a spine like a model t drive shaft.

I’m heading out to the spine center at Dartmouth this morning to see about getting this defective spine removed and replaced with a titanium model that will increase my running and jumping powers tenfold.  (We have the gold-plated Cigna plan, the one for greedy plutocrats.  It was a paperwork accident, but I think I’ll keep it.  The helicopter service to the private suite at the hospital is nice, I have to say.)

Back pain is now merely at nuisance level, but since Saturday, I’ve had a whole new set of defects that have never manifested themselves before: numbness in my right leg, and a pain in my calf that feels like a permanent cramp.  Not pleasant at all, I must say.  While I can get around somewhat, I can’t do much else, because all my mind can focus on is ZOMG TEH PAIN MAKE IT STOP GODDAMMIT.

We’ll see what the day brings.  If I get that new cyborg spine, I’ll report back with my new numbers for the hundred-yard dash and the triple jump.


10 thoughts on “a spine like a model t drive shaft.

  1. Chang says:

    Jesus, man! I may need to make a housecall. You need some help! Lemme know how it goes at the Spine Center.

  2. julie says:

    hope it works out well for you …

  3. Lissa says:

    As long as you’re doing Cyborg implants, where are you going to put the laser?

  4. aczarnowski says:

    Oi. Hope you have a good doc that listens and test results on the “better than average” side of the bell curve.

  5. Good luck, Marko! Keep us posted, please. And don’t stress your new spine too quickly, you have to give the interface time to heal.

  6. Tennessee Budd says:

    Stick with good ol’ stainless. Titanium is strong, but brittle. After my bike wreck, they put a titanium plate in my leg. Worked fine for 8 months–until the plate snapped in half as I was walking from the bedroom to the bathroom. I’m held together w/ surgical stainless now.

  7. Jay G. says:

    I do certainly hope this won’t keep you from next Sunday’s festivities…

    I mean, if it’ll make a difference, you won’t be obligated to fire the Barrett offhand… 😉

  8. Eric says:

    As my neurosurgeon said, I can give you stuff for pain, I don’t have any pills for numb.

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