tuesday search term safari III.

what novel begins "marley was dead"

That would be “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens.  Try reading it sometime, instead of just catching the Muppet version on Teevee around Christmastime.  Much of Dickens’ conversational prose can’t be shown in the film versions.

"waterman phileas"

The Phileas is an Art Deco-styled fountain pen made by Waterman.  It’s a good, reliable writer with a smooth nib, and can be picked up for around $40.  A Phileas was my first purchase when I got back into fountain pens, and I usually recommend it as a good starter pen for those interested in something a little nicer than a $3 gel pen.

munchkin in space banana lazer

Okay, who leaked the official title of my novel in progress?  Now I’ll have to retitle my Banana Lazer trilogy.  Thanks a lot.

it’s not rape if she deserves it

And when you go to the big house for raping someone, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that what Bubba is doing to you every night after lights-out isn’t rape.  (Not that I condone prison rape, but come on—it’s rape if she says or otherwise indicates NO, and you have sex with her anyway.  It’s not rocket surgery, people.)

how much ammo can a man carry

That depends on the ammo, really.  I could probably stuff about ten thousand rounds of .22LR into my backpack, whereas I wouldn’t be able to carry much more than one 155mm artillery shell. 

a german ss officer with the rank of major

The SS had its own rank system, separate from the army, although the rank structure was roughly the same, and the shoulder boards were similar as well.  An SS “major” was called a Sturmbannführer (“storm banner leader”).  Let me guess: you just watched “Inglorious Basterds”?  (Hans Landa introduces himself to the Frenchman as a Colonel du SS, but that’s probably because to a non-German, Oberführer sounds like someone horking onto the sidewalk.)

labrat and stingray atomic nerds pics

LabRat and Stingray are the Chupacabras of the blogging world.  They have never been successfully photographed in the wild, which leads some people to believe that they’re actually an elaborate hoax.

photos demonic entities

Just Google the phrases “Miley Cyrus”, “Jonas Brothers”, or “Zac Efron”, and you will find the images you seek. Do not use the phrases “Barney” and “dinosaur” together, though, because that’s like the Necronomicon of demonic entity image results.  You don’t want to do that to your mind, I promise.

navy seals pirates

Well, the ninja is the natural enemy of the pirate, and Navy SEALs are the closest thing we have to ninjas.


So there you have the day-late edition of the MSTS.  Disregard the slight odor coming from the newspaper wrapping….the product is still somewhat fresh.


13 thoughts on “tuesday search term safari III.

  1. perlhaqr says:

    Yeah, but Navy SEALs, being waterbased, are sort of pirate flavored ninjas.

  2. Charlie Fraser says:

    Re: SS Major.
    In the Waffen (armed) SS, which was set up as a “paralell Army”, the ranks were double e.g. “Sturmbann fuhrer und Major der Waffen SS”. That was so that when these formations were placed in the line with the regular Army, there would be less confusion. Thes formations served throughout WWII, often combined in larger formations with Army and Luftwaffe troops.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      Yeah, that’s true. I forgot about the double titles in the Waffen-SS.

    • Rick R. says:

      Actually, it wasn’t to avoid confusion, as to attempt to claim military status for them if captured. By the end, even the “police” SS types wewre getting secondary commissions with Heer (Army) rank.

      But I thought the double commissions only started at Oberfuhrer (Senior Colonel) or Brigadefuhrer (Brigadier General)?

  3. Reese says:

    Upon your recommendation I purchased a Phileas for my first fountain pen. I was able to find one new on ebay for $25.

    I use it daily and am absolutely in love with it. Thanks for the recommendation!

  4. STW says:

    The Patrick Stewart version of A Christmas Carol captures the language of the story the best of those I’ve seen. I attempt to (re)read the story every December and was pleasantly surprised by how much of the dialogue and thoughts of Scrooge verbalized by Stewart matched the Dickens text. However, the Alister Sims version is comforting in its own right simply because, it too, is so familiar.

  5. JPG says:

    I suppose that LabRat and Stingray may indeed be an elaborae hoax. If so, someone went to the trouble of sending a pair of well-briefed ringers to the Blogorado gathering in November. It was a pleaure to visit with this delightful couple, who talked just like the fantasy duo write.

  6. ibex says:

    Minor nitpicking: Unless the French rank of Colonel is different from the American Colonel or the German Oberst, the SS equivalent would be Standartenführer, if I am not mistaken.

    • Rick R. says:

      First, forgive my ommission of umlauts. Not feeling the ASCII code goodness. . .

      There were TWO grades in the Waffen SS equivalent to “Colonel” (German Heer “Oberst”).

      The first was Standartenfuhrer. Basically, the rank translates as “Regiment Leader” (yes, Standarten isn’t the Gemran word for “Regiment” — it is, however, the word the SS used to describe it’s regimental sized units). This rank is best translated as “Colonel”, and was considered fully equal with the Luftwaffe and Heer rank of “Oberst”.

      Then they had another rank above that — “Oberfuhrer” (roughly, “Higher Leader” or “Senior Leader”). Which is more of a senior colonel, as I said. previous to 1938, it was considered a “flag” rank (i.e., a “one-star” position equivalent to the Heer “Generalmajor”), but once the W-SS started ramping up into big formations, it found itself without an exact equivalent in the Wehrmacht.

      Other armies (especially Communist ones) have used “Senior Colonel” as a title for a rank above what Western armies would consider a “full” Colonel, so it’s a perfectly respectable transliteration. This rank was ALSO considered officialy equal to “Oberst”, but senior to “Standartenfuhrer” (which was ALSO equal to Oberst). . . however, in practice, it was bundled with time in grade as “Standartenfuhrer” when considerations of seniority compared to an Oberst were required, and “Oberfuhrer” was reckoned in practice as “ranking with but above” Oberst.

      THEN, the W-SS had “Brigadefuhrer” (Brigade Leader), which was equivalent to the “one star” Luftwaffe and Heer rank of “Generalmajor”. (It was only in 1982 that West Germany adopted a “Brigadegeneral” title for their “one star” rank. Previous to that the German Army and Air Force general grades ran “Generalmajor”, “Generalleutnant”, “General”, “Generaloberst”, and “Generalfeldmarschall” — AKA “Feldmarschall.) Note that the post-war German Army had no need for 5-star officers, and so had no Field Marshals after 1945. (The DDR created a 5-star rank of “Marschall der DDR” in 1982, but never promoted anyone to it.)

      Note that the pre-1982 German military thus had “one star” officers commanding divisions on a regular basis. So, while ranking BELOW a US or UK Major General, a pre-1982 Generalmajor had the same job. . .

      Tossing in “Brigadegeneral” pushed everything up one notch, and brought German flag rank titles into correspondance with the US and UK. Now, a Generalmajor is exactly equivalent to a Major General.

      Pulled out my references last night and checked — the “double rank” business started in 1940 or 1941 at “Brigadefuhrer” and up, and would be written as such, “SS-Brigadefuhrer und Generalmajor der W-SS”. Even non-Waffen-SS flag officers eventually received the double commissions. (Note the troop type identification — WWII German flag officers were identified as “RANK of TROOP TYPE”, such as “Generalmajor der Panzertruppe” for an armor one-star, or General der Infanterie for an infantry 3-star.)

      The idea was to get POW protection for senior Nazi officers.

  7. Stingray says:

    Actually we’re a research project escaped from Xerox P.A.R.C. when we discovered it was more fun to shoot guns, make fun of idiots, and raid the alliance. We built the bodies over a series of mis-routed parts shipments from around the local labs, but we’re still working out the odd bug in the system, such as “woah” when on horseback.

  8. Holly says:

    The “Labrat and Stingray pics” ones kind of creeps me out. I get search terms occasionally asking for other bloggers’ pictures and real names, and it always gives me the heebie jeebies.

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