a glimpse into hef’s private bordello.

This article on life in the Playboy mansion makes me want to scrub myself down with lye.

There’s absolutely nothing about Hefner’s little fantasy fulfillment lifestyle that isn’t icky to the extreme–and I say that while having no Puritan hang-ups about sex whatsoever.  What Hugh Hefner practices is not a “sexy” lifestyle.  A guy who pays a harem of twenty-something women to sleep with him and give the world (and himself) the illusion that he’s some sort of bon-vivant stud is not sexy.  It’s just an old, sad, pajamas-wearing, Viagra-popping dude who likes to have sex with pneumatic blondes, and who built a business around the fulfillment of that desire.   At the end of the day, the fact remains that he has to pay for sex.

On a side tangent, this shows how silly, arbitrary, and misogynistic our prostitution laws are.  What happens at the Playboy mansion isn’t legally speaking prostitution, even though it involves a guy paying women to live and have sex with him for $1,000 in pocket money a week and a chance to become a centerfold.  If those women walked out of the Playboy Mansion, went to the next shopping mall, and offered some random stranger sexual favors for $1k a week, they’d be arrested for prostitution.  Where exactly is the difference here–other than the fact that it’s the male initiating and controlling the transaction here, and not the woman?

Like I said–lye scrubdown.  Living in a place with soiled mattresses and dog shit on the carpet, to be on sexual standby for an octogenarian man-child who probably never got a woman interested in him without the prospect of money or career advancement?  Ick, ick, a thousand times ick.  I think any streetwalker is far more respectable than any member of Hef’s harem…at least straight-up hookers don’t practice self-deception about what they do for a living.

17 thoughts on “a glimpse into hef’s private bordello.

  1. Well, Hef is certainly qualified to be the Prime Mister of Italy….

  2. GD says:

    Hey, $50K/year tax-free cash, plus free healthcare (plastic surgery is “healthcare”, right?) ain’t a bad gig for some.

    • Andrew Sarchus says:

      I haven’t read the article, but I suspect that the IRS and the CA Dept of Revenue would call that taxable income.

  3. libertyman says:

    Hefner is an irrelevant loser and an embarrassment to men everywhere. Does anyone read Playboy anymore? Maybe that Congressman who just resigned ? He would fit right in.

    Ick to Hefner and the Congressloser too.

  4. Dave_H says:

    Yuck!. That will harsh the mellow for anyone looking at their old playboys. Knowing seedy crap was going on vs. having actual detailed accounts of it is a difference maker.

  5. johnmxl says:

    Prostitution isn’t paying for sex – it’s paying for her to leave after sex.

    MARRIAGE is paying for sex. (Apologies to those with a less cynical view than mine on the institution of marriage…I’ve been institutionalized for over two decades.)

    Why is it that I can sell the use of my skills and body to an employer as a mechanic and it’s considered a noble trade, while a woman who sells her skills and body is considered a criminal?

  6. John B says:

    It’s all a sad joke, my roomie’s daughter wants a bunny tattoo.
    I can color between the lines, and know enough about shading to pull it off…
    …But I’d still want to take a bath in clorox afterwards.

    Sort of like a girl asking for a tattoo of “Bond Woman” or “Obama Girl”…

  7. perlhaqr says:

    I dunno, I have to admit I found the whining in the article more annoying than the concept of what Hef is doing (though, apparently, the execution leaves much to be desired).

    “We had a curfew! It was more strict than when I was living with me parents! Wah!”

    Well, if you don’t like it, quit for fuck’s sake!

    As for the girl who got invited to join the Playboy Mansion Harem, and then was shocked, shocked to discover that she was expected to sleep with Hef in exchange for that thousand dollars a week… Seriously, WTF were you thinking went on at the Playboy Mansion? Candyland and Monopoly tournaments?

  8. Kristopher says:

    Of course they have a curfew. Hef doesn’t want his bunnies fucking anyone else.

    Just another version of the hollywood casting couch.

  9. Fred2 says:

    Yeah, I really can’t worked up about this. Or even disgusted particularly. (and not attracted to it either, has anybody else seen the “girls next door” “reality” series… read between the lines.)

    These girls are not innocent babes in the woods and most of them are doing this as cold-calculated “career” move. In so far as fairly pretty not so smart girls have careers, this is probably less stressful than most options.

    Older wealthy guys having younger “girlfriends” who stay around for $$ and gifts ( ok, officially not, ut somehow when the money quits, they leave.) Unheard of! Shocking!

    I am shocked that playboy mansion parties still attract so many celebrities though.

  10. Cack says:

    Hmmpff. You proudly proclaim you have no hang ups about sex and unload on some old fart banging young bimbos. It’s ‘icky’ dontcha know…

    But a couple of Sanfran butt blasters in the gay bath house is just ‘good clean fun’.

    To me, with my old fashioned unfashionable morals and ethics it looks like a double standard. The mind wobbles.

    Marko one day you will be ‘old’ too. Lol, and I will never be gay, thank gawd.

  11. LabRat says:

    Rusty can change his name as often as he wants and it’ll still be the same ol’.

    His poop fetish seems to be growing, though.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      Well, you know. His health insurance package probably doesn’t include more than one change of Depends per day at Dementia Acres, so it’s understandable that poop is on his mind.

  12. whamprod says:

    Great Shades of Schadenfreude! I’m a self-confessed prude. Thus I have no cognitive dissonance when I say, “I told yah so!” But I sure am enjoying it….😀

    When I first heard this story, my first thought was, “Why am I not surprised?”

  13. Holly says:

    Upper-class sex workers set their own hours and rent their own apartments. And make better money to boot. This is a way worse deal. Probably fewer total sexual demands, though.

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