Bloody Hell says:

    I believe this falls into the “Let’s see if we can be insanely ridiculous, yet have the fashion critics fall all over us trying to demonstrate which one has their head furthest up their rectum?” category.

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