government beer: the only thing that would make me reach for the bud light instead.

Came across the following headline this morning:

Washington’s Dulles Airport Reopens; National Still Closed

My first thought was, “We have a national still?”, and I got all excited.  Then I remembered that we’re talking about the federal government here, which couldn’t make a profit running a whorehouse in Nevada.  Hooch produced by the National Still would have a 2% alcohol content, and come in three flavors, carefully determined by a Congressional committee.  It would also cost $45 for a fifth, and you’d be limited to one bottle a month.

14 thoughts on “government beer: the only thing that would make me reach for the bud light instead.

  1. Tam says:

    Government beer would drive me to sobriety.

  2. Weer'd Beard says:

    And it would be fortified with vitamins and minerals, and have 16 large-type warnings on the bottle that you should NEVER EVER drink something that is potentially bad for you.

  3. Sean Sorrentino says:

    Don’t they mean REAGAN National Airport? What are they afraid of. Is it like Beetlejuice? If you say Reagan’s name three times he comes back and humiliates the national press? I can promise you it doesn’t, or we’d have had him back a long time ago.

  4. Antibubba says:

    I can’t remember her last name; isn’t the Secretary of Beer “Ethyl Something”?

  5. Paul says:

    Merman? I think that was a singer the last time the Goverment got too big for its britches.

  6. Dwight Brown says:

    Apparently, they’ve rebuilt George Washington’s distillery at Mount Vernon and are (or are planning to) produce rye whiskey from it.
    This is the sort of national still that I can fully support.

  7. Antibubba says:

    —>”Apparently, they’ve rebuilt George Washington’s distillery at Mount Vernon and are (or are planning to) produce rye whiskey from it.
    This is the sort of national still that I can fully support.”

    Is that an attempt at rye humor?

  8. steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) says:

    There’s also a National Beer–actually a local Baltimore brand:
    http://nationalbohemian.com/Home.aspx

  9. mike w. says:

    Steevil – I bet even Natty Boh would be better than something brewed by the Feds.

  10. steevil (Dr Weevil's bro Steve) says:

    It’d be close. There’s also National Premium, which is OK.

  11. Antibubba says:

    “There’s also a National Beer–actually a local Baltimore brand”.

    Now filtered through 3 layers of Red Tape–so you won’t have to choke it down!!!

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