a concept for a kiddie TV show.

Title: “Distillation Station”

Genre: Children’s Television (Pre-K)

Logline: The zany adventures of Mister Hooch and his friends, as they hang out at Distillation Station and have run-ins with the grumpy old Temperance who lives across the street.


Mister Hooch–an anthropomorphic Martini glass.  He has a half-sibling called Shakey No-Stir, who makes occasional cameos on the show.

Señor Caramba–the 100% agave tequila bottle, Mister Hooch’s wacky Mexican neighbor.

Abby Sinthe–Señor Caramba’s French girlfriend.

Becky Seagram–the cheerleader who lives in apartment 2A.

Chad Appletini–Becky’s gay roommate.

Vern and Vera Mooth–the retired couple.  They’re mostly bitter, but mix well with others.

Signor Sambuca–Distillation Station’s short-order cook. He gets lit on fire in every episode.

Olive–the stuffed jalapeno olive who has a secret crush on Mister Hooch.

Johnny Kirschwasser–exchange student from Europe.  He’s a deceptively easy-going little guy who packs a punch.

Pruno–the ex-con who lives in the little apartment by the basement stairs.

Carrie Cosmo–the stuck-up yuppie clothes-rack everyone professes to hate. Half the male characters secretly like her, but wouldn’t admit it to their pals.

Horst and Schorsch, the Apfelkorn Brothers–immigrants from Germany.  They hang out uninvited in Monsieur Pernod’s apartment a lot.

Monsieur Pernod–loves licorice, chain-smokes filterless Gauloises, and hates the Apfelkorn brothers.

Mr. Dickel–the retired teacher from Tennessee.

The Master Distiller–the benevolent grandfather figure who runs Distillation Station. The other characters come to him for advice, guidance, and liquid refreshments. (Producer’s Note: to be cast with an older British pop star.)

Title song (to be commissioned):  “Distillation Station, where it’s all about inebriation…”

(Some character ideas courtesy of the people unlucky enough to have friended me on Facebook.)


10 thoughts on “a concept for a kiddie TV show.

  1. ericasherman says:

    Enjoying those summertime cocktails a bit much, eh?

  2. MarkHB says:

    Must not… load… animation software….

  3. Groundhog says:

    Sounds like a potential hit to me. Sandwich it between the Simpsons and The Family Guy. I’m pretty sure PBS wouldn’t want to put it on right after Sesame Street but you never know. These days anything is possible.

  4. Nick says:

    I’d watch it.

  5. Lissa says:

    I can’t believe Mr. Daniels doesn’t get a cameo!

  6. Ancient Woodsman says:

    “Mister Hooch–an anthropomorphic Martini glass.” Um, that right there is a bit of a warning sign…maybe you should stop contributing to the state coffers at their liquid storefront for just a few days.

    On the other hand, I do believe the concept would be a rousing success. I am interested tot he point that my first train of thought was, “Maybe M. Pernod would be a bit happier if he’d stop his knee-jerk shouting of ‘Je capitule!’ every time the Apfelkorn Brothers just happen to stop by.”

  7. Fred2 says:

    Your forgot: Ivan Slivovitz the eastern european immigrant witha harsh accent and a boxer’s demeanour who has a large fruit garden.

  8. Carl says:

    …and you can have some special lovable returned-from-exile visits with Joe Camel and Spuds McKenzie, as well as new friends Phil E. Blunt, Crystal Meth, and Barbie Chuate!

  9. Antibubba says:

    You’ll need an episode with Bud Weiser, who mucks out the stalls at a nearby stable.

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