monday search term safari LXXXII.

how to write straight on unlined paper

Practice.  Personally, I line up the first sentence on the upper edge of the page, and each following line on the preceding one.  It’s just a freakish talent I have.

(After writing on unlined paper for a year or so, I now find lines too confining.  With unlined paper, I can make my own margins and line spacing, and I can throw in a sketch or diagram in the middle of the page if needed.)

minivan stuck in snow

Yeah, that has happened to me once or twice.  I love the utility and flexibility of the Grand Marnier, but having only front-wheel drive in the New England winters sucks a bit.  If it had all-wheel drive, it would be the perfect vehicle.  Well, that, and maybe a plow blade on the front.  And tracks instead of wheels.  And a roof hatch with a pintle-mounted M240.  And thorazine mist dispensers for the kiddie section in the back.  And a minibar.  And…

pros and cons of shoulder holster

Pros: Comfortable way to carry gun and spare ammo, even a full-sized heater.  Easy and fast to access while seated.  Keeps the belt free.

Cons: Requires covering garment (but which concealment methods don’t?), cross-draw across the body isn’t as fast as regular strong-side draw, weapon retention a little more difficult if someone tries to grab your gun, risk of looking like a Miami Vice casting reject.

how does a werewolf heal silver.

It’s magic. or something.  Seriously—do you expect a detailed, medically sound answer to the ailments of a pretend creature?  Werewolves are make-believe. Pretend. They don’t actually exist.  Make up whatever explanation suits your story best.  Nobody will be able to whip out a biology book, open it to the section titled “Werewolf”, and contradict you.

what the fuck is wrong with life

It’s frequently unfair, occasionally outright sucky, and usually difficult if you try to pull your own weight.  On the plus side, it beats the hell out of the alternative.  But hey–if it wasn’t difficult, there’d be no challenge to it, and no sense of accomplishment when you achieve your goals.  The hard is what makes it great.

what are the oldest tools

It’s a toss-up between the miter saw and the pipe wrench, crudely fashioned examples of which have been found in many Cro-Magnon dwellings.

movie line "i want my $2"

That’s from “Better Off Dead”, a classic Eighties movie that is also the Best Eighties Movie Starring John Cusack (and there were a lot of those.)  I will only excuse your appalling lack of knowledge if your birth year is 1980 or later.

how to handle the stupidity of the masses

Booze, and ranting on the Internet, of course.

new england winter

Cold and snowy, from December to March.  Four months of Ice Planet Hoth, in fact.  We have Tauntauns and everything.

 

Well, there’s your free ice cream for the morning.  Now get back to work…or enjoy your day of taxpayer-funded leisure, if you’re a public sector drone.

12 thoughts on “monday search term safari LXXXII.

  1. 4F says:

    Horizontal shoulder holsters don’t easily conceal a full size (5 inch) barrel pistol, if you’re thin. Vertical ones work better, but are slower on the draw…think long and up on the draw….(see http://www.corneredcat.com/Holster/shoulder.aspx) for a nice illustration….

  2. Gregg says:

    Personally I think that Grand Marnier would work great in the frozen northlands. Though a bottle of orange flavored liqueur mixed with driving is not a good combination, especially not in the presence of ice and snow.

  3. Ancient Woodsman says:

    “Better Off Dead” was indeed a good movie – kudos to your snowbound entertainment taste. However, I posit that “The Sure Thing” was a might better on the Cusack scale (“It’s only for emergencies.” “Well, maybe one will come up.”), if only marginally.

    Poor, deprived youngsters hatched after the early ’80’s can only dream of an entire movie genre laconically referred to as ‘tits & zits’…but, oh, what wonderful & wondrous times they were.

    Strengthen your Cusack-fu with some Netflix, Grasshopper, and bring us more in next week’s installment of the MSTS.

  4. karrde says:

    I do sometimes wish I had a quick swap-out option for treads instead of wheels.

    And I drive a Jeep with 4WD capability, and lots of ground clearance.

    And that M240 option would be awesome.

  5. Jake says:

    I would love to know the origin of the “miter saw” meme!

  6. Blast Hardcheese says:

    Damn shame, folks throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that…

  7. Cameon says:

    Alright, so my Dad showed me the posting you did about why the gun is civilized, and so I decided to check out your other work. I am impressed, which probably means nothing to you, and you are bookmarked. (As WordPress and not Blogger). Just thought you should know. Look forward to future readings.

  8. Skip says:

    Got tipped to a very nice shoulder rig from Farmer Frank.
    A. E. Nelson Co. out of Oregon.
    5″ Kimber and two mags on the offside is damn near invisible.
    Clamshell for a very quick draw and a retention strap for normal times.
    Good leather, well made, not too pricey.

  9. ibex says:

    Dammit, 1978. Updating NetFlix queue now.

  10. Tam says:

    what are the oldest tools

    Burt Schmidt, 102, of Two Mules, Wyoming, and his cousin Zeke, 99, who lives in the neighboring hamlet of Bison Scrotum, are the oldest living recipients of the Tooly McToolerson Award for Maximum Toolishness.

  11. Gerry N. says:

    When I was a little boy, my grandpa had a ’32 International pickup. He had a half track kit for it that he’d bolt on in the winter. Back then, (that’d be the late 40’s, early 50’s), So. Dak. roads weren’t the gravel covered wonders they are now so a half track was just the ticket. He also had a snow plow on the front. Grandpa was one of those guys who had a gift for making money. He plowed roads for the County and delivered Mail when 6′ snowdrifts blocked a lot of farmer’s and ranchers lanes from the county road to the farmstead. I used to love to ride with him ’cause he’d hit those drifts at 25 or 30 mph and the snow would just fly. He had the box of his ol’ pickup filled with sand, partly for the weight and partly for traction when we found someone stuck in the snow. Folks would ask what they could do for him after he got ’em going again and he’d just ask if they could afford half a buck for gas. He took a big ol’ sack of quarters and 50 cent pieces to the bank about twice a week. I always looked forward to lunch. Grandpa would find a grove of cottonwood or willows to break the wind, and park there. Then we’d bow our heads and he’d say grace, then pull a couple of sandwiches out of the glove box. Mostly they’d bee roast beef or ham. He’d pour a big mug of black coffee out of his thermos for us to share while we ate our sandwiches and some cookies. I dearly loved that old man.

    Gerry N.

    • Will says:

      “I used to love to ride with him ’cause he’d hit those drifts at 25 or 30 mph and the snow would just fly.”
      The problem is the occasional objects hidden in there, like ice, concrete, etc, when you’ve been running that plow for 52+hours straight. Doesn’t hurt the blade, but the pivot mount gets a wee bit mangled, especially when you try to “fix” the problem by hitting the other side. (shakes head-I was pretty groggy by then) Nothing a torch, sledge, and porta-power can’t correct. Hmm, can’t remember if that was before, or after, I sheered a rear axle shaft on that old Willy’s ‘wagon. Same damn parking lot, though.

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