a sweet gig if you can get in.

Hey, taxpayers!

How does it feel to know that you paid six-figure salaries to a bunch of bureaucrats who spent eight hours a day downloading porn to their work computers instead of doing their work?

(This would be the SEC, some of whose employees filled up hard drives with German Scheisse videos while Bernie Madoff was running his Ponzi scheme, and the country was in the middle of the worst financial crisis in eighty years.  But clearly, what we need is to give the regulatory agencies even more power.)

Anyone want to wager a guess how many of those six-figure drones will get fired and lose their cushy government pensions?

Based on my experiences in a previous life as a network admin, I’m sure of two things:

  1. In any office-type job, 50% of the people working there only do 1-2 hours of actual work in a day, and fill up the rest with gossiping, lunch, and futzing around on the Internet.
  2. In any office-type job, more than 50% of the people working there will only work hard enough to not get fired.

Relating to point 2., think about how difficult it is to actually get fired from a government job, and then think about how little motivation the little bureaucrats have to get actual work done.  Whenever the shit hits the fan, there’s a flurry of activity because of overreaction to the crisis (“We need to show we’re not irrelevant!”), a lot of reorganization (because movement creates the illusion of activity and progress), and maybe a high-profile firing or three, but overall it’s just a reshuffling of warm bodies.  Once the public scrutiny settles–and it will, as the public goes back to Dancing with Lost American Idols–they’ll all go back to surfing porn and racking up time toward their pensions.

And now some folks want to give the SEC more regulatory power.  That’s like hiring a gardener to plant your tulips, discovering the dude in the tool shed smoking pot and jerking off during work hours…and addressing the problem by hiring an additional gardener and doubling their salaries.

On the upside, I can think of a few federal alphabet agencies whose employees should surf for porn all day long.  I’m all in favor of letting, say, the boys and girls over at the IRS or BATFEIEIO spend their workdays looking at hawt secks instead of thinking up ways to hassle the rest of us.


19 thoughts on “a sweet gig if you can get in.

  1. Rusty P Bucket says:

    Whjat else are they going to do Munchkin?

    The economists told us this was going to happen back in the 70’s when peanut boy Carter started racializing bank len ding practices so that poor black people could buy homes too. Each year after that the problem kept growing while the various adminstrations buried their heads in the sand.

    Solving the crisis became politically incorrect. And now thanks to affirmative action, you have the morons responsible for the prblem trying to solve it!

    These fellas watching porn couldn’t do anything userful even if they wanted too. Besides, it is chump change compared to the trillions that monkey in the oval office is wasting.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      I’m waiting for the day when you mention black people without references to monkeys or fecal matter, but I know better than to hold my breath.

      The slide got greased by your oh-so-responsible generation, when you voted yourselves the right to make your kids and grandkids pay for your retirement and medical expenses. Now 40% of our entire budget gets spent on your Metamucil, Hoverounds, and cat food. Good job there, Greatest Generation. But you go ahead and keep prattling about them negroes and their socialist entitlements.

      • Rusty P Bucket says:

        What can I say, sone? I opposed this all I could, but they wouldn’t listen to me any more than you will.

        We voted for a peanut farming idiot with no balls and less for brains. You kids voted for a magic negro whose stoc k in trade is hope and change and fast talk and bull chit – the polite term for him was ‘an empty suit’.

        Nor is your generation step ping up neither. You just voted yourselves free health care. The bills you pass on will make mine look small.

        No doubt when you are my age you will prattle on about how there is no difference between repubs and democruds as you sip your metamucil and eat your cat food. I would like to see you have a good retirement like mine but at some point you kids are going to have to either grow up or go broke.

        • Kristopher says:

          Speak for yourself, Rusty. I voted for Palin.

          I’ll give you a single point for recognizing a stupid-assed spending spree, and then move on.

          Like it or not, Congress and the Pres got their jobs because they do accurately represent the majority of the people that voted.

      • non-de-rant says:

        Let me introduce you to the triple-dippers. Saw quite a lot of them at a Tea Party Rally. Male. Age: 58 to 62. Retired State Worker with pension ($2,000 p/ month) He does not want to wait until the age of 67 for social security retirement nor does he want to take early retirement at the of 62. Files for SSA disability insurance benefits ($2,000p/month) . 30 to 40 years after the fact some miraculous service connected medical surfaces. Applies and gets VA service connected disability ($2,000). Retirement Total: 72,000 a year + medicare + modicum taxation. Who pays for it …

        • Tam says:

          So, Mr. Copypasta, I’m interested to know just exactly how you came by this interesting demographic data “at a Tea Party Rally.”

          Were you passing out questionnaires or just using your amazing psychic powers?

        • nomderant says:

          Here comes the pseudo-intellectual Stasi lady …

          I know them. And they are not the only hypocrites. I also spotted a couple friend of mine (baptists) who had their kids covered under the SSI medical program. Are they uniquely situated ? Doubtful. Are all triple-dippers or double-dippers necessarily Tea Partiers? No.

          Apparently you believe that Tea Partiers have better motives than anyone else. You are so much closer to the “dialectical materialism” crowd than you think. I bet once upon a time you dabbled with Trotskyism. That would explain the Orwellian fixation.

        • Tam says:

          Here comes the pseudo-intellectual Stasi lady …

          Oooh! Now I’m in the Stasi!

          I know them. And they are not the only hypocrites.

          So, you just dropped by the rally to do some hypocrite-spotting, or what?

          Apparently you believe that Tea Partiers…

          I don’t believe the Tea Partiers are jack shit except for a bunch of people at a rally, no better or worse than any other broad cross-section of humanity. One of us obviously believes they are all of a type, but it ain’t me, sister.

          One of us is also too much of a gutless coward to attach their name to their interwebz psychopolitical masturbations, and that ain’t me, either.

        • Al Terego says:

          Having a bit of spelling/definition trouble with your handle there, Mr. Rant?

          Yes, there was definitely a triple dip in the crowd that day…


        • nom.de.rant says:

          Since you have a dedicated website to “interwebz psychopolitical masturbations” I guess the Jessica Rabbit is all yours.



      • perlhaqr says:

        Yeah, but honestly, credit where credit is due, Rusty actually made a good (if inelegantly stated) point this time.

  2. LittleRed1 says:

    And what do you care to wager that these folks paid for at least some of their jollies using .gov credit cards? This episode is a metaphor for something, methinks.

  3. j t bolt says:

    I think you are being overly generous with 50%.

    AND I worry about people in an office job that have figured out what their job is, and need that full 8 hours to get it done, anyway. If it’s that hard maybe said office drone has risen too high and needs to step back to something in his core competency.

    This assumes an office job where the work is never ‘finished’ where you aren’t producing anything. Just moving the process around. Where time does not equal y quantity of product x.

  4. …a lot of reorganization (because movement creates the illusion of activity and progress)…

    Am I the only one who sees that and immediately thinks of the child who shuffles around the food on their plate so it will look like they ate the food they didn’t want to eat?

    And are there really any among us who tolerate that from their children without at least some sort of consequence?

    And yet The People see the fed.gov do this any time there’s a crisis and, forgetting that The People are supposed to be the ones in charge, pat them on the back and tell them what a good job they did eating up all our money.


  5. Tony Muhlenkamp says:

    For the record; some of us office types surf Munchkin Wrangler and View from the Porch, not porn.

    Just sayin’

    • Dominique says:

      Me? Read blogs while at work? What would give you that idea?

      Pay no attention to the office drone behind the curtain!

  6. Dixie says:

    “Oh dear, our big, powerful government hasn’t done jack to help us… let’s make it bigger and more powerful!”

    More and more, I’ve come to realize that the big government folks see government as a divine creation. Gov’t kills some folks in a raid? Well, the just shouldn’t have defied the almighty! Gov’t wants to tax you 60, 70, 80, 90, 99.9%? Render unto Uncle Sam what is Uncle Sam’s! Someone questions whether big government is needed? SHUN THE UNBELIEVER!

    (sigh) We’re well and truly f*cked, aren’t we?

    • bluntobject says:

      The idea of government-as-divine explains a lot. Maybe people treat institutions in general as if they’re supernatural forces, powerful and unknowable, rather than collections of individuals. So if government is god, that makes business the devil — ’cause everybody knows that the two exist in opposition to each other.

  7. Dixie says:

    Maybe people treat institutions in general as if they’re supernatural forces, powerful and unknowable, rather than collections of individuals.

    Hit the nail on the head.

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