monday search term safari LXXV.

my mind my body my choice

Without wanting to touch the middle rail that is the abortion debate (and please don’t kick that one off in the Comments), one of the many things that amaze me is the significant overlap between the “My Body, My Choice” crowd, and the folks who think we should tax fast food out the wazoo and ban smoking…and that carrying a gun to protect the body’s physical integrity is a Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Thing.

what shotgun rounds to use on a werewolf

You use “Wunderbar Werenwolf” shells, manufactured by the German company Potzblitz & Kaputtmacher, which is based in the Black Forest and run by industrious Teutonic gnomes.  Wunderbar Werenwolf shells are hand-crafted from the finest sterling silver, blessed by the Pope, quenched with the blood of unicorns, and packaged in finely-carved bloodwood boxes.  They’re also entirely fictional, which is OK, because so are werewolves.

piccadilly notebooks

Those are knock-offs of the popular Moleskine notebook, the one with the black oilcloth cover and the rubber band to hold it shut.  Piccadillys look and work the same as Moles, but cost less than half as much.  I have a pretty extensive stash in case Borders decides to stop stocking them, and the first draft of the current novel is being written in a large Piccadilly.  So far, it has survived several months of being used daily (and getting hauled to coffeeshops weekly) without showing any wear or defects.

knife skipper

You know those localized versions of Barbie they adjust to local cultural sensibilities?  Well, Knife Skipper is the Skipper they sell in Brooklyn and Newark.

i slapped a kid and his family threatened me

Well, what the hell kind of response did you expect?  Most people get very protective when it comes to their offspring.  You can count yourself very lucky they only threatened you.  I know if you had slapped one of my kids, you would have been looking down the muzzle of a gun.  (And if their mother was in charge of them at the time, your search term would have included the phrase “traumatic amputation”.)

dad toughest job ever t-shirt

I don’t know about “toughest job ever”.  I don’t have to dodge IEDs, get shot at, or pilot a helicopter to ferry troops into  Afghanistan’s mountains.  That said, the job of the stay-at-home Dad is definitely no cakewalk, and anyone who says that stay-at-home parents “have no real job” need to be put in charge of two preschool kids full-time for a month. 

"setting the margins" typewriter

Most manual typewriters have a mechanism to adjust the page margins.  It can be as simple as “Set/Clear” buttons next to the spacebar like on some Olympias, or it may require you to flip up a cover at the back of the carriage and set a pair of little sliders by hand.

lamy 2000 novel writing pen

That’s what Neil Gaiman called his Lamy 2000 once.  From what I can tell, he wrote “American Gods” and “The Graveyard Book” at least partially with the Lamy.  It’s a very comfortable pen with a very smooth nib, and one of my favorites.  My only gripe with it is that even the extra-fine nib doesn’t produce a fine enough line for my preferences.  (I may send mine off to a nibmeister to have the point reground to a true extra-fine.)  Other than that, however, it’s an outstanding design, and the most bang for the buck by far in the $100 price bracket.

a day in the life of quinn

You know those Calvin & Hobbes cartoons, the best comic strip in the history of comic strips?  Those are looking more and more like a prescient documentary to me. 

guy holding chrome glock

Glocks don’t come in chrome.  You can get one chromed by a refinishing shop, but that would be like putting sparkly metallic paint on a Humvee.  It is, however, my understanding that “Glock” is now a generic catch-all term for “handgun” in some circles, because the word sounds cool in rap songs.

it is not rape if you deserve it

If you live by that maxim, I can only hope that you get arrested and thrown into jail as a rapist one day, which will be the karmically correct way to have that disgusting little piece of wisdom backfire on you.


After a week-long hiatus due to lack of original search terms, the MSTS is back!  Be sure to feed appropriate and original search terms into the Searcholator, so I’ll have ammo for next week.  Now get back to work, cubicle-dwellers!


11 thoughts on “monday search term safari LXXV.

  1. fastbike says:

    “Sparkly metallic paint on a Humvee”, you haven’t been to the DFW metroplex lately, have you? I’m also guessing you can find those beasts prowling BeanTown as well.

  2. In the US of A, it is the “third rail”, not the “middle rail”.

  3. Al T. says:

    Dog, it’s geee-lock according to the urban kids around here. Apparently, geee-lock is any black “square-ish” pistol as well, regardless of origin. Round guns (revolvers) are “Smit and Westerns”… 🙂

    “thrown into jail with a rapist soon” – hate to mess with perfection, but I think that reads better.

  4. I’d rather rape boy end up dead than in jail, on the basis that dead rape boy hopefully got that way before committing the act.

  5. Tam says:

    All in all, I do prefer dead attempted rapists to incarcerated successful ones.

  6. I read that completely differently. To me it sounds more like a victim doing the search because that’s what she’s been lead to believe. That she “deserved” it somehow. Which is VERY sad.

    • Holly says:

      I figure (or just really hope) it’s some “edgy” teenager looking for a way to make the edgiest rape joke that ever edged. Oooh, how about if you raped a dead baby that deserved it? EDGIER!

  7. chris says:

    werewolfs aren’t real? dam….


  8. Laughingdog says:

    Hey, the werewolf one could be a legitimate question from an up-and-coming author. Just because you’re putting werewolves in a story doesn’t mean you have to also pretend that you can actually cast silver bullets.

  9. HansW says:

    > (And if their mother was in charge of them at the time, your search term would have included the phrase “traumatic amputation”) <

    . . . . always assuming that the prospective amputee did not react equally immoderately by brandishing HIS artillery in HER face thus prompting you to come racing up mit Panzerwagen hell-bent on WWIII!

    Surely a quick, unobtrusive hacking of the slapper's shins, followed by profusely insincere apologies for your clumsiness would have been a course of action calculated to be less likely to bring us legal firearm owners into yet further disrepute?

    (To avoid clogging your blog my views on this issue are more fully set out elsewhere.)

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