the writing on the wall.

Some of the usual suspects are up in arms about KFC’s new “Double Down”, a chicken sandwich with fried chicken patties in place of a bun.  Over at the HuffPo, they decry KFC’s latest offering as “going too far”…which is an awful lot of alarmist hyperbole when you consider that the Double Down has a measly 540 calories and 32 fat grams.  (That thing is a caloric dead ringer for the Big Mac, which also has 540 calories, and 29 fat grams, but for some reason the HuffPo folks don’t get all bent out of shape about that one.)  It’s not a leafy salad, but there are worse lunch foods, and the nutritional information on that lump of deep-fried chicken grease certainly doesn’t warrant breathless terms like “fast food-related crime against humanity”, and “potentially lethal”.

Here’s a fun exercise: collect all the public statements from various sources about KFC’s “Double Down”, and our “lethal” fast food in general, and see where all those folks stand on health care reform in general, and a public option (or single-payer system) in particular.  I’m willing to wager a non-trivial amount that there’s a near-complete overlap between the “fast food bad” and “public health care system good” sections of that Venn diagram.

With the pants-shitting hysteria every time some fast food joint releases some gastronomic abomination, and with the First Lady beating the drum against child obesity, does anyone really doubt that the fast food industry will take the place of the tobacco industry as a public villain (and, conveniently, a cash-filled pinata) within a decade or so?  And if you get any sort of public subsidy for your shiny new health care plan, boy howdy are they ever going to feel completely justified in telling you what to put in your mouth…and penalizing you for eating whatever wrong stuff you can still buy after they’re done with the evil Big Fast Food profit-mongers.  (Did you know there are lots of fast food joints in inner cities? It’s almost like they’re trying to get the low-income crowd hooked on that unhealthy stuff! Why, if we only outlaw new fast food joints in those neighborhoods, people will have no choice but to buy leafy greens and lean cuts of meat at Whole Foods.)

That Double Down doesn’t look very appealing to me, but I may just make it a point to go out and have one this weekend, because I deeply resent the self-righteous Mommy Staters who try to force everyone to do what’s best for them, personal choice be damned.  Last time I checked, KFC doesn’t force that greasy thing down anyone’s throat.

Carl E. Sagan on a moped…between the hippy-dippy crowd trying to tell everyone what not to eat, and the Fundies trying to tell everyone what not to do with their naughty genitals, it’s a wonder there’s any liberty left in this place.  When did it ever become fashionable to give a shit what your neighbor chooses to have for lunch?


34 thoughts on “the writing on the wall.

  1. Gene says:

    Right on, Marko! But I urge you not to “cut off your nose to spite your face”, or in this instance “explode your tummy to spite HuffPo”. Don’t get me wrong, be from the South I loves me some fried chicken… but that thing seems a little excessive.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      You know what? It honestly doesn’t.

      I mean, it’s just two fried chicken patties with some cheese, sauce, and bacon in between. If I chopped it all up and served it to you in a little bowl, you’d spoon it onto your breakfast biscuit without blinking.

    • bluntobject says:

      Excessive? Why?

      And given the vitriol that HuffPo and &c. are spewing about the Double Down but not about, say, a 1000kcal extra-large Coke that’ll hit your bloodstream like Fat Man hit Nagasaki… why is this sandwich the one that provokes wharrgarbl?

  2. medic says:

    “boy howdy are they ever going to feel completely justified in telling you what to put in your mouth…”

    Insert comment about how the Health Care plan will not punish those who engage in risky behaviors like homosexuality. (Not that I care about that, but how can you regulate what I eat, drink, and do and NOT regulate other behaviors?)

    After all, I will be willing to bet that there will be restrictions on smoking, sky diving, SCUBA, and other high risk behaviors, but certain things will be off limits.

  3. Joe says:

    No restrictions on sky diving or bungie jumping as the medical condition resulting from those is otherwise know as “becoming room temperature” and hence doesn’t cost anything besides a guy with rubber gloves and a spatula.

    Point taken though, in fact, while eating nachos with a buddy I pointed out that we should enjoy them while we’re able to legally munch on them (love me some nachos). I might become an outlaw.

    RE: the KFC double-down, I bet it’d fit within the guidelines of some the of the low-carb diets and thus could be considered health food. I’d eat one, like Marko says, there’s worse stuff out there (like chili cheese fries).

    • Jake says:

      mmm… chili cheese fries. I think I will have some for lunch just out of spite. (And because they’re delicious and I haven’t had them in several months – everything in moderation!)

    • kneil says:

      I don’t know what the survival rate is like for sky diving accidents, but I know anecdotally that it is not 0%. I used to work with a skydiver who eventually crashed and eventually learned to walk again (with a walker).

      I think the best solution (short of a truly free market) would be to net the increased medical costs of survivors and the inevitable minor injuries against the long-term savings attributable to the DOA crowd and levy a “skydiving tax” to cover the difference.

  4. RobertM says:

    I’m going to have to try one of these. It actually looks kind of good. The PSH aspect just makes it that much better.

  5. Pappy says:

    The “people” that live by the “info” put out by the likes of the HuffPo really can’t manage their own lives too well, so it seems they feel like we can’t either.

  6. Jay G. says:

    does anyone really doubt that the fast food industry will take the place of the tobacco industry as a public villain (and, conveniently, a cash-filled pinata) within a decade or so?

    It may take a little longer than a decade, actually.

    They’ve got to slowly ease out all advertising, first, so that there’s no massive collapse when McDonald’s isn’t pumping BILLIONS into print media and TV ads. Think about it – cigarettes stopped TV / radio ads in the late 1960s, yet still run print ads and until the past decade or so still sponsored sporting events…

    Timeline may be off, but not the concept…

  7. crankylitprof says:

    Speaking of TEH EEEEEBIL TERBACKY COMPANIES, I find it wildly hysterical that the same bunch of simpering, panty-waisted hypochondriac hippies who have spent the last fifteen years demonizing tobacco (and the damage smoking can do to the lungs) are ecstatic on the thought of legalized marijuana.

    ‘Cause like, you know, smoking dope is a DIFFERENT kind of smoking, and like, there’s no real damage, ya know?

    • Dave says:

      Well, different in the fact that there aren’t many pack-a-day dope smokers, but it’s fairly common with tobacco. Yes, there’s nasty stuff in any kind of smoke, but the quantity inhaled also matters.

  8. Rusty P. Bucket says:

    Hi all ~ I seem to rember getting egged by the cool kids when I said there was a difference between repubs and dems – but I was shouted down and told that they were both the same, always trying to rob us of our ri hts and freedoms.

    Well, now you have that black piece of chit in the oval office, you have free health care that the repubs fought tooth a nd nail, and you are learning the hard way about the differinces between the two partys. You can bet Obammy has more free stuff for you too, ha ha! The repubs have their problems, but everything is a matter of degree I suppose.

    I am not worried, my rights are not violated one iota by not being able to eat mass produced junk that the human body is not capable of digesting properly. Further, for fellas like me freedom and slavery are choices. If Obutthole thinks I will make the same choices his ancestors did with re gard to slavery he is sadly mistaken – and he will pay for that mistake in blood if he wants to get stupid about it!

    There is a battle looming with our idiot president and his ilk, but it will not be fought on this particular hill. At least not by me.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      Ah, yes…the guy who doesn’t have a problem with rape as long as he’s not on the receiving end personally.

      You didn’t just pick slavery, Rusty…you’re demanding it, and defending it.

      Also, please don’t use phrases like “black piece of shit” on my blog, regardless of how clever or cute you think you are with your alternate spelling. (If the word isn’t offensive, why mask it?) I’d hate for people to think that I have anything in common with you, or that I share your attitudes from 1860.

      • Rusty P. Bucket says:

        I see a difference between rape and obesity Munchkin.

        Mind you, I can also tell the diffrence between a de ocrat and a republican and the diffrence between a black man and a piece of chit like Obama. Idiots elected him based on the colour of his skin and not the content of his charater so I made reference to it – sorry if that offends you…

        And Who is demandi ng slavery Munchkin? You champion ‘the right’ for people to take up addictive illegal drugs. If adiction isn’t slavery I don’t know what is. Do you think addicts like being addicts, Munchkin?

    • Tam says:

      Hi all ~

      You ain’t dead yet?

      • Rusty P. Bucket says:

        Yes I am Tam, due mostly to all your good wishes!

        Are you still making 5 dollars an hour as a gun store clerk?

        • Tam says:

          Heck, I’m retired. Have been for years.

          How ’bout you? Still hanging out at the bus station?

        • Rusty P. Bucket says:

          Madam please! I am a man with an inquiring mind, and only hob nob at the better airports (and intenet sights).

          If you be a good girl for a change I may be persuaded to lecture at yours for a reasonable fee…

        • Kristopher says:

          Are you going to make an internt shrine to Tam, like any internet stalker worth his salt?

          I was rather amused by Nietzsche-boy’s … sure you could do better?

  9. Gerry N. says:

    Progressives do not really care what they force you to do as long as it is mandatory.

    Gerry N.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      Both sides have their pet prohibitions, Gerry.

      • MarkHB says:

        Mmmph. This is one reason I sigh a little every time I see just about any bit of party political gumph. Seems you can tell the worst enemies of the Constitution not by their turban, their AK or their by those little stars-and-stripes pins they wear on their suits.

        Then again, we wouldn’t want the wrong lizard to get in, would we?

  10. anonymous says:

    You know what I like about this place?

    A spot about an over-the-top chicken frickin’ sandwich quickly goes emblematic re personal choice and freedom, exposing sacred cows and pet peeves even among intelligent libertarians who love their freedoms and despise authoritarianism; (surprised me there, cranky).

    And then we have Mr. Bucket; always entertaining even though I don’t know what the fluck he’s talking about, and pretty sure he doesn’t, either.

    Following the Bucket is the predictable terror apologist who finds evil in all things Americana, most particularly anything related to the one purely Constitutional function of our federal hirelings.

    There is philosophical gold in them thar hills, though, camouflaged as it may be among all the pyrite. And as is often the case it is our immigrant host who ID’s it, mines it and holds it out for all to see: “…conveniently, a cash-filled pinata.”

    Yepper, follow the money and find the motive.

    Al Terego

  11. bluntobject says:

    Marko, my respect for you just bumped up by two orders of magnitude. When I ranted about the Double Down — I just cooked myself an ersatz version this evening; it needs serious flavour in the chicken even with the bacon — I got a few dozen hits from a BoingBoing comment thread, and TJIC chatting about diet. Not that I’m complaining.

    But when you ranted about the Double Down, you got Rusty to pop off his load about “[a] black piece of shit” and AnonyAT deflagrating about… uh… WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN. And then Tam shows up to dump a bucket of haterade with the exasperated politeness I usually associate with the South in my limited Canuckistani Gone With the Wind stereotyping way.

    I salute you, Sir; your comments are fucking amazing.

    • anonymous says:

      Pay attention and before you know it you might even. Then instead of glib and witty metoos, your own comments can haz amazing.

      And maybe -just maybe- you can dispel some hilarious canucki stereotypes harbored by Southerns in an SNL kind of way.


  12. […] Nanny to get your bun: With the pants-shitting hysteria every time some fast food joint releases some gastronomic abomination, and with the First Lady beating the drum against child obesity, does anyone really doubt that the fast food industry will take the place of the tobacco industry as a public villain (and, conveniently, a cash-filled pinata) within a decade or so? […]

  13. Kristopher says:


    The sandwich is actually a good choice for a person counting carbs … either as a diet, or as a diabetic.

    What is really the kiss of death in those places are the huge quantities of spuds. You don’t need a lot of concentrated carbs to stay alive … with fries you can easily eat your way into obesity.

    I love those fries … and I can’t have them except as a treat.

  14. Rupert Neve says:

    Chicken and cheese is a very hard combo to make work. My primary objection is that it is probably kind of gross tasting.

    Philly-style chicko-steaks are delicious, but that’s kind of an amalgam of chicken, cheese, and grilled onions on a crusty roll. Some chicken pizzas are ok. Other than that, I don’t know that there are many good cheesy chicken combos, particularly with fried chicken. They put cheese on my chicken sandwich at burger king one time and it was horrific.

    I heartily advise eating a Triple Baconator instead.

    • Black Ice says:

      A BK Chicken Sandwich MUST have cheese. And extra mayo. Otherwise, why bother ordering it?

      I tried the Baconator, and it was unforgiveably bland. How can you have bacon without any flavor?? Throw some hot sauce on it, or jalapenos, or salt, or at least look at it harshly. Seriously, I’d almost rather eat cardboard.

      I thought the Jack In The Box Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger was the king-pimp-mack-daddy dish…but now I have to try the Carl’s Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger. It’s the highest calorie treat I can get in my area of the country, and my fondest wish is to chow it down right in front of a bunch of vegan health-freak nany-state Californians.

      Why, yes…I AM a jerk. Why do you ask?

      (List of foods that make statists cringe is here: )

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