things you don’t want to hear as a gun shop clerk.

When I was back in college down in Tennessee, I worked as a Merchant of Death(tm)…sales clerk in a Knoxville gun shop. 

Contrary to uninformed mainstream media belief, gun shops don’t just sell artillery to anyone who walks through the door.  The B.S. about “unregulated gun purchases” is just that.  (Fun fact: Guns are the only consumer product sold in the United States that require a federal background check for every single transaction.)

Above and beyond the background check, gun salesmen usually exercise their common sense when dealing with customers.  When you work behind that counter for any length of time, you tend to develop a finely honed radar for people that you know shouldn’t be walking out of your store with a firearm.

Here are some questions and remarks that will raise a red flag at the gun store:

  • “Can I buy, like, just one bullet?”
  • “Say, do you know what time the bank across the street opens?”
  • “You got anything that will go through a bulletproof vest? Like, the kind cops wear?”
  • “Phased plasma rifle in the forty-watt range.”
  • “I’ll take this one…according to prophecy.”
  • “I’ll need a few more magazines for that, too.  Let’s see who gets laid off today, huh?”
  • “The voices say I want that Remington pump-action.”
  • “Uh, you guys need, like, I.D. for buying a gun?”
  • “I need something for…deer. Yeah, a deer.  A cheatin’, no-good slut of a deer.”
  • “Will this pistol show on a metal detector? Say, at an airport?”
  • “I need something with a scope. The anti-psychosis meds make me too loopy for iron sights.”
  • “I need a what to buy a fully automatic weapon? I’m law enforcement! I work the tactical team at Pheasant Lane Mall!”
  • “So, is this rifle easy to convert to full-auto?  Just a bit of file work, right?”
  • “I want some practice targets.  You got any that are shaped like squad cars?”
  • “Can I just rent this thing for a few hours?”

(On a serious note: I’ve refused sales, either directly or by diversion, to people who just gave off the wrong sort of vibe, even before running the background check.  Despite the common misconception that gun shops are just indiscriminately selling killing instruments with no consideration for anything but profit, most gun shop owners and employees have absolutely no interest in arming violent criminals or nutcases.  It’s bad for business–never mind your own conscience–if one of your shop’s guns is used the next day for a mass killing.

56 thoughts on “things you don’t want to hear as a gun shop clerk.

  1. Jon says:

    Cheatin’ no good slut of a deer!!! ROFL

  2. abnormalist says:

    At a gun shop a bout a year ago during the “Great Obama Fear Ammunition Shortage” I was looking at a little Kel-Tec P3AT as a pocket gun, and I asked the clerrk if they had any 380 other than the very expensive defensive ammunition. He said “No, but you could always try loading it up with the 9mm and see how that goes”. I put the gun down, and left that store never to return.

    Another time walking around at Cabela’s a while ago, a guy asked me “Do you think I can use these 357 magnum rounds in my 357 sig? They’re a bunch cheaper, and they’re both 357 right? The guy at the counter said it should work”

    I replied “I really think you should just sell your 357 sig before you do something stupid and kill yourself or someone else. Only put 357 sig, in a 357 sig, and 357 magnum in a 357 magnum. Besides, its a revolver round and an automatic. It wouldn’t even fit in the magazine”

    Not all gun shop employees have any idea what they are doing, and many are a set of dangers all their own.

  3. Ancient Woodsman says:

    “What does ‘adjudicated’ mean? ‘Cause I’ve never heard it from a judge, but my psychiatrist thinks I’m loopy as hell.” That was the worst I heard in my time behind the counter.

    Something you don’t want to hear from your boss is, “Here, clean this one up,” when it is a purchase from the family of a recently deceased, and there’s…uh…’evidence’ still around the muzzle of that 1911.

    I was alone with another clerk one morning when the local PD came in with a warrant for his arrest for a violent crime. That was interesting.

    As junior guy there’s the bad vibe you get when certain folks walk in the door and suddenly all the senior sales staff manages to go on break, leaving you alone with the whackjob.

    Those were the days, all in the 80s and long past. Thank God.

  4. Jay G. says:

    Heh. Pheasant Lane Mall.

  5. Sigivald says:

    “Can I buy, like, just one bullet?”

    Unless it’s followed up with “in each of these calibers, for my display”.

    In which case that’s awesome (if hard to accommodate), not troubling.

    (I only use “according to the prophecy” in bug fix notices, myself.)

  6. RevolverRob says:

    Having been a Merchant of Death myself, I will add that I too denied my fair share of sales due to behavior. More than once I denied someone who was drunk, who gave the wrong vibe, and once to a man who turned out to have Alzheimers (he was very disoriented, kept complaining some woman was stealing his guns and the police wouldn’t do anything, and couldn’t tell me what month it was).

    In 3 years of death dealing, I sold only one firearm to a person who was ever convicted of being a felon (arrested and convicted after I sold the gun). The felony was theft, when the purchaser bought the gun on a credit card and then stopped paying on it, not a violent crime.

    -Rob

  7. TCK says:

    Has anyone actually used that “according to the prophecy” line? It sounds awesome; you can use it for grocery shopping, guns, anything really.

  8. Rusty P. Bucket says:

    but…but munchkin! That isn’t very nice and libertarian! Your punishing people for things they might do! Based soley on your own ethics and morals! Yo ur no better than those evil christian conservatives!

    I suppose I should t be rude because acting in good conscience is something most libertarans aren’t very good at. There is hope for you yet.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      I see it’s Internet Day at Dementia Acres again.

      • Rusty P. Bucket says:

        Ha ha ha! I like you kid.

        Being dementid has its charms I can tell the cops to FOAD and not get zapped with those taser s, I can tell the Old Bitch down the road shes a cunned stunt, and I can shamelessly spoil your children while tormenting their parents. If you had any sense young fella you would be envious of all the perks i got. .

    • Caleb says:

      How is a business exercising their right to chose with whom they conduct business not libertarian again?

      • Kristopher says:

        In P. Bucket’s world, “libertarian” is an all purpose pejorative.

        Any actual meaning the word has is an irritating encumbrance to be ignored.

  9. Rick O' Shea says:

    OK, I’m genuinely curious. How do you go about telling someone that you’re not going to sell to them based on your gut feeling about them?
    Note: Not being critical. I think it’s a great idea and the only responsible way to conduct these kind of transactions. I would do the same myself. I guess that’s why I’m interested in how (generally – I know every situation is different) you do it.
    In a bar, you don’t think twice about the bartender exercising his or her judgement and refusing a sale, but in a retail establishment?
    Sounds tricky.

    • Rusty P. Bucket says:

      It’s not tricky at all rick. at some point all ideologys fail and you have to go with your own personal morals and ethics. It isnt always fair but life is seldom fair. The moral of this story to me is that if you want a gun you had better look like a responsible citizen that doesn’t scare the chit out of the gun clerk. Or the cop if you are filling out a permit for con cealed carry.

      I am not griping either I agree with the lad and what he did. a libertarian nignog would argue that he did something wrong when all he was was a responsible citizen doing his civic duty.

      • Kristopher says:

        A libertarian will not attempt to dictate to a person who he can or cannot sell his property to.

    • Haji says:

      Ya just gotta have spine enough to say so. “Sorry sir, I don’t feel comfortable selling you this firearm.” The BATFE expects that of FFL holders. That’s easier to do in some places than others. I can do that in KY with no blowback. I’m not sure it’d work the same way on the coasts. It falls under “We reserve the right to refuse service.”

    • Miguel says:

      I would personally lie my butt off.
      – “Sorry sir your paperwork came back as ‘denied.’ ”
      – “But I am a cop!”
      – “That explains it.”

  10. Al T. says:

    Rick, the mechanics are pretty simple. I’d always get the manager involved and explain my misgivings to the customers face. Now that we have NICS as a background check, most clerks will just explain that NICS gave them a delay – when in fact NICS was never called. And then never call the customer back. Guys in my favorite gun store call this the “permanent delay” effect.

    • Matt says:

      Al,

      This is a dangerous tactic because the law requires that if NICS doesn’t return a response within 3 days the transfer can legally proceed. There is no “permanent delay” and if someone ever called you on it as a shop owner you could be in deep trouble. What would you do then if the customer called back and said “It’s been 3 days and NICS hasn’t replied. Give me my gun.”. Or worse, you tell them it was denied when it was never called in. The law permits an appeals process to the state agency who runs the check to protest wrongful denials.

      Anyone on the receiving end of NICS “delay” responses are often pretty aware of how the process works.

      I wouldn’t be gambling on the ignorance of customers like this. As someone who has received all three possible responses from NICS in the course of buying guns as a consumer I know the process very well. You wouldn’t want someone like me calling out your shop for lying like that. State police departments don’t have a sense of humor in that area either.

      • Tam says:

        Matt,

        The technical term for the scenario you describe, at least back in TN, is a “conditional proceed”. It means that the state feels hinky, and won’t give you a ‘yes’, but they can’t give you a legal ‘no’, either.

        In that case, if you transfer the firearm, you are opening yourself to a world of civil liability. I have turned down blood relatives of my boss, the FFL holder hisself, because of a ‘conditional proceed’. If the FFL holder wants to make that call and risk his livelihood, that’s up to him, but I ain’t gonna do it, not even for his mom.

      • Al T. says:

        State has zilch to do with it here. No idea about other states. Telling someone they were denied would be stupid. Never heard of that one.

        As for it’s been three days, well, good luck with that. I checked around and no gunshop here will release with out an approval from NICS. Happens all the time. Frankly, if I was still working in the biz, I probably wouldn’t either.

        • Tam says:

          FWIW, TN goes through TICS, not NICS.

          By the end of three days, you will have a “Proceed”, “Denied”, or a “Conditional Proceed”. Only the first of those three will get a gun out of my hands and into a customer’s.

  11. […] I jump into this, I’d like to link to Marko’s “Things You Don’t Want To Hear as a Gun Shop Clerk” post, just as a counterpoint to the WP’s series. It’s bad for business–never mind […]

  12. Al Terego says:

    Not too long ago the only thing between firepower and a nutjob was a clerk with some sense…4473’s were but a formality as a string of “no’s” had to be taken as gospel. NICS has all but eliminated the active discernment in a transaction; most clerks run the check and that’s that. So is that an improvement? You tell me.

    I’m someone who despises all manner and method of GOV gun control, including NICS and even the 4473. But a sharp businessman with not just a conscience but a concern for his own longevity is a better buffer to keep the tools of deadly force out of the hands of those who shouldn’t have it than anything gov could ever devise.

    “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.” That used to be a phrase put to very good use in the gun biz. But try that shit today when a customer has produced the proper documentation, properly completed his form, and gotten an “A” at the end of his NICS number, and you’re cruising for a lawsuit, or worse. And whoever suggested lying to someone that they got a “C” on an FBI check when they didn’t? Sets you up for serious trouble, financial ruin, and maybe even federal criminal prosecution when not just the ditzy customer but also fedgov itself join forces against you.

    Just one of many reasons I will never hold an FFL again.

    AT

  13. Al T. says:

    “eliminated the active discernment in a transaction”

    Have to completely disagree with that statement, at least as practiced at various gun shops here. It’s much easier now than before to tell a customer that it’s not his actions or statements (though it really was), it was the mean ol’guberment that put him on (permanent) delay. Totally eliminates any interpersonal issues right there. Most (all?) retail stores here will not transfer the gun unless an active proceed is given by NICS. Add that to the vastly increased emphasis on avoiding straw purchases and getting the firearm from an FFL can be much harder now.

    • Al Terego says:

      Al to Al: Not sure if you actually read and understood my comment; try again with the knowledge that by “discernment”, I meant on the part of the dealer, not the NICS. And I bemoaned the loss of the former to the latter, especially in mass outlets where the employee is so removed from ownership and liability and personal responsibility; they don’t give a rat’s ass if the buyer is Osama himself as long as he has passable docs and aces the big test.

      I hadn’t realized it was you who advocated using fake results on a federal app to dissuade buyers *you* profile as undesireable. If you’re sure a potential buyer should and is going to be rejected, run the check and give him the news; it’s out of your hands. But if you’ve made up your mind that you’re not selling this dude a gun regardless of the NICS results, then man up and tell him you think he’s been drinking, or he’s buying for someone else, or just acting erratic – whatever you think it is that disqualifies him from his Constitutional rights and is in the best interest of your employer – and “interpersonal issues” be damned. Do NOT lie to him that his background check was a negative to avoid taking responsibility for the active and intelligent operation of a sensitive and potentially dangerous business; aside from the moral issues, what the fuck is going to happen when he appeals?

      And my friend, if you think the so-called “crackdown on straw purchasers” is somehow a positive thing that helps dealers stay on the side of right, you better do some reading about that term as it relates to some good and innocent businessmen and a Nazi Jew (not being anti-semitic here; quite the opposite) politician from New York.

      AT

      • Al T. says:

        Ah, I see the issue now. Here in South Kackalacky, we have several smaller gun shops where there is indeed a filter applied to the purchaser. Our one big box store does so as well, so what you are seeing where you are is not what I’m seeing here.

        As far as manning up, few of the part time counter commandos (like most of society) are actually willing to “just say no”.🙂 As you may not be aware, NICS can give one of three answers when you call a 4473 in – go, delay or no go. If it’s a delay, after three working days, the FFL holder can transfer anyway. I am not aware of anybody here that will do so. Delays cannot be appealed. When I was behind the counter, if we didn’t get a “Go” after a few days and the customer was still interested (no other issues), we would resubmit the 4473 for approval. If the clerk tells the customer that he is delayed, it’s not confrontational for the clerk and puts that filter in place. There is no statutory reason to call it in if your not planning to sell anyway.

        As for straw purchases, it’s more of an issue than you may think, at least, once again, here. The clerk has to be on their toes to protect the business and still provide service to customers.

        As to what I would do or have done when I was one of the counter commandos, you are doing some projecting based on my reporting of my local reality.🙂

        • Al Terego says:

          “Now that we have NICS as a background check, most clerks will just explain that NICS gave them a delay – when in fact NICS was never called.”

          That ain’t “projection”, it’s federally prosecutable fraud.

          And though it may have changed in the five or so years I’ve been out from behind the counter (FFL from 1978-2005), “C’s” (conditional non-approvals subject to delay) are followed up with orders to convert to an “A” (approval) or an “N” (non-approval) and the dealer is required to notify the customer of the result.

          Back to the “straw man”; that term is about as accurate, well-defined, and subject to gerrymander as “gunshow loophole” or “assault weapon”, but with far more potential for disaster for the dealer.

          AT

        • Al T. says:

          Once again, your reality totally conflicts with mine. We only phoned in our NICS checks, so no idea about the online process.

          “That ain’t “projection”, it’s federally prosecutable fraud.”

          Well, that’s just a stupid ignorant statement. You don’t actually understand anything much from definitions to US code. Suspect your dementia is getting the better of you, check your meds.

        • Al Terego says:

          Since the referenced quote is undeniably yours, apparently your “reality” conflicts with well, actual reality.

          Commit all the federal fraud and usurpation of gov function you want for yourself, but suggesting others do the same is irresponsible, reprehensible, and wrong.

          Your last paragraph suggests the level of your intelligence; an inability to debate and defend one’s position and pretend-knowledge without resorting to crass name-calling is the quintessential evidence of a weak case and weaker mind.

          But here’s one last chance for redemption: maybe you’d like to quote that “US code” you speak of, that says it’s a great idea and hunky-dory – to while acting as defacto agent for fedgov – falsify mandated forms and results as a wimp-out method of denying a person his Constitutional rights.

          AT

  14. […] has his list of things you don’t want to hear as someone that works in a gun shop.  In a fun bit of role reversal, here is a short list of things you don’t want to hear from […]

  15. Chuck Bennett says:

    I was waiting at the counter at a gun store when the kid in front of me asked the clerk.

    “What is the cheapest gun you have”

    The salesman sort of blinked and I noticed several heads swivel to look at the kid. I guess it falls into the “things that make you go hummm” catagory

  16. Außenseiter says:

    What’s wrong with the plasma rifle in the 40 watt range? That’s airgun power. Certainly less powerful than the Drozd automatic airgun.

    40 watts is 40 joules per second. A .22lr punches out 180J with each shot. That’s 4+ times that plasma gun.

    That cute little .22LR SMG has an output of 6 kilowatts, effective. That’s dangerous. And you can work out what’s the power rating of a minigun. Probably at least a hundred kilowatt…

  17. j t bolt says:

    “Whadayamean, a one week waiting period?! I’m drunk and angry NOW!!!”

  18. mariner says:

    A friend of mine has been a Merchant of Death for almost as long as I’ve been breathing.

    One evening he told me of the time he refused to sell a revolver to a customer. He told the owner, “If I sell him that gun he’s going to kill himself with it.”

    The owner told him he couldn’t just refuse to sell. He told the owner he could and was; if the owner wanted the gun sold he could sell it himself.

    The owner did want the gun sold. The customer was in the news the next day.

    I asked my friend how he could know. My friend just shrugged his shoulders.

  19. RevolverRob says:

    It was always pretty easy to deny a sale. I have to sign a Federal form that says, “I believe it is not unlawful for me to sell, deliver, transport, or otherwise dispose of the firearms listed…” I would look at the customer and say, “I believe it IS unlawful for me to sell you this firearm today.”

    More than once I had a customer come unglued at me and it doesn’t matter. It’s MY choice to sign that form, it’s MY responsibility as a dealer to abide by Federal and State laws. If I did not feel that those laws would be followed, I would say no. I had customers get angry, “YOU CAN’T DENY MY RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS!” was always my favorite, actually you’re wrong there, Congress can make no law abridging your rights, me on the other hand? I can and did deny the right to purchase and bear firearms in MY business establishment.

    Usually, I lost a customer, but it’s okay, those were the customers I didn’t want.

  20. MarkHB says:

    Another one that’s good is making geometrical patterns with the 12 gague cartidges whilst singing “He’s got the whole world in his hand” over and over.

    In a monotone.

    Don’t forget to dribble. Just a bit.

  21. […] Marko, who has worked at a gun shop, has a rather tongue-in-cheek list. […]

  22. pdb says:

    “Hey, is the cafeteria near the clock tower open today, or should I pack a lunch?”

  23. Some years back, about 1989, there was a guy who was a bit crazy. And he had a felony conviction for having smashed up a bunch of parked cars with his pickup truck. And there was an outstanding felony arrest warrant for fraud that San Francisco P.D. mailed to him. (Yes, mailed to him.)

    He went out to buy a handgun. Old West Gun Room was the first place he went. The 15 day waiting period started. The crazy guy’s roommate saw the paperwork, called Old West, warned the owner, “This guy’s crazy. He should NOT have a gun.” The owner called Cal. DOJ’s background check system, told them what he was warned about. DOJ somehow didn’t find the felony conviction or outstanding warrant. Old West’s owner asked, “Can I refuse to sell him the gun?” DOJ said, “No. You must sell him the gun.”

    So the owner shortened the firing pin, so it would not fire–and refused to fix it. Instead, he offered crazy guy a full refund.

    He apparently managed to buy guns elsewhere. A few months later, crazy guy went on a rampage, holding lots of students hostage in a bar in Berkeley, ordering the guys to sexually abuse the blonde girls being held hostage. After 12 hours, Berkeley police finally went in, and some people died.

    You may not be able to stop crazy guy from getting a gun–but be like the owner of Old West Gun Room–and do your best.

  24. Justthisguy says:

    Well, I generally approve of using one’s spidey sense in situations like this, but as someone who probably has a touch of autism, I don’t trust neurotypicals to make that kind of judgment about me. People like me are likely more honest than the general run of folks, but get treated badly and not believed when we refuse to look you people in the eye. I’m all for objective standards, here.

    P.s. I had no problem when I filled out the 4473 and bought my used Marlin .22 rifle. This is Florida, where people like me seem more normal than most.

  25. Stan says:

    I was behind the desk one day when A younger couple came in. He asked for and handled the rifle, asked all the questions and tried to bring the price down and then they left. 10 Minutes later the woman came in said she wanted to buy it and I asked if it was for her and she said it was for her boyfriend. I explained company policy was that if it was a gift we would give her a gift certificate but the final owner would have to come in and fill out the 4473. She got pissed and left, neither of them ever came back.

    Another had his wife start filling out the paperwork in her name, I asked who the gun was for and he said it was for him. I told him he had to put his name on the 4473 then. He refused and I refused the sale. No blowback.

    You CANNOT tell me I HAVE to sell it and then arrest me for allowing what the government calls a straw man sale. As long as it is not based on color of the skin, gender or what ever other protected classes there may be I am legal.

    • SDN says:

      Stan, the problem is that if they are a member of a protected class, the burden of proof moves to YOU when it comes to motivation not being based on their membership.

  26. Gerry N. says:

    Fifteen or so years ago I was in my favorite gun shop drinking coffee and telling lies with the owner when a guy with a really good base tan and a Middle Eastern accent came in wanting to see some handguns. He seemed a little bit nervous and jumpy, and was looking around a lot. He asked some of the above red flag questions, which had me and the owner of the shop looking at each other and checking our sidearms. Turned out he was a Canadian “Landed Immigrant” from Lebanon, had never touched a gun in his life and was only curious. He spent over an hour, drinking coffee and asking intelligent questions, such as: “Do I need ID to buy a gun? What kind of ID? How do I get it? When I do, how many cartridges can I buy and own at one time?” that sort of thing. He was allowed to handle nearly every gun in the shop, much preferring the heft and feel of the .22 revolvers. Several years later, I got a call from the owner of the shop, he had received a letter from the guy inviting us both to his US Citizenship Ceremony. We’re not close, but we go shooting at a local gravel pit every couple of months. He is, if anything, more conservative than I am, and he votes.

  27. Hal Brown says:

    Whatever method is used, I applaud the shop owner who has the balls to refuse a sale to a nut case, or anyone who shouldn’t own a gun for whatever reason.

    I’m all for gun rights, but with qualifications. A couple of days ago I was shooting at the local (outdoor) pistol range. A guy’s pistol simply fell apart in his hands. The shooter next to him helped him with the “parts.” A cease fire was called, and several of us bent to the ground looking for his recoil spring. We found it, the guy dumped his “parts” in a box and left.

    As it turns out, this guy had bought his pistol from an old lady who was recently widowed. He knew nothing about guns – never fired one in his life. He didn’t even know the caliber (it was a .32). The shooter next to him had showed him the basics of shooting prior to his firing the first time. How he even bought ammo I don’t know.

    After he left we discussed how scary this is. A know-nothing (at least in OH) can legally buy a gun from someone with no BG check at all. I have often wondered how many people like this are gun owners. And I have no reasonable idea how this should be regulated or even if it should.

    Personally, I’m for NRA training before owning a gun. Or, some sort of proof that even a modicum of gun responsibility (especially safety) is known buy the buyer.

    • Al Terego says:

      Hal, that would all seem quite reasonable and prudent…and that’s the problem.

      Profiling on the part of the seller (someone else in comments called it “spidey-sense”) is as much a matter of self-preservation as anything else. In this litigious world the parties to any business transaction had better proceed with both eyes open, and of course especially when dealing with something that could be dangerous in the wrong hands.

      Beyond that, though, it is always good to remember the words of the philosopher R. White who said “you can’t fix stupid”. And you sure as fuck can’t legislate it either.

      Because what you see as reasonable and prudent, others (that would be me) might see as restrictive and prohibitive…and someone gets to decide. That’s the rub, and it’s also quite literally what the Second Amendment is all about.

      AT

      • Hal Brown says:

        Well said. Better to suffer fools and evil than give up the right of self defense. However, individual judgment with specific cases, in my opinion is in order. I would never knowingly sell or give a gun to anyone I thought might use it in an evil way. I’ve seen (in the army) what bullets can do to the human body. Guess I’m a little uneasy about idiots with guns.
        Nevertheless, I agree with you (and the great R. White). You can’t fix stupid.

  28. Shootin' Buddy says:

    “Vibe” is Southern for hue a person’s skin, right?

    Libertarism: everyone should do what they want, unless they make me feel uncomfortable.

    • Tam says:

      Yeah, and you sold guns to some guy who filled out the 4473 as “J. Dillinger” and kept saying “C’mon, c’mon! The bank closes at five!” back when you were selling guns in college.

      This is me, rolling my eyes.

    • Tam says:

      “Vibe” is Southern for hue a person’s skin, right?

      Ooh, wait… there’s a legal term for what you wrote there… can’t remember it… hang on… rhymes with “bible”…

    • SDN says:

      You can want to buy a gun all you want. “Freedom of Association” means that I can refuse to sell it to you if I want. You’ll just have to keep going until your want to buy intersects with someone else’s want to sell.

      And I’ve never been able to define the hue of an *ssh*le. Can I get some firsthand expertise?

  29. Shootin' Buddy says:

    How does one rationalize “vibe” with reason and science?

    Maybe the moon was rising in the House of Nathan Bedford Forrest, I say, I say?

    Oh, reason and science.

    • Tam says:

      Well, my reason and science tells me that the person who is all sweaty and asks for “only one bullet” maybe doesn’t need a gun today.

      Hopefully some other gun store clerk’s spiritual intuition would have led them to the same conclusion as my reason and science.

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