those damn assault dirtbikes.

A little boy gets shot accidentally by local apprentice hoodlums at a Boston playground. The apprentice hoodlums were riding dirtbikes while they were committing the crime.

The brave city officials of Boston take immediate and bold steps to crack down on…dirtbikes. I kid you not.

In all fairness, they already cracked down on guns, shooting people is already illegal in Boston, and cracking down on violent apprentice hoodlums is too difficult and dangerous.

Massachusetts: Blaming Inanimate Objects For Social Problems Since The Great Depression.


15 thoughts on “those damn assault dirtbikes.

  1. Chang says:

    Hmm. having lived in Beantown (but not in the Dot) I can kind of agree with the idea here. Now it seems that at face value cracking down on the bikes is ridiculous but one resident says this:

    “It’s not so much the bikes,’’ said Brian Patterson, 37, as his niece and daughter cooled off in the park’s splash pad. “It’s the guys that are riding the bikes.’’

    I have to agree with the guy there. These things appeared a few years ago and in general the younger folks who rode these around – black, white or hispanic males in their teens & twenties – behaved moronically on them, using them to dodge in and out of traffic on Mass Ave which is one of the busier thoroughfares in Boston. I dreaded hitting one of them more than I did a hipster cyclist without a helmet.

    FWIW, I’m a believer that idiots shouldn’t have fun things. I guess the problem with that is we should let the Darwinize themselves gratuitously but then again the collateral damage is that some good law abiding people get taken out at the same time.

    I’m hoping they take additional measure to the problem and don’t just ban the weenie bikes.

  2. cb says:

    From the linked article:
    “We have so many people who are leading very desperate lives in our society, and some are resorting to taking out their frustrations by opening fire on a local playground,’’ Councilor Charles C. Yancey said.”

    When I started reading that sentence my ear completed it:

    We have so many people who are leading very desperate lives in our society, and some are resorting to taking out their frustrations by .. banning little motor bikes.

    So sad that the answer is always “reasonable regulation” on broad swipes of society rather than specific solutions like allowing the good mama’s to efficiently protect their kiddos. Enough good mom’s and the shooter wouldn’t have made it off the block. Sad is the paucity of dad’s, but that’s another problem for the angst-ridden regulation fans to enjoy pondering, dialoging, and task-forcing.

    Another possible option is that those urban, east coast, lemming types like what they have. “Those busy police are protecting us!” In that case I’m happy to let them have their environs. Last I checked the borders were open. Just don’t come out here and bring your sick thinking with you. We have enough already. Thanks very much.

  3. Tam says:

    Dammit, that Yamaha YSR-50 is a frickin’ collector’s item!

    Those hoodlums use oxygen, too. I hope they don’t ban oxygen just because the hoodlums use it; it might inconvenience some law-abiding citizens, too.

    • Tam –

      Shhhhh…. You’re jumping a step a head in the plan. That’s after we start taxing CO2 with the carbon credits. If you start giving away the secrets to soon nothing will change.


  4. perlhaqr says:

    I’m just totally confused what the bikes they seized were being seized for. I mean, the article even says they weren’t being used in the way that’s illegal, they weren’t being used at all!

    “These objects that you own are like other objects that some people who have committed a crime own, so we’re taking yours.”

    I mean, what right do the police have to confiscate those vehicles? I know that cops seem to do things on a whim and a badge “because I said so” pretty often but this seems even more capricious than normal. Or maybe this is completely normal for MA cops.

  5. Jay G. says:

    FWIW, the third bike in has NH tags…

  6. Bing says:

    Dirt bikes and scooters don’t rob people, and guns don’t kill people. It’s the people using them, probably at the same time. Look out,cars are used for many crimes, are they next? It would sure cut down on oil demand.

  7. Fred2 says:

    “Dirt bikes and scooters don’t rob people, and guns don’t kill people. It’s the people using them.”

    By that standard Members of congress and administration are directly robbing people and killing them. I think that means we can arrest them in a preventive fashion.

    Maybe even use RICO legislation on them.

    Finally, an abuse of the law I can get squarely behind.

  8. They are apparently not usually properly registered to be street-legal which makes confiscating them ok. You know, just like they do when the tags expire on your car…

    Oh wait.

    I can sympathize with the people who have to deal with the things being driven all over in violation of traffic laws though.

    Not sure why they don’t just use tax dollars and hold a buy back. Those work awesome!

  9. Weer'd Beard says:

    Didn’t follow up on it, so unverified but I heard the kids speeding away may not have been the shooters, but kids not interested in being shot.

    Bikes save lives, just like guns, so ban them.

    “Progressives” like death, it’s their currency!

  10. This all boils down to the simple fact that the government’s interests and the people’s interest often conflict with one another: I rather doubt Menino actually thinks banning those bikes will do anything but I also don’t think Menino wants to do anything, the people being terrorized by a bunch of punks gives the government, with him at the head of it, more power.

    How would putting the blame in its rightful place, on inner city thugs from a craphole like Dorchester, benefit the government? They’d be criticized for being racists and all their welfare and other programs would be called into question as failures, making staying in power much more difficult.

  11. Larry says:

    Dirt bike control is what you do instead of something.

  12. Victor Krueger says:

    Many motorcycles are not designed so as to be able to be registered as highway vehicles. Some inherently are not operable as highway vehicles (they can’t go fast enough). Someone I know has a Rokon Trailblazer. Its a 2 wheel drive bike, but no suspension, and it tops out at maybe 20MPH.

    As far as seizing unregistered cars, at least in Texas one may freely possess an unregistered car. One just can’t operate it on public roads. The vast majority of race cars are not licenced and not able to be. Engine rules tend to require carburators instead of fuel injection which blows all except the most ancient out of street licencing.

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