c-store robbery fail.

Freelance tax collector tries to rob a convenience store in Derry, NH, and gets a face full of pepper spray in the process.  Then he drives off, runs his car against a utility pole, and is promptly picked up by the Derry Five-Oh.

The license plate on the car is from MA, by the way.  He probably figured the yokels in the sticks north of the border would be easier pickings than the ones in his home state.  That’s just what I’d do if I lived in a state with pretty onerous gun control laws…I’d cross the border and commit my robbery in a state where carry permits are $10 for four years, and issued to any non-felon who wants one.

I’m thinking about sending that store owner a thank-you card and a case of pepper spray…the tall boys that look like fire extinguishers.  (Pepper spray requires a Firearms ID card in MA, by the way.  They can’t just have people indiscriminately defending themselves against robbers, you see.  That way lies Wild West anarchy.  You know, like we have over here in New Hampshire.)

23 thoughts on “c-store robbery fail.

  1. Chang says:

    Yeah, I never understood why people couldn’t carry pepper spray in MA. Yet another dumb law there. However, less taxes than Maine. Go figure.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      They can actually carry it legally, but they can’t buy or carry any without a FOID.

      MA has a lower tax rate than Maine? Really? What are you Mainers doing with all that cash? Building cathedrals for schools?

      • perlhaqr says:

        Yumpin’ Yoisus. Can we just give MA back to England already?

      • jimbob86 says:

        “MA has a lower tax rate than Maine? Really? What are you Mainers doing with all that cash? ”

        Only 1.3 million people. Not enough to spread the burden of a welfare state around on without high taxes …… yet they insist on taking refugees from everywhere and subsidizing illegal immigrants …… very similar situation to what we have here in Nebraska …….. Maine just has a longer winter, more snow, more trees, and they talk funny. And some short mountains, IIRC.

  2. phillytyper says:

    <>

    If only this was true. Criminals aren’t deep thinkers.

    As someone who’s been assaulted in Philadelphia, New York, Barcelona, New Jersey, and a few other places, I’m here to tell you that in 95% of the street hassles I’ve been in, a gun would have been worse than useless–unless I pulled it presto and shot the person closest to me without regard for my being prosecuted later.

    If you’re scary and determined looking and male, a gun might make you more so–but if not, most criminals will take it off you. So if you want your wife and kids to be safe in this alternative “everybody has a gun world” — you have two choices:
    1) shadow them everywhere, with the holster unbuckled and the safety off.

    2) Change their personalities so that they can say, “I will shoot you, bleeper” at the drop of a hat, and make sure they put their hand on their weapon whenever anyone could pose a potential threat. Not sure I want to live with those people.

    Sure once, in a while, the bad guys will stand a nice, neat 20 feet away and say, “Im’a Kill You.’ and give you time to pull a weapon and threaten to ventilate them.

    But street crime doesn’t happen that way.

    Thought to ponder — the police wear distinctive uniforms. The bad guys know they’re armed. Yet the cops constantly have to use force in cities big and small. I’ve watched people face down a guy with a gun, so I know it can be done.

    I’ve interceded in crimes a number of times…. lately I’m less likely to get involved because there are so many guns out there. And no, I’m not going to start carrying, so that I can jump into the middle of things with a handgun out and get shot by the cops, the bad guys or both.

    Mental state is important. I’ve had punk days where three big grade schoolers followed me, cursing, for blocks and sensed I wouldn’t do anything, and “low fear/impulse control” days, where I instinctively chased and tackled a purse snatched before he could blink. I’ve also had angry days, where if I had a gun, I might have shot the bus driver who gave me a hard time. At no point would a gun have helped me.

    Studies show that in wartime, soldiers who have trained extensively, mostly don’t fire their weapons–even when ordered to. It’s a lot harder to send a bullet into another person’s body without a lot of thought. Most civilians can’t pull it off. The brave talk that always surrounds gun debates reminds me of kids when we were growing up, psyching themselves up to fight, hoping they could find the aggression.

    This is my take, in which I leave out the Constitution and related documents, all of which were written by guys who owned people and could not conceive of our current world.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      “I’ve also had angry days, where if I had a gun, I might have shot the bus driver who gave me a hard time.”

      That’s kind of scary. You probably shouldn’t carry a gun, then. Just don’t make the mistake of projecting that sort of mental state on other people.

      I’ve been going armed for twenty years. I’ve had bad days where I was grouchy, and I’ve had days where I got really angry at someone. Not once did I feel the urge to pull out my weapon and end someone else’s life.

      As for the “guns are usless for self-defense and will be taken from you/used to shoot an innocent person”: check out the FBI statistics on defensive gun uses. People use guns hundreds of thousands of times every year for successful self-defense, in over 90% of cases without firing a shot at all (which is the most successful kind of self-defense–the kind that makes the criminal change his mind and run away without anyone getting hurt.)

      If a gun did more harm than good in the defense of self and others, cops wouldn’t need ’em, either. (And no, cops aren’t “highly trained” with their guns. Most of them shoot only the hundred-some rounds needed for annual qualification. I used to work in a cop shop, and I can tell you that the average cop trade-in pistol has extensive holster wear (from being banged around and holstered a thousand times), but pristine internals (from being shot very little.)

    • Tam says:

      If you’re scary and determined looking and male, a gun might make you more so–but if not, most criminals will take it off you.

      The tenacity of this tired meme is amazing, considering that it almost never happens.

  3. Alan Fisher says:

    As someone who’s been assaulted in Philadelphia, New York, Barcelona, New Jersey, and a few other places… Sounds like you have 2 or more problems: One, you project that you are an easy victim. Two, you have terrible situational awareness which leads back to “One”. A gun gives you options that you do not have without it. The options are yours to use or not.

  4. phillytyper says:

    Er, well, not that easy a victim–I’ve never given up a nickel, bud.

    I am (blame genes) 5′ 8″/ 150 lbs, caucasian, and have had prematurely white hair since about 30..l oh, and I wear glasses–perhaps that projects something. Wonder what your take is on being female or simply old, or maybe using crutches after a foot operation? They project such a easy victim vibe–they shoud stay home.

    Nice try with the situational awareness… so it was my fault I got on a half-empty trolley car at 2 pm on a weekeday… at the next stop, 30 high school kids get on. I am now the only caucasian on the trolley–a situation which I’ve been in hundreds of times without incident.

    I’d love to know your secret for projecting being an “uneasy victim” at this point– holograms? I had my usual subway face on, and my feet in a nice wide stance, and my old bookbag facing flap in. I did grow up in Southwest Philly, duh.

    This time however, I found myself getting hands stuck in my pockets, then was punched in the face and kicked in the back by at least two people behind me, I turned to face a bunch of happy looking kids–24 inches away–standing, not doing anything. Oh, so now I pull out a hand gun and shoot one of them randomly. Oh, please.

    I suppose I could have broken a window with the butt of my handgun and escaped the moving trolley like Bruce Willis.

    I’ll tell you what I did–I squeezed past a fat lady, and shoved her into the aisle like a dang cork. These kids wanted me. I pushed towards the front of the trolley–my plan was to sit in the driver’s lap and involve him somehow! as I neared the front, a huge pair of hands grabbed my shoulders. It was a big black guy (shoot, it’s all over I thought)… he was a working man in coveralls… he swept me to one side of him and said, “Stick here, man, till you get off.” He glared towards the back of the packed trolley… now one came forward.

    A stop or two later, the kids piled off. They’d taken the driver’s hat, who was pretty much helpless. What “options” would a gun have given me? I would have had to drill at least two high school kids point blank–for no reason–as I didn’t know who hit me.

    It’s strange that in all my years of living in crime-ridden Philadelphia (and other places) I’ve personally heard literally two stories of guns being used defensively. I think there’s a lot of friend of a friend bull floating around.
    Yeah, there are shop keepers who’ve outdrawn the bad guys–but for every one of them, there’s a dead shopkeeper who didn’t. Guns favor the aggressor in many urban situations.

    As far as the easy victim, I call bullshit on that. NO, I have lived in cities all my life, played in rock bands and gone to lots of clubs–translation — sometimes you end up in crummy neighborhoods late at night. Hey if you judge going out to club using some sort of risk analysis, why not just kill yourself?

    This pseudo-military/cop jargon about situational awareness is tiring. If some people want us to live as though we’re in Bagdhad, being “situationally aware” at all times, then what’s the use of living?

    Besides, man, the situation is one thing. Then what actually happens is another. I’ve been most scared when nothing happened and when something happens, you often have no effing clue. Trust me on this one.

    Personally, I’m glad I had a decent (and burly) fellow citizen on that trolley car in that tunnel, not a bunch of Chuck Norrises with handguns. And certainly, I know a hand gun would have been useless.

    Finally, why is it that gun folk always downplay cop’s abilities? I think they really pine for some imaginary western “state of nature” where those who spend the most time at the range and who chose their weapon most thoughtfully come out on top.

    Sadly, it doesn’t work out that way.

    Well, I’m off to bike to work, unarmed, wearing a pathetic little helmet and with only my wits to protect me. I like my odds.

    Wish me luck!

    sincerely,
    Michael McGettigan/philadelphia

  5. jimbob86 says:

    If you’re scary and determined looking and male, a gun might make you more so–but if not, most criminals will take it off you. So if you want your wife and kids to be safe in this alternative “everybody has a gun world” — you have two choices:
    “1) shadow them everywhere, with the holster unbuckled and the safety off.”

    Unnessary- But you can bet that when we go to town, I’m there, and so is the gun. In it’s holster, with the safety on.

    “2) Change their personalities so that they can say, “I will shoot you, bleeper” at the drop of a hat, and make sure they put their hand on their weapon whenever anyone could pose a potential threat. Not sure I want to live with those people.”

    I’m a father of 5, and am trying to mold their pesonalities so they will not only not swear at people, but not submit to outrageous demands on their person or property. I would think I had done my job as a parent well if one of my daughters was assaulted by a pervert and she, as Lawdog put it so well, “centerpunched his black heart out his spineless back” …… You don’t have to live with them…. and as you appear to be someone who is a perpetual victim, and is fine with that, I sincerely hope none of them choose to live with you: Being a victim is not laudable. It does not make you superior. It just makes you a victim.

  6. Marko Kloos says:

    Personally, I’m glad I had a decent (and burly) fellow citizen on that trolley car in that tunnel, not a bunch of Chuck Norrises with handguns. And certainly, I know a hand gun would have been useless.

    There’s an ugly and annoying stereotype: people who carry guns are Chuck Norris wannabes who are just itching for a chance to intervene and make the newspaper by blowing away the bad guys. Nobody I know fits that profile. The gun owners I know are all educated (the ones with a college degree vastly outnumber the ones without.) They’re parents, college professors, librarians, IT guys…you know, people like you and me. Very low camouflage and spittin’ terbaccy ratio.

    Finally, why is it that gun folk always downplay cop’s abilities?

    It’s not that we downplay cops’ abilities, it’s that the other side constantly talks them up. As if twelve weeks of shake-and-bake Law Enforcement Academy are going to magically bestow excellent marksmanship and judgement skills, to the point where “only cops should carry guns”. I have twenty years of experience in safe firearms handling, but also in life as an adult…you know, social skills, conflict avoidance, street smarts, that sort of thing. I don’t see why a twenty-something kid fresh out of Cop Skul is so much more qualified to use and carry a gun than I am, just because he has a tin star on his chest.

    Lastly, you shouldn’t worry so much about ending up in the middle of a shootout between a mugger and some Chuck Norris wannabe armed citizen. The gun I carry is strictly for one thing: to defend myself and my wife and kids when it’s the last thing that can keep us from getting killed, and only after all other options (fleeing, calling cops etc.) have been exhausted. That’s why I carry it, and if I get to be 100 and never have to draw it against someone, I’ll die a happy man. But my gun is not there to save you. You make your own choices, and you’re responsible for your own safety.

  7. phillytyper says:

    1)”Appear to be someone who is a perpetual victim…” Hmmm … did you not read the first line of my last post?
    I am a perpetual optimist, actually.

    Of course, if you choose to label me so you can discount my words, which are based on experience, and avoid learning something, that’s your choice.

    2) Being able to use words, including swear words, effectively, is an important skill. Violence, including handgun violence, is the bluntest of instruments. Words are far more useful in far more situations.

    3)”Being a victim is not laudable.” Er, but being a survivor’s not so shabby, and might I add, being armed and dangerous is not safe. It just makes you dangerous.

    4 Of course, like any normal human being, I realize that life is a tenuous balance. Or as someone once said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” I know mine–because I have been tested and faced them. I don’t feel the need to be a “bigger” person with a hand gun.

    Cheers and good luck on your next trip into town; stay “situationally aware” and always be ready to get the drop on them, whoever “them” may be!

    –Michael McGettigan

    • Tam says:

      Michael,

      Of course, if you choose to label me so you can discount my words, which are based on experience, and avoid learning something, that’s your choice.

      Are you not also engaging in labeling and discounting the experiences of others?

  8. Johnny says:

    An ad hominem attack is too easy here, however… The ideal defensive weapon is the one you are most comfortable with. If that happens to be none, so be it. You create a safer environment by being comfortable, even if it means putting your safety in the hands of someone else.

  9. BobG says:

    Not sure why everyone is feeding the troll.

    • Marko Kloos says:

      I don’t really see why you’d call him that. He has his beliefs, and they don’t happen to be in sync with mine, but he’s not trolling anyone, just disagreeing.

  10. BobG says:

    He seems quite condescending to me, and seems to look down upon people who don’t believe in being helpless. If he was actually discussing facts it would be one thing, but (to me, anyway) he seems to be more concerned with telling us how stupid we are about a subject of which he is woefully uninformed.
    If I’m reading him wrong, then my bad.

  11. Kaerius says:

    I’m 5’8″, 165 lbs, greying hair at 30, and wear glasses.
    My weapon is inside my head and guides my body in ways I don’t even have to think about anymore, from 13 years of martial arts practice.

    I still wish I could carry a gun, but the law in my country forbids it. On the other hand, violent crime is rare here, thankfully. (And the most common victim is a young male on his way back from the nightclubs/bars, and I don’t go out drinking much).

  12. Steve says:

    “But my gun is not there to save you. You make your own choices, and you’re responsible for your own safety.

    Amen brother.

  13. John Farrier says:

    “Freelance tax collector” I love that line! It’s the perfect description.

  14. phillytyper says:

    Hmmm, a recurring note is that if I fail to carry a gun, I shouldn’t count on any of the commenters above–who are only responsible for their own safety and the safety of their loved ones, etc. etc.

    The gist is, Don’t like guns–you’re on your own…. my gun is not here to save you… I’ll pull the trigger for me and my own personal DNA group….

    How will they tell? Maybe I didn’t carry that day. Maybe I couldn’t get to it. Maybe I froze up.

    For my part, if I see someone in trouble, i will try to help if I can….I certainly have in the past (despite being small, nearsighted and gunless) and I certainly won’t think, “Geez, does this guy agree with me? He seems like a dang Quaker or something.”

    The line “putting your safety in the hands of someone else” implies that gun owners don’t, or that somehow control their fate more than the, er, rest of us.

    We all trust the strangers coming at us every day to not cross the double yellow, to make sure every kid came in from the school yard, to cook that burger all the way, to wash their hands before returning to the kitchen, to get decent sleep before firing up that 757, to at least bring an extra high E string to the dang gig, etc.

    That’s more what keeps society together, I think, rather than the fear of being “center-punched”, however righteously.

    –Michael McGettigan/philadelphia

    • Tam says:

      Boy, the poor gunnies just can’t win with you, can they?

      You express a negative opinion of some wannabe Chuck Norris coming to your rescue, guns all a-blazin’, and when they tell you not to worry, you decry them for being selfish.

      Which is it, Mr. McGettigan?

  15. Giraffe says:

    phillytyper,

    Perhaps you are a candidate to never carry a gun. Just as well, since it seems you can’t tell the difference between self defense and retribution. Which kid do you shoot? None, since they aren’t threatening you at the moment. How’s that self righteous victim thing working for you? Maybe next time there won’t be a big guy to protect you.

    Words may be your weapon, but you keep smiting thyself.

    In your 12:41 post, why do you feel the need to help someone in trouble, if nobody ever crosses the double yellow? You have correctly identified the straight driving, hamburger cooking, good guys. Why do make the mistake in assuming that there are no bad guys despite so many personal experiences to the contrary? Why do you insist on having no means to defend yourself from people who don’t play by the rules?

    Good luck swearing loudly at them.

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