Over at the Florida Marine Mammal Penitentiary, an inmate killed a warden in species-appropriate fashion yesterday.
Now, I’m not a tree-hugging hemp wearer, but I know that orcas are highly intelligent animals with fairly complex social structures. Putting a bunch of them into a little tank to spend the rest of their lives in there would be like chucking a human into a clear-walled version of ADX Florence supermax. Actually, it’s even worse than that, because the inmates at SeaWorld are trained to perform.
I know that if you locked me in a transparent room for the rest of my life, fed me the same three things every week, and made me perform five shows a day for chunky tourists from Wisconsin, it wouldn’t take me very long to snap like a stale pretzel.