monday search term safari XCVIII.

“ruger lcp” “threaded barrel”

Are you trying to put a can on your 11-ounce pocket heater?  There are few guns less suited to suppressor use than the Ruger LCP or its Kel-Tec cousin.  It’ll kill concealability, so you might as well put that suppressor on a bigger gun.  Also, the weight of a 9mm can on the end of the barrel will probably mess with the proper function of the locked breech short recoil system in such a small and light pistol.  If you want to suppress a mousegun, choose one with a fixed barrel.  I shot a suppressed Walther TPH once that was just neater than kitten toes.

wats a good site for kitty porn

So much fail packed into just one little incomplete sentence.  I fondly remember the days when the Internet was mostly an academic thing, and when you had to have a minimum of smarts and literacy to get online.  These days, all it takes is a $200 unemployment check and a nearby Wal-Mart.

where to buy a sword cane in cincinnati

Go to the mall and check for a place that has lots of crystal balls and Elvish jewelry in the window.  They’ll probably have sword-like objects, and a sword cane or two.  If that doesn’t work, check with Ninjas-R-Us, or The Nutcase Emporium.  Or you could always buy one over the Internet, and then troll gun forums online touting the superiority of the blade over the gun until you’re 21 and they’ll sell you a pistol at the gun store.

will my dachshunds catch mice

Mice have the edge when it comes to agility, and they fit into nooks that even a determined dachsie can’t reach, but dachshunds will indeed give chase when they spot a mouse, as it falls into their “furry/feathered/scaled small animal” target envelope.  Much like cat owners, we have been blessed with the occasional half-eaten mouse on the couch after surprising a content dog in the middle of a free-range morning snack.

vespa porn

Finally, a moped query!  I haven’t gotten one of those in ages.  (Piece of scooter trivia: I used to have one in Germany, a 50cc Vespa Sfera, and they’re a ton of fun on non-potholed roads when the other people on those roads aren’t senile Mercury Medicare pilots or drunk Vicodin addicts in two-ton pickup trucks.)

is my dog in danger from fisher cat

Depends on the size of your dog.  A Great Dane, not so much.  A pocket yipper that’s in the same or a lesser weight class than a fisher cat?  Absolutely.  Remember that fisher cats are members of the weasel family, and weasels are the switchblade-carrying psychos of the animal world, the meanest creatures on the planet by aggression-level-to-body-weight ratio.

marine corps master gunnery sergeants

Master Gunnery Sergeant is the highest enlisted rank in the USMC, along with Sergeant Major.  They are informally called “Master Gunny” or “Master Gunns”, and have a pay grade of E-9, equivalent to Sergeant Major in the Army, Master Chief Petty Officer in the Navy, or Chief Master Sergeant in the Air Force.  Junior enlisted troops refer to them as “The Right Hand of God”.

is there a wrangle coat of arms

There isn’t an official Munchkin Wrangler coat of arms.  If I were to design one, it would probably be two dachshunds holding a shield that shows a K-frame S&W, a lowball glass, a fountain pen, and a diaper.

does alphasmart neo have standard size keyboard

The Neo has a full-sized keyboard made under contract by Samsung, and it’s the best laptop-style keyboard I’ve ever used.  I can type faster and more accurately on the Neo than on any other keyboard save the IBM Model M.


Is Monday! is new Search Term Safari!  Rejoice briefly!


10 thoughts on “monday search term safari XCVIII.

  1. John Stephens says:

    Sword canes – perverse, but not stupid. Many places that prohibit firearms (such as the local University) have no such restrictions on blades. Two or three feet of steel has more of a deterrent effect than the six inches or so you can fit in a pocket.

    • Tam says:

      The problem being that most “sword canes” sold today are rattly, ill-assembled, 440C abortions that put the wielder in danger of losing an eye when they shatter spectacularly upon being used to actually stab or slash something.

    • RevolverRob says:

      The trouble with swords (and subsequently sword canes), is that like other good non-firearm type weapons they are banned in most places.

      The other thing I will say, is that I saw anyone, besides someone with gray hair, a noticeable limp or a cast on, and it’s not Halloween, carrying around a cane of walking stick. I would probably immediately think, “Cane gun or sword.”

      Both of which would prompt me to call the local constabulary, given that both are very, very illegal in my area. Maybe it’s just a cane, but if I see a 21 year old dude carrying around a walking stick with no noticeable physical handicap, I’m gonna have the cops come by and check it out, cause that ranks way up on my “Damn suspicious” meter.


      • Ian Argent says:

        I’d skip the sword and just make sure I have a solid stick. Don’t have to worry about legality or not of sword-cane; and a blunt instrument makes almost as good a weapon for social encounters.

        (My wife at one point *did* need a walking stick, and chose one that was dual-purpose. It’s surprising how many security drones don’t even blink when you sashay in with 3-4 ft of hickory attitude adjuster)

  2. Gregg says:

    They are not available in Cincinnati. In order to find the type of shop you are referring to one needs to head out of Hamilton County. There was a somewhat decent medieval weapons shop on Mainstrasse in Covington Ky once upon a time. (Just over the river, before the woods) Admittedly the owner was a bit … off.

  3. MarkHB says:

    “wats a good site for kitty porn”


  4. Mark Alger says:


    I might gently recommend greater circumspection. (Even suspect that you really do exercise it and that your post engages in a little hyperbole.)

    I use a cane upon occasion, when my back is acting up. But I can walk with a nearly normal gait for some distance. I will carry my cane when I anticipate the need to go a distance beyond my capacity.

    Were you to initiate an assault on me by law enforcement on an occasion you saw me carrying my cane, but walking (apparently) normally, you may rest assured there would be a tortious response.

    Of course, my salt-and-pepper (mostly salt) hair might betray my true condition in another fashion. ::grin::


  5. Jay G. says:

    At the shoot (not to rub it in), one of the guns brought by Matt was a Beretta 85F with a can.

    Didn’t get a chance to shoot it, but I had a very similar thought to yours – why on earth ruin a perfectly good carry gun like that?

    Then I realized, duh, BECAUSE HE CAN… 🙂

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