how to write straight on unlined paper
Practice, or use a guide sheet. It also helps to have Teutonic precision embedded in your DNA.
why is there a ban on selling kidneys
Because your benevolent masters have decreed that while you can go out to the liquor store and buy enough alcohol to kill off every major organ in your body in a month, you can’t offer one of your kidneys for sale to the highest bidder. Because somebody may take advantage of you, and that may harm you in the long run.
neo alphasmart file word limit
The Neo has a file size limit of about 9,000 words. With eight file spaces on the Neo, you could write just over 70,000 words before you would have to transfer your text to a computer.
jet li lethal weapon ripping slide
Ah, yes…the source of much gun shop hysteria and many high school ninja fantasies. To wit: this does not work, unless the guy holding the Beretta has the reflexes of a sloth on Thorazine. You can’t get your hand on a Beretta 92 frame, work the takedown lever (which requires you to have your fingers on both sides of the frame to rotate it, as you have to press down the takedown block on the opposite side), and then rip the slide off the gun before the guy holding the Beretta shoots you in the face. If you Google screen shots of Lethal Weapon 4, you will clearly see that Mel Gibson’s Beretta was staged for the scene—the takedown lever was already conveniently rotated into the “down” position, so all Jet Li had to do was to pull off the slide and barrel. In real life, going all Jet Li on someone pointing a Beretta at you has a very high likelihood of you getting shot with said Beretta.
romeo and juliet pirates versus ninjas
I took that ball and ran with it about four years ago. Still haven’t managed to get the funding for the production, though.
sex with kaylee
What is “What do 35% of male Firefly fans think about when they imagine themselves as the new crew member on Serenity?”
(The rest are pretty evenly split between Inara, River, Zoe, Mal, and Jayne.)
shelby foote’s fountain pens
Shelby Foote didn’t write his magnum multi-volume Civil War history with a fountain pen, he wrote it with a dip pen. You know, the kind you dunk into a pot of ink to write a sentence or two before re-dunking. Come to think of it, the best books in literary history were written with a dip quill or pen by hand, so that just goes to show that neither quantity nor quality have to suffer when you write by hand.
gurgling sounds in my macbook pro
Pick up the Starbucks venti latte you just knocked over, shut down your MacBook Pro, and pray you still have AppleCare. The MacBook Pro does not relish the latte.
easy to use word processors for novels
The Alphasmart Neo is as easy to use as it gets. Turn it on, and off you go. It works like a calculator, and is about as robust. It also saves every keystroke automatically, so you won’t have to worry about saving your stuff when you’re finished.
haggis out of the can
There’s a place called Caledonian Kitchen that sells haggis in cans. However, I hear the FDA has recently lifted the ban on haggis imports—apparently, they no longer regard it as a biological warfare agent. That means we should be able to get genuine Scottish haggis at the Co-Op soon, which makes the three dozen haggis lovers in the country all giddy with exuberance.
saskatchewan prairie ice
That’s the name of my new band right there. “Hi….we’re Saskatchewan Prairie Ice, and this one’s called Ride my Zamboni.”
And that’s the take for the week, friends and neighbors. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and drown my sorrows in cheap beer, because the proximate sporting squadron was bested by the squadron of the Others at slinging a small, circular piece of hard rubber across the ice with curved sticks.