a dreadful and terrible choice.

I’m off to town for a few hours of reprieve from the Great Toy Wars of 2009.  While I’m gone, I have a little poll for you:

If you had to give up either alcohol or meat for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

(If you pick alcohol, you have to be a teetotaler–nothing fermented or distilled. No beer, wine, or liquor.  If you pick meat, you can’t have beef, pork, or chicken.  Fish is OK.)

39 thoughts on “a dreadful and terrible choice.

  1. scotaku says:

    Interesting poll. It read to me like: “If you had to give up blood or oxygen…”

    • Shrimp says:

      Yeah, that was kind of how I read it too.

      I didn’t really see any answer that fit my mindset–Namely, who is making me give up either meat or alcohol, and just how far do they want to push me? Keep in mind that I’m armed, and really cranky if I can’t have a good steak or a single malt scotch when I want one.

      Yeah, I’d vote for that one.

  2. Tam says:

    What kind of question is that?

    I don’t ask you questions like “If you had to give one of your kids to a pack of itinerant circus geeks, which one would you choose?

  3. David says:

    Booze. Hands down. Ever taste bacon? Seriously now …

  4. Chrystoph says:

    I can find other intoxicants, but meat?!!

    I eat steak far more often than I drink…

  5. keith says:

    I drink but I could certainly live without it.

    Going without alcohol would definitely affect my food choices though because a cheeseburger without beer is just plain wrong.

  6. alan says:

    Easy decision, meat is food. I’d starve without it.

  7. Phil says:

    I enjoy alcohol, but I don’t lust after it. I could survive without it, and for the most part I probably wouldn’t miss it. I usually only have two or three adult beverages a week anyway.

    Take my meat away, though, and I’m going to be coming up with all kinds of ideas about what to do with my gun collection.

  8. NYEMT says:

    I’m in the “drinks infrequently enough to live without alcohol” group, too. Interesting that the suicide choice is coming up in second place this far along, although I suppose I should be reassured by the fact that it IS considerably behind. And if you subtract for sarcasm, I guess not THAT many of your readers would go despondently looking for something tall from which to fling themselves. 🙂

  9. Caleb says:

    You people that would give up booze frighten me. I can live with just fish to fulfill my “flesh” requirement, but life without bourbon isn’t worth living.

  10. Kaerius(SWE) says:

    Another one in the I drink too infrequently to care if I’d have to give it up. I could have virgin versions of my favorite drinks, only thing I’d actually miss would be the occasional bailey’s on ice(which I drink for taste, not intoxication).

  11. mpk19 says:

    Perish the thought, evil man! I voted to give up meat, heavily influenced on the gift case of Sammie Adams I just received…

  12. bluntobject says:

    The magic words here are “Fish is OK”. I’d be perfectly happy to eat sea kittens for the rest of my life, particularly if I can find a good sushi place and not have to give up my beloved liquid Jesus.

  13. Antibubba says:

    Even sushi, as delicious as it is, would not fill the yawning pit. If meat is murder then I’m a serial killer. There’s nothing in the world like fresh hamburger, pushed across the grill just long enough to meet health regulations, as it bleeds into a toasted bun. Mmmmm!!

    And if you choose alcohol you’ll never hunt again. Eventually you’ll stumble, sloshed and confused, right into a PETA demonstration, where you’ll be overwhelmed by lentil flatulence. Is that how you want to go?

    • Kaerius(SWE) says:

      Forget hamburger, give me rare beefsteak or pork sirloin any day(preferably with fries and green pepper sauce)… or BBQ skewers of the same meat(preferably greek style, I love souvlaki).

      For a good stirfry with currysauce(chinese by preference, indian is good too, and thai will suffice for want of the others) though… nothing beats chicken. Extra bonus points if the stirfry includes water chestnuts.

  14. Kristopher says:

    I’d go get another Doctor … this one is broken.

  15. Regolith says:

    I’d give up alcohol. I very rarely drink as it is (as I dislike the taste of most alcoholic beverages), but I love me some teriyaki or deep fried chicken.

    Wait….does that mean I can’t use alcohol in cooking, even if most of the alcohol gets burned off? Because wine (either Sherry or Saki) is a base ingredient in teriyaki sauce…

    • Regolith says:

      Whoops, that should be sake, not saki…

      • Kaerius(SWE) says:

        Yeah saki doesn’t have much to do with cooking… well except maybe, very loosely, one archaic meaning of it could be applied if you were poisoning the food(killing intent), or if it was prepared by Hannibal Lecter(Saki as a name). Otherwise there’s not much point to bring it up. *badaboom tish*

  16. I haven’t had anything to drink for three weeks now, can’t say I miss it. But steak, bacon, the dream of a traditionally prepared ortolan* … I don’t know how I’d keep going!

    *yes I’m well aware I’ll be going to hell, no need to remind me.

  17. MarkHB says:

    My Gh0d man, what kind of state are you in to be asking questions like this? It’s like asking which testicle I’d rather slam with a meat tenderiser! The answer is “Neither and anyone who tries to make me choose had better come mob-handed and heavily armed”!

  18. BryanP says:

    I chose alcohol, but some might consider me a teetotaler. A six pack of hard cider can last in my fridge for 6 months. I’ve been working on the same bottle of Tullamore Dew for over 2 years.

    But then, while I like a little drink now and then, I don’t particularly enjoy the sensation of being drunk.

  19. E says:

    I deny the validity of the question too.
    I drink little enough and eat meat moderately enough that I don’t see why I should have to go cold turkey (ha ha) on either.

    Alcohol is a natural consequence of harvesting plants, and meat is a natural consequence of harvesting animals. Don’t make me be unnatural!

    cheers,

    -E

  20. RevolverRob says:

    Life is not worth living without epicurean delights. I will die before giving up gin and tonics, rum and cokes, and steak and ribs.

    I also will not live in a world without either, anyone who would come to ban alcohol and meat would get my dead cow and my beer like they’d get my gun, hot and empt…err from my cold dead hands!! Yea that’s it!

    -Rob

  21. Desertrat says:

    Invalid, irrelevant question. I ain’t givin’ up nuthin’ for nobody.

    “It’s beefsteak when I’m hungry,
    Rye whiskey when I’m dry;
    If a tree don’t fall on me,
    I’ll live ’til I die.”

    Old cowboy song, recorded by Tex Ritter.

    Sums it up pretty good, IMO.

    Art

    • Windy Wilson says:

      Which verse is that?
      That’s the version my Scoutmaster used to sing, but I have an old pre-vinyl record of “Rye Whiskey”, and THAT recording has

      “It’s beefsteak when I’m hungry,
      Rye whiskey when I’m dry;
      Greenbacks when I’m hard-up,
      Heaven when I die.”

      Ol’ Tex probably would have voted to give up meat, as he had a famous thirst, and “Rye Whiskey” concludes with the words,
      “If the Ocean wuz whiskey and I wuz a duck,
      I’d swim to the bottom and never come up.”

  22. ditto says:

    Only three salad eaters?

    What would a salad be without bacon?

  23. MarkHB says:

    Bacon is a vegetable. That’s Science!

  24. Gerry N. says:

    “Divide by zero error!” Anyone actually trying to make me choose would in all likelihood be quite disturbed as I sorted through and decided which of several long or short guns would best answer the questions.

    SRSLY.

    Gerry N.

  25. Grey says:

    If anyone tries to force me to give up meat or booze, I’ll cook them for dinner and wash ’em down with bourbon.

    Remember, when the apocalypse strikes, a can of corn isn’t food. It’s bait.

  26. dave says:

    Fun poll🙂 I drink rarely, and prefer a good Vodka over anything else. I’d more readily give up alcohol than meat.

  27. Arkh says:

    When speaking about alcohol, can you still use alcohol in food recipes ?
    Cause I could easily forget about drinking alcohol beverages, but not eating some beef Bourguignon, or apples with rum.

  28. Mike says:

    I’d give up alcohol… I don’t want to, but giving up a chemical is easier than a whole food group.

    I already kicked caffeine because the addiction bugged me, and sometimes worry about the cravings I have for alcohol.

  29. Sendarius says:

    I can be stupid enough without chemical assistance, thank you very much!

    So I vote alcohol – easiest decision ever, so long as we are only talking about ingestion. I want to keep using it as a cleaner, solvent, and rocket fuel.

  30. Michael says:

    As the lone vote for giving up both….I had already made that choice by the time this poll came out.

    But, all is not lost, I am not a granola eating, lotus sitting collectivist out to tell anyone how to live.

    Even though I do eat granola and teach yoga at gyms…..I just can’t swallow that whole collectivist thing….

    Being a libertarian is liberating that way.

  31. Casey says:

    I’m one of those still waiting to see how someone would attempt to enforce this unnatural sacrifice…it’s like trying to force innocent people to pay for other people’s mistakes….oh, wait……

    Casey

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