monday search term safari XCVII.

what are the best cows for butchering

The best cows for butchering are the kind made of meat.  You should avoid butchering cows made out of the following substances: wood, brick, Styrofoam, fiberglass, bronze, potassium nitrate.

“copyright infringement is theft”

Of course it is.  You’re taking something that was created by someone else, and using it without permission or compensation.  If that’s done often enough by enough people, sooner or later the people who actually make the stuff will say, “You know what?  Fuck this.  I can’t pay my mortgage or feed my kids.  I’m going to stop this writing nonsense and become a Starbucks barrista.”

In addition to the “theft” angle, it always boggles my mind how someone can pass off someone else’s work as theirs, and not feel like a complete fraud inside.

munchkin wrangler ipad

So far, I’ve resisted the siren song of the iPad.  I’m holding out for iPad 2.0, which–if it follows the rest of the Apple hardware revision cycles–will have twice the capacity and 50% better battery life for the same price, plus a few new features that’ll make the 1.0 adopters all go, “Oh, come on!”

cleaning small apple bluetooth’ keyboard

It’s a flat slab of aluminum, and the keys don’t stand very high.  Just wiping it down with a moist rag will do the job fine, unless you routinely eat barbecue ribs while typing emails, or get on the computer right after changing the oil in the truck.

writing novels with the alphasmart neo

The Neo is pretty much the best first draft banger-outer you can buy.  It won’t distract you with the Intertubes, it forces you to write ahead instead of editing your paragraphs endlessly, and it frees you from the outlet because the batteries last a year or more of regular use.

how to run a barb wire fence

I’ve actually done that in the military.  Here’s how you put up the razor wire kind:  you put on some heavy-duty gloves, unfasten the coil of barbed wire, and then string it out on the ground.  Don’t forget to stop every five feet to curse loudly, pull off a glove, and suck on your bloody digits.  After you’re finished, take off your shredded clothes and throw them away.

did dachsunds come from rodents

As any dachshund owner will readily testify, that’s simply impossible when you consider the dachsie’s rather less than friendly disposition toward rodents.  Family reunions would be bloody massacres.

sigourney weaver with a tommy gun

Sigourney Weaver doesn’t much care for guns, but even she had to resort to gun violence when it was clear that aggression therapy and anti-social behaviour orders weren’t doing a thing to keep the xenomorphs from biting into people’s skulls.  The M-41A pulse rifle wielded by her character Ripley was made from a Thompson M-1 and a Remington 870 shotgun, dressed up with lots of plastic cowling.

fishers a danger to dogs

Well, yeah.  You’re talking about a weasel, which pound for pound is one of the meanest and most ferocious animals on Earth.  A big dog can probably hold his own against a fisher cat, but anything in the same weight class (~15 pounds) or only slightly above will be in danger of getting mauled or killed.

all s&w model 66 handguns with 2.5 inch

The Model 66 also comes with 4″, 6″, and the highly desirable 3″ barrels.  If you ever see a 3″ M66 anywhere, buy it, for you will have found a righteous and rare boomstick, the gun equivalent of Excalibur.

remove desktop power supply

That’s actually fairly easy.  Disconnect the power plug, open the case, and look for a box-like thingy with lots of colorful cables coming out of it.  (It’s where the other end of the power cord plugs into the computer.)  Follow the colorful cables down to the (usually green) main circuit board of the PC, and carefully disconnect them.  Then you can undo the four screws that hold the power supply in the case from the outside, and pull the whole thing out of the case.  All the connectors go into labeled spots on the motherboard, and the important ones are all keyed so you can’t connect them the wrong way.  Takes about 5 minutes, and you won’t have to haul the PC over to Best Buy and let the Geek Squad guys charge you $50 for the job.

piccadilly primo

The Primos have very nice 100gsm paper that’s very fountain pen-friendly.  I had a small stash of them, but sold them off because while the paper and the elastic around the book are better than the straight Moleskine clones of their standard notebook line, the soft cover didn’t work for me, and they don’t come in unlined paper, which is my preference these days.

+avatar +plot +dumb

It’s not so much that the plot is dumb, it’s that it’s insultingly preachy, and lifted wholesale from another movie to boot.  Just Google “Pocahontas synopsis”, replace “John Smith” with “Jake Sully”, “Pocahontas” with “Neytiri”, make the Indians ten feet tall and blue, and put the whole thing into space.

ruger deerslayer .44 suppressed

I’ve seen pictures of one with a suppressor.  Supposedly, it’s about as quiet as an air rifle while still retaining the stomp of the .44 Magnum.  Inside of 200 yards, it’s enough to turn off the lights on most anything you’re likely to bump into in the woods, unless you live in Alaska and have 1,000-pound hairy neighbours with voracious appetites for salmon and hippie hikers.  (I kid on that last part.  The grizzly doesn’t relish the granola.)  All kidding aside, the Deerslayer is simply awesome for the clandestine removal of whitetail deer who have cheated you on a drug deal.


There you go–the search term bucket has refilled a little in the last two weeks.  Hope it makes your Monday more bearable, the knowledge that you once again used up all my natural resources.  Now back to “work”, and don’t think I don’t know exactly that you’ll be checking Facebook and playing Solitaire until right about five minutes before lunchtime…


19 thoughts on “monday search term safari XCVII.

  1. Rob Reed says:

    Just FYI, the housing on the “Hero” versions of the M-41A Pulse Rifle props were made of aluminum, not plastic. A local motorcycle shop actually shaped the housings according to the specs provided by the prop makers.

    One of the hero props had both a working Thompson and a working 870. This was the one used in the close ups when “Hicks” checked “Ripley” out in how to use the rifle.

    The other two hero props had working Thompsons, but dummy shotguns, IIRC.

    From what I remember reading they also made some non-functional props out of rubber for stunt work and shots were no function was required.

  2. Laughingdog says:

    Actually, the best cows for butchering are the ones that are bred as meat cattle, as opposed to breeds like Holsteins and Jerseys.

  3. MaddMedic says:

    As for the best cows for butchering.
    It helps if hey are deceased and recently deceased.
    Ths a bitch butchering a live one.

  4. Jake says:

    Are spherical cows better or worse for butchering than the traditionally shaped ones?

  5. Kristopher says:

    The only prob I have with the current copyright laws is that they were written for studios, publishers, or for Disney, and not for the benefit of the original artists.

    I’d be more than happy with a set of rules that gave the artist full rights for 25 years, then the current sucktastic mess created by the MPAA, RIAA, and Disney ( 75 years to protect that damned rodent ).

  6. CalvinsMom says:

    Were you not the one who opined — not long ago — that sacred co9ws were best for butchering?

  7. Ken says:

    Stick around. The next time that damned rodent gets within sniffing distance of the public domain, Congress will extend copyright to the heat death of the universe.

    There are frequent and interesting arguments about IP and copyright at the Mises Institute. I have not studied the issue in depth myself, but I have a sort of instinctive predilection for the original 28-year term.

  8. Antibubba says:

    “The Model 66 also comes with 4″, 6″, and the highly desirable 3″ barrels. If you ever see a 3″ M66 anywhere, buy it, for you will have found a righteous and rare boomstick, the gun equivalent of Excalibur.”

    If you don’t already own an M66 and come across one, with ANY barrel length, get it! This is a dem fine gun.

  9. John Thomas says:

    “In addition to the “theft” angle, it always boggles my mind how someone can pass off someone else’s work as theirs, and not feel like a complete fraud inside.”

    I think this comes from the goal of schools to impart “self-esteem” before accomplishment, so the wearing of stolen finery does not keep the frauds awake at night like it used to.

    If schools attempted to impart “self-respect” to their indoctrinees they might arrive where they say they want to go, but many parts of the curriculum would have to be eliminated, namely those parts that teach that one goes along regardless of one’s personal views, and that it is the enthusiasm for one’s position rather than the ethical strength of the position that is important.

  10. RevolverRob says:

    I impart immediate reports to the immediate dean (my boss), dean of students, and the president’s office, for all who would attempt the fraud of passing off someone else’s work as their own in my classes. We brandish the iron of contempt and shame as we call them out and shame them in front of their peers, before shaming them in front of their parents. The latter shame typically accompanies said fraud home after they have been e-x-p-e-l-l-ed, expelled, from the University.

    If it is a professional setting, I have had the distinct, and joyous honor of writing a letter to someone’s boss, peers, and professional contacts. Making it clear that the subject is not only an unscrupulous human, but a fraud, a cheat, and a lazy bastard.


  11. Eric says:

    I am also holding off on the iPad until the Oracle support web page works on it (it’s heavy on the Flash). Either Oracle will rewrite “My Oracle Support” or Apple will cave on Flash. I don’t see either happening anytime soon.

  12. dave says:

    I wouldn’t call copyright infringement theft, purely for semantic reasons. Theft is the physical deprivation of something from someone, i.e. it is no longer in their possession. If you have a song, and I copy that song, you still have it. You have not been deprived of anything. In the case that you were charging money for that song, the argument could be made that you lost money because I got it for free (assuming that I would have purchased the song if I couldn’t have gotten it for free, which is not always the case).

  13. Larry says:

    Funny that you should mention copyright infringement, I just stumbled across another instance of your work being accredited to that Caudill fraud.
    I have of course left a comment to the owner with a link to the original essay. Hopefully it will be changed quickly.

  14. Tam says:

    If you ever see a 3″ M66 anywhere, buy it, for you will have found a righteous and rare boomstick, the gun equivalent of Excalibur.

    Excalibur wouldn’t have fruity adjustable sights that snagged on Arthur’s cloak. 😉

  15. Larry says:

    I’m glad to say the error has been corrected and you have been properly credited.

    • MarkHB says:

      Forgive me Larry, for I applaud your effort, but that is not the essay as written. A tiny, one syllable, three letter word is missing.

      Would you please ask the person posting this to post the original version as-written? I think this would only be appropriate.

  16. jimbob86 says:

    Don’t forget to stop every five feet to curse loudly, pull off a glove, and suck on your bloody digits. After you’re finished, take off your shredded clothes and throw them away……

    Well, you obviously did not have a large pair of Vise-Grips handy…. they’re the bee’s knees for handling wire….. almost as a real fencing tool

    but more usefull for other tasks.

  17. IZinterrogator says:

    You forgot to mention the blistery goodness that is picket pounding when setting up concertina.

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