free: ten thousand cubic feet of snow. local pickup only.

Yes, this is the Snow Belt.  Yes, moving to New England and complaining about snow in winter is like going to Mickey D’s and complaining about finding hamburgers on the menu.

But this winter, it’s getting a bit ridiculous:


We have ten acres of land, and most of them are covered in snow three feet deep or more. If I wanted to get ambitious, I could probably build a life-sized 500-foot Snow Cthulhu with the kids.


18 thoughts on “free: ten thousand cubic feet of snow. local pickup only.

  1. perlhaqr says:

    If I wanted to get ambitious, I could probably build a life-sized 500-foot Snow Cthulhu with the kids.

    I support this idea. 🙂

  2. skidmark says:

    You could always convert all that snow into something useful – like this

    Surprised you hadn’t done something like that already.

    stay safe.

  3. ScottM says:

    We have around 75 inches in the twin cities metro area putting us in the top ten snowiest winters. I keep thinking Texas would be saner.

    • LittleRed1 says:

      Bring the snow with you, please, please – we’re having raging wildfires out here on the steppes.

  4. Carl Adkins says:

    Hello Marko I read the article written by Oleg Volk in the USCCA magazine. Very good reading. Thanks for doing it.

    Are you on FaceBook ?

    I did have one small issue with what was said.

  5. MaddMedic says:

    Good Lord man!!
    Thats a lot of snow!!

  6. Al Terego says:

    Nice new layout. Clean, easy to read, etc.

    You lost your search widget a while back, I see you still haven’t found it…must have your reasons. And a preview function on comments is handy, but this new layout makes it less needed. I like it.


    • Marko Kloos says:

      Just for you: the return of the Search widget. Don’t let it be said I’m not responsive to reader requests.

      • Al Terego says:

        Thank you…but you greatly underestimate the popular demand for such a useful tool, and I think it will get broad use.

        And yes, I will do verbal battle with any who might say “Man, that Marko dude just is not responsive to reader requests…”.

  7. Larry says:

    Like the new layout. Thanks for the upgrade.

  8. Roberta X says:

    “Live Free and Freeze” 😉

  9. freddyboomboom says:

    The town I grew up in (in the US) averages 32 feet of snow per year.

    We wouldn’t shovel off the roof if there was less than 3 feet of snow on it…

    Your pictures look like early November, to me…

  10. ILTim says:

    Dear Diary: Ohio Winters:

    Aug. 12 – Moved into our new home in Ohio . It is so beautiful

    here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a

    beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see

    the change in the seasons. This is truly God’s Country.

    Oct. 14 – Ohio is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the

    real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude

    of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and

    yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the

    beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so

    graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on

    Earth. This must be paradise.

    Nov. 11 – Deer season opens this week. I can’t imagine why anyone

    would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very

    symbol of peace and tranquility here in Ohio . I hope it snows

    soon.. I love it here!

    Dec. 2 – It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful

    sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak

    tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and

    swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp,

    clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight.. I won, and the

    snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to

    the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the

    driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I

    love it here!

    Dec. 12 – More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute

    little trick again.. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love

    it here!

    Dec. 19 – More snow – couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to

    work in time. I’m exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

    Dec. 21 – More of that white shit coming down. I’ve got blisters

    on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow

    driver waits around the corner until I’m done shoveling the

    driveway.. Asshole.

    Dec. 25 – White Christmas? More freakin’ snow. If I ever get my

    hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I’ll

    castrate him. And why don’t they use more salt on these roads to

    melt this crap??

    Dec. 28 – It hasn’t stopped snowing since Christmas.. I have been

    inside since then, except of course when that SOB “Snowplow Harry”

    comes by. Can’t go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows.

    Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea

    how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

    Jan. 1 – Happy New Year? The way it’s coming down it won’t melt

    until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and

    the shithead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a

    shovel! I told him I’d broken 6 already this season.

    Jan.. 4 – Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get

    some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit

    the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts

    ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you

    ask me.

    Jan. 27 – Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the

    snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak

    tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have

    cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the


    March 23 – Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the

    whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn
    salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of
    rusted cow shit.

    May 10 – Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida . I can’t

    imagine why anyone in their freakin’ mind would ever want to live

    in the God forsaken State of Ohio.

  11. ILTim says:

    Ah, here’s the version I remember, from someone a bit more northerly…

    December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

    December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole World? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

    December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. l don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man I’m glad he’s our neighbor.

    December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8″ last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.

    December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska, after all.

    December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.

    December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

    December 20: Electricity’s back on, but had another 14″ of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.

    December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he’s too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

    December 23: Only 2″ of snow today. And it warmed up to 0o. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s lying.

    December 24: 6″. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

    December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to kill her.

    December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.

    December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

    December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!

    December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

    December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9″ predicted.

    December 31: Set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.

    January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

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